A Flame named Freedom

In humiliation, how brightly I burn.
Consequences? I have no concern!
I am the Mighty Dragon, breathing Fire,
Revenge is all, I now thirst and desire.
My Freedom, you are a wonderful flower.
Borne from you, the delicious fruit, Power.
When Retribution I can certainly elude,
Why suddenly has my rage subdued?

Oh Freedom, you gave me Power
But Power is also true test of Character, I learn.
By Humuliation and Character
My poor dear ego, you have now been, twice, burned.

Freedom, its unfair, you fight fire with your light
My rage has been controlled and caged by your light!

I thought I was truly free,
And could go on any spree, carefree!

But, Freedom is a flame within and it ignites

A guiding light, to do the right.

Not a weapon for the might,

To be used in any and every spite.

So, Freedom, I want to be Free from You
Without you I could float in self pity and rue.
For what is the use of being free if, I,
Can but Don't, get an eye for an eye?




Freedom, you might take me to great heights
But I am just as free as a kite.
The string of integrity, chains my flight
With Wind or String, whom I should fight?

Oh please me don't tell me, I am not Ego
I am Character and Ego, I must forgo.
Thought Freedom was a frame of mind,
Why should it be a flame in my mind?

Yet, I wonder if this flame will propel Me to Rise

Like a Phoenix, from ashes of my ego's demise.

Then Freedom, from my ego, you have set me free

Perhaps to happiness, you are after all the key.

An entry for Blogadda's Frames of Freedom Contest

Note : My twitter followers would have been aware of my anger and anguish the last couple of days. Towards the end of the journey called rage, these emotions and thoughts, fell into place. Since real life is hardly poetic, my Id Ego, has only been partially burnt and blackmails me more with its scars. Nevertheless, I am at a better place and at least in partial peace.Wrote the poem and then clicked these pictures (In the dark, a candle (including the first picture), a Silverish Shell articraft for the wing effect, & a helpage calender for Mahatma Gandhi's picture (in the last image). Never thought the toughest part of the journey would be in choosing amongst all the pictures I clicked . Well freedom is definitely fun, if we don't mind the tiny burdens. The line "Power is the True Test of Character" is my favourite quote, and it explains, the source of many a problems. From littering, taking an office pencil, or crores in scam. Gandhi never advocated non-violence as a weapon for the weak,(he asked them to be brave and fight back), but asked the strong to follow non-violence to prove the strength in their soul too. Forgiveness isn't about saying its OK but choosing to Respond instead of React.

Even when you can get away with it,

Ask yourself, what you would Not Do.

Well, thats the Real You, a sum of your Values.

Rahul, Dimpy aur Insaaf

If Rakhi Sawant can deliver Insaaf better than Raj Thackeray on NDTV Imagine, Rahul and Dimpy can deliver better justice than Rakhi at a rival entertainment channel, titled "Rampy aur Insaaf ." 

Its a Royal Court with attendants in garish costumes. Trumpets blow, Shehnais and Sitars are re-mixed, as Rahul and Dimpy enter, dressed in the Latest Authentic Ethnic Finery (LAEF) and sit on a throne, from the Ramayan set.

The Host also dressed in LAEF introduces the first complainant.

A woman cries "There are more mobiles than toilets in India! We have corruption cases like Koda and Kalmadi's and their crores. And renovation cases like Yeddyurappa who spend Ten Lakhs on their toilet. What can you do to ensure every Indian gets a Toilet?"

Dimpy smiles demurely and says "I think Rahulji is better suited to answer this case since his father had groomed him to be a future PM and he is an expert on politics." Dimpy and Rahul smile at each other.(Background violin "Tujhe dekha to yeh jana sanam").

Host "Rahulji, when will you enter active politics? We know you spend lots of time doing social service."

Rahul chukles and chides the Host "My Social Service is supposed to be a Secret, otherwise my Service will be viewed as just a publicity stunt. When the time comes, I will talk about other plans. But right now, lets talk about this person's problem." Rahul turns smiles at the woman and brings a finger to the chin.

