A Reason to be a Plumber

We met for coffee. She had called me, so I could guess, it was to talk about me.

"Your Mom wanted me to talk with you." I wince and look away.
"Its about you being a plumber." I make a face.
"Its been months, and now its not funny."
I shrug and say "Maybe it wasnt meant to be funny".
She sighs. "You gave up your job, so soon, after His death to become a Plumber. She thought there could be some connection, and thought I could convince you."

He, was her dead husband. One of my best friends, like her.

"Haven't we been through this before?"

She gets mad, and I cant help smiling, and as usual, that just makes her more mad.

"Dont start on what I should do. There must be some reason, to be a Plumber" she yells, and then quickly lowers her head, realising she has spoken too loudly. I smile more broadly, and she fumes.

I stretch my legs, sip my coffee and say
"Since I opted to become a plumber, many theories have been floating around regarding my motives. Why dont you try to see if anyone of them, makes sense". And I remove a sheet from my pocket and read from it, since I had come well prepared.

"1. Childhood dream.
This is by those who cant think of anything. And for anything and everything, think it goes back to childhood. I wonder if they would have mentioned the Childhood Dream Theory, if I had become an autopsy surgeon.

2. A Spy in disguise
Err please go back to your movies and novels. Truth is stranger than fiction.

3. All About a Girl and a Broken Heart
If the elderly mention childhood dreams, the guys my age, think the only reason a guy would go crazy (i.e decide to become a plumber) would be because of a girl. Maybe they think, I hide my tears due to the broken heart, by blaming the leaky pipes (wouldnt being a chef and cutting onions a better option?). Never mind, thats not the answer.

4. I love it
Now again, why would someone love cleaning clogged drains? Again, would they have mentioned this theory, if I had been an Autopsy Surgeon.

5. Perhaps secret income in the form of blackmail
When folks call me to fix their pipes, I dont fix tiny cameras and neither do I inject them with truth serum.

6. An excuse to meet a certain woman
Ha if its not a broken heart, it must be sex, according to some guys. Life for me, isnt whats potrayed on Desperate Housewives or Ekta serials for that matter.

7. Aspiring actor/model, who has pride and therefore a part time assignment or a writer wanting to write "Plumber diaries".
Thats perhaps by those who havent seen me:D and "Plumber Diaries", that would be about pipes not people, so no chance of being a bestseller.

8. Laziness
Hmmmm. Yeah I love being lazy and working slowly, in a stinking, wet, room.

9. Lack of opportunities. Blame the government.
Not exactly. Unlike the unfortunate, atleast I am employed.

10. Hate my Family
Thats by those who realise my family, hates me for my "career choice". "

11. I am Gay and dont want to get married
Hmmm Plumbers can never get married?"

I pause, I have come up with only 11. I like an even figure, can you think of another one, and please dont say "I am crazy, thats a boring theory"

She smiles mischeivously and adds
12. This is a secret marketing strategy, developed by your marketing team to get you inside the house, and talk to your clients about credit cards. Since all potential clients slam the phone or the door, when you start talking about credit cards.
I laugh "Hmmm, perhaps not a bad idea, and perhaps I should contact my ex-Boss and convince him to give me back my job. But how do I start the conversation with my clients. "I have done my job, but you could pay me with a credit card. And I can suggest a perfect card for you, even if you have 5 cards. And if you apply through me, I can get you a complimentary, tap, free?"

She grins and looks steadily into my eyes. I simply smile back. We have finished the coffee. And now she has to hurry back home, so that her mother in law wont be suspicious. And her cosister's children would be home from school soon.

"Please change. Its just so horrible for them." she pleads.

"To say, my elder son is a plumber and my younger son, a software engineer?"

She sulks and then says."I just hope you are not ruining your life, because of me."

"So its ok to ruin my life, as long as its not due to you?" I retort lightly as the bill arrives.

She seems upset. I pay. For the first time, in our friendship, she doesnt volunteer to share. We both realise it, and yet pretend to not realise it.

We get up, and as we leave, I say "You know, I owed him some money, but I could save only a part of it till now". And try to hand her an envelope.

