Should one wait for eternity for the soulmate? Not at all. Just be clear on why you want to get married and what you want from marriage and what efforts you are willing to put in. Love sure is great, but two compatible individuals can make a marriage work too. And for your convenience have thought of a Compatibility Checklist
1. What is the room temperature we both are comfortable in. (9 out of 10 you will like AC during the night and your spouse wont or the other way round.)
2.What time do you sleep and wake up. (Think its dumb? Ask and you will be amazed)
3. My parents are not perfect. Please love them and tolerate them What you want me to love your parents too??? And I should consider their suggestions while making my decisions??? What do you mean by being polite to your friends? And how will you treat my friends?
4.What do you watch on TV or is it ok if we have different tv and watch different programmes.Similarly, do we have to do everything together? Shopping, movies etc.
5.If its a holiday will you like to prefer to go out more or slouch around the house.
6.Do you read books. What do you read. If its the same choice,decide who gets to read it first. If one reads and other doesnt, decide what the other will do when one reads.
7. Everyone loves music. Find out the volume the spouse prefers to hear it in.
8. How much of your salary do you spend on other family, past loans, lifestyle,hobbies etc. Do you believe in investment, and what do you prefer to invest in and what do you think are basic essential expenditure (list out. just eating out , clothing, etc won't do). How much can we spend without checking with the other. and vice versa.
9.What are your bad, irritating, annoying habits which you wont change even for me.
10. What are the dates I should remember (Include family and friends important dates too.Write down and save it). What are the gifts I can buy and not buy. Is an utility item a gift? Are you sure you love suprises?
11.We all love net. Check the number of computers and the internet connections and also the sites the partner would visit and their net ids. (The nteractive websites list is particularly important. Who wants to complain, flirt etc , only to find out its your spouse). If both of you are bloggers -Agree to not visit the spouse blog and vice versa. No one likes criticism and there can never be enough of appreciation.
12.Do you know to cook? Do you clean after cooking? Who should cook when and ask them to be specific on their food preferences. Just Indian, Chinese won't do. How many spoons of sugar in coffee, how spicy, how much oil, coconut whatever etc. (Better if each write down the specifications and negotiate.)
13.What is your favourite problem solving technique?
Astrologer, counsellor, family, friends, mag columns, ignore etc and mix and match them. Of course all problems are not similar. But be prepared for the techniques.
14.Can we discuss sex?
15.When to have children, and what each one of us should do for the child. (Discuss nappy changing, doing homework etc too. Not just being a role model for the child blah blah blah). And if any career adjustments should be made after having children.
Please note that all the points apply to men and women unless specifically excluded.But if all this is tough for you just ask think what you would like to do if you get 15 minutes of free time. And ask the other person to think and then tell. If it matches, go ahead. Hmmm sometimes thats all you get to spend with the person in a day.Other Posts on Relationships
posted on Monday, November 15, 2004 3:06 PM