The host thunders "Ek chote se break ke baad, aapko milega Rahulji ka Jawab aur Insaaf".

After mere 6 minutes of advertisements,

Rahul with serious expression (Eyebrows knitted).

"Legal angle is a waste because it takes time," "unlike our show" jibes the Host, Audience Laughs and cheers for 3 minutes."Sorry Rahulji please continue" apologises the Host.

"And government has to spend so much money on prosecution and financing all the Swiss trips for CBI officers. Lets introduce a fine system. The accused will have to pay 25% of the scam amount as fine. Government will have more money for spending on sanitation and all will be Fine. On renovation of bathrooms, please understand, unless we give the best to our ministers they won't be able to give their best. " (Background music "All is Well").

Dimpy "Rahulji with so much of our money in Swiss Bank accounts, didn't you think we should nationalise Swiss banks and bring back the money to India?" Studio audience breaks into applause. Rahul nods, takes Dimpy's hands, looks into her eyes and vows, that it would be his first move after becoming Prime Minister, but she shouldn't spill out his secrets in public." Dimpy blushes and apologises.

Studio Audience claps while Host gets ecstatic and hands over to the complainant, a gift voucher from a sponsor, for an elite bath set and mentions a tiny break.

After 8 minutes of advertisements, the Host introduces a poor man (wearing only a dhothi) from Rajasthan, who wails, for 11 days of physical work in hot sun I got Rs.11 but MPs earn in thousands and get hikes, even if they disrupt Parliament.

Dimpy smiles at Rahul and asks permission to answer the question. Rahul, gives her an indulgent smile and nods. Dimpy in a choked voice "Sir, you got Rs.11 for 11 days but what about your wife, who has worked for your family, how much has she got? This is life, it has ups and downs." A close up shot reveals a tear flowing down Rahul's face (background sad sitar sound).

Dimpy continues "How much do you think your mother struggled to give birth to you, do you think you can pay her adequte compensation? We work for the love of our nation. MPs may earn in thousands but what about cricketers and film stars who earn in crores? Please do not confuse work, love, respect, value and money."

Turns in slow motion to Rahul and looks at him for approval. Rahul gives her a you make me feel so proud of you look (gazes with smile without blinking). (Background violin Kabhie Kabhie mere Dil Mein).

Audience claps, Host Wah Wahs and gives the Man a Chocolate Gift Hamper and the latest Fairness Cream with anti-darkening RE3 agent, specially made, for those who are out in the sun for a longtime. The complainant gives a deep bow and goes away with the hampers and a smile on his face.

After a 5 minute ad break, the Host introduces us to the final complainant. A young guy is checking his mobile, realises the camera is on him and complains tearfully,"No one reads my blog or my tweets. I have 641 followers on my twitter not a single one of them respond to my tweets."

Rahul gets down from his throne and walks up to the guy and puts his arm around him. "Life is very cruel. But instead of Twitter and Blogger if you spend your time on TV, you will feel significant, because in TV TRP is everything. And you can participate and make a difference, especially if you watch and vote with Reality TV.

The Tweeter breaks down more and cries more and while hugging Rahul tweets "Hugging Rahul Mahajan" and updates his Facebook Wall, with "Rahul thinks I Rock". Dimpy also joins them and cries, and says "I know how tough, it is to feel insignificant, and I will pray for you. And the three of them go and pray in front of the Ganesh Idol near the throne. Dimpy sings Jai Ganesh Aarthi and offers the prasad to Rahul, Host and Tweeter (who is tweeting and posting with one hand).

Rahul and Dimpy handover the latest mobile with twitwofour technology to the Tweeter and offers one final advise. "Please don't confuse Online Readers, Followers and Friends with family. The only important people exist in real life, spend more time watching TV with your family members." Audience Applauds. Background music "Insaaf ka Mandir hai yeh".

Dimpy's puppy runs to her and licks her face. Audience coo. Dimpy tells the Host they have to take leave to spend quality family time together and promise to come back to resolve more problems. Rahul thanks the sponsors and the producers. And they leave in a chariot, with two white horses, waving to the crowd, as the onlookers cheers.