She stands still, stunned. "He never told me, about it."
"The poor guy was so scared of you, in my earlier job I would have paid back in a month, so he probably didnt tell you."
I shrug. "Of course, I would rather not pay it back, but unlike you, I dont wanted to be haunted by him."

She sighs and says "I wish he would haunt you and scare you into doing something else. Now what do I tell your mother, her son is just crazy?" I shrug again.

She stares at the envelope, unsure. I say, "Hey if you dont want, what is yours, dont blame me, if I dont give it to you, again."

She perhaps thinks, its genuine and not charity and takes it with a smile and says "Now I need money and you better switch your career, if you want to finish off the loan quickly"

I retort "Sorry, I cant make a career change, just for you." That seems to make her happy. And she walks away, while I stand near the door waiting, so that we wont be seen together.

After a few steps, she turns around to wave at me and says "Just be happy.. and take care.."

I smile, nod and wave. And walk home after a few minutes.

Being a plumber is not fun. But its easier than being an electrician for me. And it also makes it easier, to talk to the maid, who works in the flat, adjacent to hers. (They stopped the maid, since She could do that work). And the neighbour's maid feels comfortable talking to a curious plumber, not a telemarketing guy.

I do wonder, if I would have realised otherwise, she doesnt have the money, to buy what she needs, every month, and her embarrassment, last week, when asked to justify her expenses, to her inlaws. After all she wasnt supposed to spend for herself, like her cosister, who had an independent income.

True, my family is embarrassed over my choice. But thats nothing compared to her embarrassment, when it comes to discussing her problems.

My family isnt proud of me, but then, she is too proud to discuss her situation with her parents or friends.

Plumber might not be the best choice. But it was what I could come up with, at that moment. Instead of wasting my time, thinking about the doing the best, I go along with my choice, making the best out of it.

- Jupiter

Previously with these characters
Censor the Sad Movies
Imagine - Him Her & Me
This is fictional entry in the Imagine series.

Post no.345

Censor the Sad Movies

If there is anything more awkward than bunking college to watch a movie, only to find your Principal with your Parents, sitting next to you, its watching a movie with your best friend's wife, after his death. I walk along the corridor with Her, leaving just enough space for Him to join us, as we used to earlier. Panting, with popcorn elaborately arranged on His left hand, as His right hand would lunge for my left shoulder, chiding us for leaving Him. My shoulder feels the burden, of the lack of His hands. The seats bring more memories of Him, of Them. The entire gang sat between Them. The times, when I sat next to Him, when She would be watching the movie, when He would try to watch Her, and when I would move my head forwards and backwards, to block His view. I curse myself silently, why had I stolen those moments from them?

We arrive at our seats. I remember the popcorn and ask Her but She shakes Her head. She has already looked around. Wondering if someone would notice us. Perhaps I should have taken a rakhi to Her this raksha bandhan. That would perhaps make it easier for Her to be with me. But I am too stubborn. Being a Rakhi Brother would be responding to the gossip, and I want to deny and ignore their existence, and hope it would go away.

I sink further into my seat and try to watch the movie. And drift away. I am awakened by her at the interval. Well it isnt, its the end of the movie. I feel sheepish, as She smiles, until I adjust my eyes to the light, and realise She had been crying.

"Sorry, didnt realise it would be so sad" I apologise. But as we stand waiting for the crowd to move, She answers. "Its ok I enjoyed it."
Urgh, "Movies are for entertainment, the sad ones should be censored", I harshly reply.
She pauses, reflects and says "Perhaps we can appreciate the sadness in life, even if one feels sad, and accept that ultimately, it doesnt matter much, its just a trick of time and emotions. Its ok to feel sad, but its pointless to feel sad about being sad."
I want to say or rather scream "Bah" and couple of foul words, but mumble "Whatever" and move on, letting her walk ahead of me and making sure no one jostles her.

Its raining outside. And She has come prepared with an umbrella. And while an umbrella could accomodate the three of us, earlier, now, I pretend to enjoy the rain. A two wheeler goes past her, and splashes muddy water on her white sari. I am unable to resist "Its a message from Him. He doesnt want you to wear white. He hates white". And though it hurts me to hurt her, by bringing up what He would like, I console myself with the thought, She needs it to hear it, and He would want me to tell it.

