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Oct 9, 2005

More to Man than Money for Me

There are perhaps some who think all women look for when it comes to choosing a soulmate is money and status and all that men look for, when it comes to choosing their soulmate is looks. Prince Charles and Princess Diana wouldnt have seperated if one goes by this "wisdom and logic".

Its not about what a person is, but a what a person makes you feel, according to me, which determines the success of a relationship.

In my tag, I had to mention 7 things which would attract me to the opposite sex. And well money and looks didnt come in that. Surely they will have to feature in the Top 7?

Well perhaps to some, but not to me. I dislike writing about myself, but since I wrote the tag, and since I came across this post, I want to share something personal.

My husband was related to me befor marriage.

I was brought up in Mumbai and he in Chennai and while growing up we didnt have contact with each others family.

I came to Chennai after studies, but he was working elsewhere and his family in Chennai.

When he had come down for his sister's wedding the proposal came along from .... (Well... ours is not the typical arranged marriage:D)

All I knew about him was he helped his mom in the kitchen when he came down for vacation and that he would write encouraging stuff, filled wiht humour and inspiration to his younger siblings.

Of course there is more , but I dont want to go into more details, since its personal and it involves both of us.
and he doesnt like me blogging about him even if they are pleasant stuffs (well he is not a Leo :D)

I said yes in Feb and the marriage was in Nov. He went back. But I didnt know what his educational qualifications were and what his line was and how much he earned. And only 4 days before the wedding, when I was in Mumbai on official duty and when I caught up with my best friend, and when she asked, did I realise I didnt know these things.

Everyone had assumed that I would know. and I didnt ask because I thought it wasnt important. Only after some months after marriage did I get to know about it, casually.

So to the question of can there be something more to a person than money and status the answer is yes, character.

As the eldest he had struggled a lot for his family and I felt perhaps in times of trouble, he would have courage.

He helped his mom instead of expecting his mom to pamper him, when he came home tired, and I thought it showed his sensitive side, and the respect he has for homemakers and women.

He encouraged his siblings and was humourous and inspirational and witty. Even though he didnt get time to write long letters , he wrote these poems on pics and postcards. To me it showed how much he valued relationships, and well I am attracted to a person who can be humourous and intelligent.

There were some tough times, like he was out of work while I worked, and when our kid died even after a surgery, and the miscarriage and few more problems, which I dont like to talk about in blogs.

Money and Status and Looks can come and go. He doesnt have the 7 qualities I listed, but he is more than the seven wonders combined to me. Thats Love. And who said, its only love when he has all the things I want and I have all the things he want. We both have our minus points, and it does drives us crazy when one cant see the others point of view.

But we love each other inspite of what the other person is, not just due to what the other person is.

I was 23 then and now 31. But if I had to go through the process again, I would still do the same. When I have to search for a mate for others my advise always had been to go beyond the matrimonial ad sterotype of “fair well educated homely working girl and handsome engineer looking for fair beautiful slim and understanding homely career oriented girl“

And I am honest when I wrote in the tag, of all the words i say, "love you" is what I say frequently. and looks like this is one more post where I dont mind sounding weird and cliched, for being honest. :)

PS : Thanks bloggers for voting me as Ms.Cool based on that tag. Behind every successful man perhaps is a woman. And behind this "cool" blogger is a man to whom blogs mean many a times burnt food and my mood variations, based on whats happening in my blog world:) Hubby dear thanks and of course, love you :)


  1. great blog here. i totally agree with all you said about love and how character is more important than money and status. keep on writing!

  2. Wow Gaya :). Its so touching :). Looks like you guys were and are made for each other :). I don't have any more words to say. Wish you and your hubby all the happiness in the world :).

  3. hey, you turned 31? when?
    happy belated b'day!

  4. eros and psyche thanks:)

    deeps thanks a lot:)

    bangaloreguy thanks a lot:)
    (i know u r wgaf from o3, since u had used this id some months earlier) 2nd August and urs?? :)


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