Host looks directly at the camera and says "We are family, we are here to advise and suggest. Come,Share your problems with Us".

According to some sources, Dimpy gave the Tweeter, a printout of Blogadda's How to get More Readers Traffic for your blog and said, "Bhaiya, I wish they had Tips for Twitter too". Rahul got suspicious and snatched the printout and shredded it to pieces. The Director Yelled Cut! and screamed "Why mention Blogadda! They haven't sponsored us!"

If you liked this post try, The Patriot - The Celebrity with Duty

If you hated this post try, Simple Substitute for Sleeping Pill

Shoe-maar's Throw Shoes Syndrome

Breaking News. Other politicians are catching up with Shoe-mar's Philosophy. Union Minister for Chemicals & Fertilizers M.K.Azhagiri has requested the opposition to Throw Shoes, but not Questions. His colleague Railway Minister Mamata Banerjee has specified Throw Shoes but not those of Red Hue. Home Minister P.Chidambaram has pointed out that a shoe had been thrown at him earlier, so if someone wanted to Throw Shoes, Just throw the other Pair. Not to be outdone Digvijay Singh has said "Throw shoes, but only on High Command's instruction."


Meanwhile, Mayawati has now instructed her administration to, Throw Shoes but only Golden ones. Kalmadi by the way, has placed an order with an Italian firm to deliver 50,000 pairs, priced at a lakh each, to be delivered during the Closing Ceremony. He has requested everyone "Throw Shoes, but only those ordered by me".


BJP and the Communists have joined hands to launch an agitation against the ProThrowShoe attitude of the government, since Throwing Shoes is against our Culture. They also pointed out that, the inflation has affected the price of shoes and now the aam aadmi couldn't afford to buy shoes.They hope their mass agitation will throw the Government out of Power. But quickly, Kapil Sibal has shooed away the agitation with a 35 Paise Shoe Scheme.

MNS meanwhile, has launched its own campaign "Throw Shoes, but only those made by Marathi Manoos." 

Since Rahul Mahajan has been hospitalised with chest pains, NDTV Imagine has announced a new reality show with Rakhi Sawant titled "Rakhi ka Shoeciever". The object of the contest is to win the heart and receive the shoes from Rakhi Sawant.

Bollywood stars (minus Shahrukh) have started their own mass agitation. They stood, arm in arm outside Aamir Khan's House chanting "Throw Shoes, Please don't be Coy, You are after all our Midas Touch Boy!"  Kareena has signed an endorsement deal for Size Zero shoes while Katrina has tweeted about her New Mystery Shoe. 


Since the title of Bobby Deol's horror thriller "Help" has not helped in making it a blockbuster, the producers have decided to rename it "Shoe" and hoping to woo and shoo in some audience. A small controversy has been created with the title, as Sanjay Leela Bhansali has just launched a new movie "Hum Shoe Throw Chuke Sanam". And RGV has decided to rename Phoonk 3 as Ssssshhh-Whhoooooo

Baba Sehgal, by the way, has remixed "I am too Sexy for my shoes" with "I am Sexy throwing Shoes" to relaunch his career.

Admist all these Shoe news, Lalit Modi has announced an Indian Shoe Throwing Show. He has promised he will take Shoe Throwing to a new entertainment level, with Cheerleaders, Designer Shoes, Foreign Players and lots of pre-match and post-match parties thrown in between. And has even roped in the sponsor, Jimmy Choo. While Modi has tweeted it will be a "ShowStopper", Shashi Tharoor has simply tweeted "Sho(ow) Shoepid".

In an unrelated development, four new Chinese factories have been setup to manufacture shoes. A leading multinational bank has launched a new Credit Card, exclusively for  purchasing your Dream Shoes. And has launched an internet campaign titled Shoe Shop with Bipasha Basu. I have received 32 junk smses about products which will help me throw shoes accurately. I will delete them after smsing my replies to NDTV Times Now & IBN on their Shoe Polls. 