She has to cross the road to walk towards the bus stop and She waits with me near the gate, for the traffic to slow down (it rarely halts). She has choosen the bus, probably because it would be awkward for her, to travel with me in an auto or taxi. I dont know what makes me crazier, his death, or the behaviour of his family towards her after his death, or her meek acceptance of everything.

She breaks my thoughts with "Perhaps its a message, that pain is a part of life, and even the skies have pain and they send this message through rain. And rain might be inconvenient, but necessary part of life". And waves a quick bye and leaves, before I could think of a repartee.

I stand still, drenched in the rain. Trying to understand the mumbo jumbo of accepting pain. The rains stop. A girl squeals about a rainbow. But I dont care for rainbows. Or for appreciating or accepting pain. Life to me isnt a movie. And if its like a movie or a serial, I hope they fire the scriptwriter soon, because its silly and the TRP cant be lower. As for the rain and the rainbow, I prefer the desert, I want to scream after her. But She has already left and a guy asks me, "The movie that bad?" Oh the rain had earlier conveniently hidden my tears, earlier. Inspite of myself, I smile, and say "I slept". And try to find the right metaphor for sleeping through a sad movie called life. And whats this nonsense about its ok to feel sad, but dont feel sad about being sad ?

Earlier in the Imagine Series Imagine - Him Her & Me
Other posts in the Imagine Series
324

Imagine - Him Her & Me

""Why do you want to become a plumber" She asked.
"Why on earth dont you remarry" I said. That confused her, and gave me some time to enjoy the coffee.

"You are embarrassing your parents and your family".

I nodded and thought ,” so what.“

Frustrated, she looked away. And said quietly "I wish He was here, he could have knocked some sense into you." .
Ouch that hurt. The, He, was my buddy and her husband. One thinks the world is wonderful, when two of your friends marry. And then oneday a drunk driver changes it forever. And you wonder whom you should mourn more, your dead friend or your friend who has been widowed one month after her wedding.
We never talk about him, for that matter we hardly talk. After his death she went into “the world wouldnt understand, we are just friends mode.” This is the first time we are meeting in private, and from her determined expression, I was sure there was only one thing she wanted to discuss and that was me, not Him.

"I dont think he would have said anything, he would have thrown his hands in the air, and would have looked at you and said, "You tell him" and you would have simply thrown your coffee at me" I finally managed to reply.

"So would it work, if I threw some coffee at you?"
"No. But look on the positive side, one day when you need someone to fix a leaky pipe, you could call me and I wont reply "Dear are you sure you dont need our Gold Card. Our credit card is simply the best, blah blah. And you can choose to go abroad, where there are no leaky pipes, and you can pay the cost in easssssssssssy customer friendly instalments "

She shook her head, "Money doesnt matter? What about potential? And I thought you wanted to become a pirate not a plumber." Ouch. We had enjoyed "The Pirates of the Caribbean" movie, and I had declared that I am like Johnny Depp. (Therefore got only eyeliners and kajals on that year's birthday).

"Hey plumbers too live. What matters is not what I am best at, or what would make my parents proud, just what I love doing." Taking a deep breath I added "And people do remarry"

She froze and shook her head slightly.

"I wish he was here, not you. I could have convinced him easily." Insensitive words, but then she knew me.She smiled inspite of herself."Ok. Just remember I will not hesitate to tell you "Told you so" if you later regret this."
We laughed. Was it back like old times, no.

She hesitated and added "Sorry about your parents."
"Doesnt matter. If they would love me just for my career, it was their problem, not mine." I lied gruffly.

"And hey, you dont have to get married to get a life. He wouldnt have wanted you to be a maid in his family and be at everyone's mercy. Stop being the devoted widowed wife, and get a job and get your own life. Just because you care for his parents and his family, doesnt mean you should do everything they want. What matters is not whether everyone is happy with you, just whether you are happy with your life."

She nodded, and perhaps overwhelmed, said a quick bye and left. Such a simple stupid thing, and yet why so tough to figure it out.

- Jupiter

Which Pirates of the Caribbean character are you?
Imagine is a fictional blog series, written by two bloggers Jupiter and Speck