Subscribe To My Podcast

Nov 12, 2006

Do you need your Him to be Happy?

The relationship isn't bad enough for a Divorce,.smiley
But doesn't match your Dreams.smiley
Whats the point of a relationship, you wonder sometimes,smiley
When you aren't Happy most of the times.smiley

He doesn't abuse you.
Yet it would be nice, if he could care more for you.smiley
Hmmm, well he does care for you.
But it would be nice if he Expresses, the care for you, in the way you Expect.smiley

Life is already tough and seems to be getting tougher.smiley
Wouldn't it be nice, if one could go back a little?
Well not as a teenager, but atleast to the twenties
When you got attention and had fun?smiley

Now, its just burdens to be shared,.smiley
But whats the point of sharing burden?
Just living?
But when did just living constitute having a life, and being Happy? ,smiley

There is a difference between unhappiness, satisfaction and happiness.
Unhappiness : When you dont get water in the morning, just after you have shampooed your hair and its entering your eye.smiley
Satisfaction : When you get water.smiley
and Happiness? : When you become a bathroom singer, not caring about your voice being awful, but just feeling good, and living, that moment, even when the temperature of the water isnt right and you dont have the best shampoo or shower gel and a sexy guy massaging your back :) smiley

Getting back to your situation.

You have given your time and life,
And yet you don't get compliments.smiley
Just told to be thankful;
That there are few criticisms.smiley

There are 43 things you want to change in himsmiley
Even if there are 32 more important things, that you wouldn't want to change, in him.smiley

So how can You be Happy in this situation?

1.The purpose of all relationships, isn't to make you Happy. Yeah it sounds crazy, but just accept this and move on to the next point:)

2.Take control of your happiness, don't wait for him to make you Happy.

3.Its possible to be Happy, just by minor things in life, like a smile. Go ahead smile now for 5 seconds (at the risk of seeming silly or having an internet affair). And feel the difference.

4.Stop expecting from him. Forget what you think, he has to do. And feeling miserable about it later, when he doesn't live up to your expectations. Whats more important being right about your expectations, or living happily?

5.Accept he can't make you happy many times.Accepting doesn't mean saying its ok. But it simply means going after the consequences instead of brooding about the cause. For eg : When you don't get water, when you are in the shower, instead of feeling miserable, and brooding about it, its wiser to accept you don't have water, and to think what you can do about it.

6.It would be nice if he made you happy, but you dont need him to make you feel happy.Happiness is a sea which is Within you, and it doesnt need rain from him.

7.Think, what makes you Happy and plan to make yourself happy. Dont feel guilty, thinking you are being selfish. If you don't care for yourself, who will?

8.Communicate what makes you happy, even when :
a. The fun goes out, when he does only what you tell him to do, and doesn't think independently, (like you) on what would make you happy.
b. he doesn't do what makes you happy. Just because he didn't do somethings, doesn't mean he will do nothing.

9.Its tough to be loved, and not respected. Draw a line, be firm, but dont get hysteric.
Its one thing to Think he did this last year and to bring it up in a fight,
its another to Tell, Honey, just because I am not shouting or pouting ,doesn't mean I am OK with what you did yesterday.

10. Its not necessary for million autograph hunters to make you happy
Its not even necessary for someone in your family to make you happy

Your happiness, is in your hands and heart,
You dont need a reason or excuse to be happy
Being alive itself is a joy and a reason to be happy
So dont wait for a Stimulus, before you break into a Song

To reach a financial goal, its not enough to earn, its important to invest and spend wisely.
Its not enough to be in a relationship to be happy, its important to pay attention to yourself.
And you dont need him to make you feel happy, you need him, only to share your happiness.

Previous Relationships Posts
Previous Posts on Happiness : Aargh Diaries - Desires and Happiness, A Butterfly called Happiness


  1. WD.
    you sure are a happy person,
    now make HIM happy, hei Na?

  2. nice thoughts - especially the communication part

  3. lp, my happiness is my responsibility, just like his happiness is his,
    but of course, we make each other happy:)

    whiskypriest, yeah thats pretty imp:)

  4. You know what would make you more happy...watching the Borat movie. Yes, this is overkill but unless you watch it you won't know how funny it is. :)

  5. vaibhav, hmmm, maybe..

    but i dont think its right to mislead people,by saying one is making a documentary on immigrants learnin to drive or on their poverty for example, and then to make a movie.
    and it seems to be based on a Turkish guy too..

    even if the movie is funny, i hope the producers lose a ton of money from the legal cases against them..:)

  6. No Donks no... u got the wrong idea!

    That guy is a British guy pretending to be a Kazakh journo visiting USA for some cultural learning to take back home.

    And he comes across innocently foolish.. its very offensive (jokes on women, jews, animals, politicians etc.) but very very funny. The joke is on the people who think it's OK to kill a Jew. What they don't know that the supposedly Kazakh journo is jew himself.

    He brings out our prejudices in a very funny manner!

  7. well borat isnt a woman:D

    i dont want to argue about how funny it is, before seeing the movie..

    but i was talking about the others in the movie, not Borat

  8. hey hi gaya...
    kalpesh here...well, rack your brains... remember now...
    well newez how r u doin?? reading ur blog after a real long time.. got many posts to catch up.. ;)
    glad to see you still havent lost your knack of writing regularly...

  9. kalpesh of course i remember you!

    thanks for the visit:)

    tc and have fun:)

  10. nice post wd. made me think deeper.

  11. Wonderful. Needed this. :-)


Have a Great Day!