Then I will be off, to get the blessings of Shoe Swami who has arrived from the Himalayas. My friend assures me, for a four figure fee, he will throw a shoe at me and I will become a very Popular Blogger. But I am a very scientific person, the Shoe Swami is just a back up plan, I have already bought Fair and Shiny Shoe Whitening Cream. Don't I know a person can be successful, only by being fair and having a fairer Shoe?

If you have a short fuse,

Or if you want to blow away your blues,

Or simply want to be on the News,

Throw Shoes, Throw Shoes.

Wake up, those who mentally snooze

Hey, Use any excuse

Only a shoe you are going to lose

Throw shoes, Throw Shoes.

Target those who disagrees with your views.

But Watch out though, some might reuse.

Do it before it fades away with overuse.

Throw Shoes Throw Shoes.

Hmmm, you think, this post has no use

If you don't mind standing in a long queue

Hey at me, you can always throw shoes!

But smelly socks, sorry I will refuse.

with sincere apologies to those mentioned above.


PS : If you have heard a constant buzz behind you ear "Shoemaar, shoemaar" and you have not been drinking, doing drugs etc, than it could be the voice of our own sweet Ketangel. Just throw a shoe, towards the sky. Aargh angel will make sure you hit Ketangel. And you will be featured in Times of Angels, Anglie (not Jolie) Times. 


PPS : If you are wondering , who the #@$ $# is Ketangel, you should read Divine Justice T20 Style- 2


PPPS : If you have read the post and want to become Angelised in my post like Ketan, then you would have to be a regular top commentator. And thats not just typing a" nice post" comment. He reads the entire post and faces my cross examination. The logic being, you have to face a death equivalent to become an angel. And there are many bloggers who would choose death, over reading my blog.

People Land and Sky

Mother vs Motherland

So this is death, the dying soldier thought.
To avoid this, how my mother had fought!
As she felt her spirit soar,
She faintly heard, her mother's roar.
"You won't live for me, your mother!
But don't mind dying for your motherland! "
"Not everyone dies mom, and life has no guarantees."
she had coolly retorted and even now, she didn't rue her stand.

Owning Land

"Dadi, is the mango from the tree in the Big House really verry tasty?" the ten year old girl asked her grandmother. "Yes." replied the sleepy grandmother.

"How do you know?" asked the girl, unwilling to sleep. "My dadi told me" replied the tired woman.
"How did your dadi, know ?"whispered the persistent girl. "She lived there" her dadi said sadly. "Ma!" the girl's father warned.

Excited the girl asked "She lived in the Big House?"
"No." replied the tired granny."She lived in a small house on that land, but her father had planted those mango trees. Then one day, men came with sticks and knives and told them to leave. And then later those men, sold the land to some other people and then the Big House came up with those Big Gates and Walls."
"Enough. Now go to sleep." chided her mother.
"So the Mangoes are ours?" she asked excited, ignoring her mother.

"No" mourned her granny "Those trees have died, and now, its their fruits that have become trees, and anyway we don't own the land."

"So how can I own a land?" the girl asked after few minutes.

Her granny pretended to snore. But she shook her and repeated the question. "You buy with money" came the curt reply from her father.

"But did the men with sticks give money to your dadi's father, dadi?"
"No but those were different times" sighed the granny and turned the other way and faked sleep.
The girl stared into the darkness,  unable to sleep, inspite of the suggestive snores.

She snaked her arm around her grandmother's waist. Then whispered "Tomorrow I will go with sticks and own the land near the river. Then I will sell it and make money and buy lots of lands. And then we will plant lots and lots of mango trees. And then my grandchildren and their grandchildren will taste the sweetest mango ever."

She expected applause but just got few giggles.

Hiding on the Land

She watched her mother anxiously touch her little brother's forehead and shake her head at her father.
Agitated, he said "I will take her to the doctor". But her mother said it would be risky in the middle of the night. "They might stop you and ask for papers." And continued to sponge her brother with a wet towel.

She stared at them anxiously, hoping she could provide a solution. Her mother had told her, to not talk too much about her father, because he was an illegal immigrant. She wondered if they would allow her to take her little brother to the doctor. She was not sure if she was also illegal but didn't dare to ask her mother that, and add to her distress. She stared at the line of ants, on the wall, and whispered, "How do you find out if you are illegal?"

Territory, Entity and Identity

"I won't tell you, even if you cause me pain." she said defiantly.
Her captor sneered,"Aaah a fighter, lets find out how much pain you can withstand..."
Later, he casually asked, "So how, is the pain?"
She managed to gasp, "Not greater than the pain, of not having a motherland"

"Oh, you will have one, if you stopped resisting and started accepting"  he said, as he searched his tool box.

"Accept!! Accept that your people can do anything to us, because you have firepower? Accept you are mighty and you can strip us of our Identity?" she snarled, before blacking out with pain, from his latest tool.

Free Sky

"Was it me, in all those short stories? "
the soldier's soul wondered,
as towards the sky, it soared.
Did everything happen, to me, in this birth,
or were some from before?"

The Patriot - The Celebrity with Duty

Beaming Bollywood Producer (BBP) "Our astrologer has suggested a Patriotic movie to launch my son".

Superhit Scriptwriter (SS) "Excellent! An Angry Hero is upset with the corrupt government.."

BBP "No No they might mistake him for a Naxalite, nothing anti-government."

SS "Hero is a soldier.."

Son of Rich Producer (SORP) "No that would make the movie boring and drab"

SS "A non-violent journalist,"

BBP "Again boring character. Make it a romantic patriotic movie"

SS "Hero falls in love with a girl from another country.."

BBP "No Way! Look what happened to Sania!"

SS "Hero is a pop star, who has made it big through a reality contest."

BBP "Excellent, we can show off His dancing skills"

SS "We open with Hero on stage, head down, hearing in his mind, the comments of the Reality Show Judge (some old star who wants to make a comeback) berating him for being a poor orphan with just hopes, going up against his classy prodigy. Someone shouts Action and the spotlight turns on him. He faces the camera and comes up with a mix of rap and soul number, with Vande Mataram, Mera Bharat Mahan and ends with Jai Hind". The audience and the other judges give him a standing ovation. While the Reality Judge reluctantly applauds him. Later this Judge tellsHero, its not easy to get voted as the winner since, smses costs money. Few days later, he becomes the winner closely beating his rich competitor.

SS "While flying abroad for a tour, terrorists take over his aeroplane. Since he is popular they want to hold him hostage to get their colleagues released. (They explain Indians might not care much for a minister's life, but will care for him since he has got the maximum votes amongst all reality stars and reality shows reflect the real India) The heroine is a flight attendant who initially pretends to hate him, but is actually his biggest fan, who is extremely rich and got a job as an airhostess, simply to meet him. Hero fights back with small help from heroine. We can have a parachute, sky diving chase scene, rescues everyone and hands the terrorists to the police.

He sings a duet with the heroine and goes to New Zealand for his concert." We can have a fast catchy number for the concert.

To avenge their colleagues arrest, terrorists plant a bomb during his concert and blast occurs at the end of the concert.  The Hero looks at the death and destruction all around him and becomes distraught. And we go for the intermission."

Gets approving nods from BBP and SORP.

SS continues "The only survivor is a small girl holding a teddy bear who has seen the terrorist who planted the bombs. She has lost her family, and the Hero decides to take care of her and sings a bubbly kids song to cheer her up since, next day is her birthday. "

"Great that will make it a wholesome family entertainer" booms BBP.

SS continues, "The heroine is actually a painter. So she paints the picture of the terrorist, after getting the description from the girl."

BBP "Excellent! Since the heroine has a role of substance, we can get any star we need."

SS,  "Hero realises he has seen this person at a hotel and goes to the hotel, just when this guy is checking out. Here we can have a Hot Car Chase. Hero catches the guy and thrashes him and makes inquiries. The guy says his Boss is hiding in the jungles of Brazil and is planning to attack India with missiles, after getting his colleagues released. If missile concept is outdated, we can have a virus with no cure."

"Hero hands over this guy to the authorities in New Zealand. But when they say their hands are tied, they can't extradiate the terrorists, he decides to take matter in his own hands and goes to Brazil, with his girlfriend and the sweet kid with the teddybear. He explains to them, he has a facebook friend in Brazil who has herself been a victim of terror and thirsting for revenge. He arrives in a nightclub and we can have an item number by a Brazilian Babe. She agrees to help him and points out a local thug who might know the location of the terrorist. After a beach brawl with knives, the Hero finds out the exact location. And makes a plan with the Brazilian Babe. The heroine gets jealous and we can have a melody number at this point, as he tries to convince her, he loves only her.

With Brazilian Babe's help he goes into the jungle. Fights crocodiles and giant snakes. Then after a high speed boat chase with water skis etc in the Amazon river, catches all the terrorists and packs them for justice in India. The heartbroken Brazilian Babe requests him to let at least the Saccharin kid stay with her. The kid too wants to stay with the aunty, so he relents with tears and promises to visit them frequently." 

Back home he gets a hero's welcome. A TV journalist explains, "One of the terrorist captured, is the 2nd Deadliest Terrorist according to USA and now USA is begging India to have access to this terrorist." A huge cheer goes up when he lands and journalists scramble for sound bytes. A female with blond hair from CNN asks in accented Hindi "You are a celebrity. Why did you take so much risks?."

He says "When I think of my motherland, Its Duty first, even if I am a Celebrity!".

And everyone claps. Even the Reality Judge who is watching the interview at home. He stands and salutes the TV screen, and we finish with our Hero, with pumped fist in the air, shouting "Jaaaaaai        Hind" We can name it The Patriot  (A celebrity with Duty)".

SS pauses. BBP is thrilled  and hugs SS with tears in his eyes, while SORP is on the phone with someone.

BBP explains "The story sounds good, but my son is not old fashioned like me. He is running it through his Tarot Card Consultant, before okaying the Project".

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Image

We might quibble over four lakh for an air conditioner or the need for a 40 crore balloon. But next month we are going to scream for a Bharat Ratna for CW Organising Committee.

Why? Well, the committee has entered into a contract with consortium of fairness cream manufacturers, sorry marketeers. (All fairness creams are manufactured in one Chinese factory). Hmmm, I sense your horror. You think, Fairness Creams are racist products and we are a Voice Against Racism.

Well fairness creams are not racist because they don't just make you fair, they remove blemishes, dark spots, wrinkles and everything that you don't need and improve your Image.

And whats the biggest blemish one would like to remove, when it comes to the Image of India. Poverty. For those who are shouting Corruption, think what you would mind more, being Perceived Poor or being Called Corrupt?

Now you might wonder how fairness creams can eliminate poverty. Simple. From the next month, ration shops will give out a new body cream. And apart from removing blemishes, dark spots and wrinkles, increasing fairness, along with UV protection, the persons using this cream would become invisible to the cameras. Thanks to the SU4 technology and aloe vera, chandan, saffron, tulsi and other herbal ingredients. And hold your breath, the product comes in a spray form too. So we can finally make invisible the dirt, slums and whatever other things, you hate in the Indian image for the camera. So no more pictures of poor India. And when you control the image, what else is there to control?

The visitors might see the fair poor, one might argue. But we can always claim they are poor Europeans or visitors like them who have created a mess.

But no visuals. Works for the Burmese. Will work for Bharat. So there you go, beautiful images of India minus poor and their dirty stuff. For this the CW Organising Committee deserves a Nobel.

And think of the increased tourism revenues. Invisible poor Indians make India more Incredible. After all, Airbrushing is not new to the world.

Invisible Indians won't mind, they are going to get fair. They know, "A fair complexion has always been associated with success and popularity. Men and women alike desire fairness, it is believed to be the key to a successful life." Why will they reject success? If they want an incentive, those who are invisible on camera could get normal rice instead of rotten rice.

The consortium has sent crores to all the political parties, so in the name of patriotism and national unity, the political party will make an exception to their objection of this product.

The media will be overjoyed because it won't have images to make it feel responsible to report. And it will have more time to cover Rahul Mahajan's marriage. And as a bonus, they have been promised more ad revenue from fairness products.

The consortium was a bit worried about reactions from Independent Indian Bloggers. Even if they form a miniscule percentage of the population, its not right to antagonise them. After all it can affect the Image. Therefore, to encourage Indian bloggers, they have tied up with a blogsite, and will announce a contest on "How hosting CWG 2010 has Improved India's International Image".

Anyone else opposing the idea, would be termed Naxal Sympathiser or Pseudo-Patriot.

Admist the crores, the Committe won't pay even proper wage,

But who cares, as long as it doesn't affect our Image.

In this age, Reality can be dumped backstage

Image is everything and rightfully takes Center stage.

Lets varnish the common and display those with wealth,

Thats a guaranteed formula for success of Commonwealth.

A Stranger's Sweet

His heart skipped a beat,
When he saw her on the street.
He heard her friends greet
And thought, aah it would be simple and neat.

From twitter to facebook, he followed her on the virtual street.
Flattered and Praised, he easily swept her off her feet.
Eventually, she agreed to meet, that stranger from the street.
She felt with him, she would feel happy and complete.

But Alas! the Stalker had weaved a web of deceit.
His heart was just a piece of concrete.

The Creep hasn't yet beat a retreat,
He plots, hopes and yearns, for a repeat.

After all, though all know the dangers of a Stranger's Sweet
Many trust a stranger, to follow their tweets.

Single Super Mom

The one year old child wailed for attention. Multi-tasking in the kitchen, she too wanted to scream back at him.
"Your food, home,clothes and toys don't appear by magic. I have to work hard for you to have them. Yet you just take them for granted and expect me to take part in your silly games! And is it so tough to not make a mess for me to clean up? I gave birth to you, and will take care of you. Don't make the rules on how I should express my love for you!"

She shouted instead "Oh God! Why can't you, Help!"

God too wanted to scream,
"The planet, sun, gravity and wind don't appear by magic.
You make a mess by inventing money, & polluting products & think your life is tragic.
Why do you constantly for me, yelp?
Don't you realise, I have none for my help?"

Nightmare on the Dream Job

"You are going to live your dream" a friend cooed. The bride, blushed and giggled. That was exactly ten years ago.

Today, alone She stood, with the crowd, on the streets. Searching for a job, any job, since she had been kicked out of that Dream Job.

It had not been easy to accept that, after ten years of marriage, her husband was divorcing her for another woman. But her sadness turned to alarm when her lawyer shed light on the legal angles. She had been earning during the first five years of marriage. But she had used her salary for household expenditure and buying consumer durables (billed in her husband's name) for her 'home'; and her husband had saved his income and used it for buying the house in his name. She had quit her job, to help him in his business and had worked hard on that too till a year back.

Since it had flourished he had expanded and even though it had been through her help, there was nothing on paper. She had assumed that the law would recognise her efforts towards raising the family and business. But today, with a shock, she realised that the law recognises only papers which showed proof of ownership, and even if assets were purchased from her income, what mattered was only what the invoices stated, and those were in his name. She was not sure if he had intended this, but now it didn't matter. It wouldn't be easy getting a new job. No employer wanted a woman who was coming to work after 5 years and was emotionally distracted and financially unstable. She had assumed that she would get alimony and maintenance and a few assets.

But now, it seemed no hard assets and no portion of his investments, provident fund or pension would come to her. Even alimony, she realised today, was now at the judge's discretion and based on her husband's income. The law says the husband should take care of the woman's 'reasonable' needs through alimony and/or maintenance after divorce. The problem lies in defining 'reasonable'. The most she could hope for, would be one-fifth of the husband's pre-tax (roughly a third of his post-tax) income as alimony. Even though he was successful, she didn't now know how she could prove his income. All his statements went to his office and parts of his income had been turned to 'black'. Now he was even showing a loss on paper. Hindu law also provides for a reverse payment from an earning wife to the non-earning husband. Wonderful! Just what her husband needed to harass her further.

Even to claim the items she had bought from her parents on marriage, she had to prove that they were part of the 'stridhan', and she was not sure if she had sufficient proof towards it.

Even her child, she realised with a shock, was not hers. The law grants many a privilege to the father. For her husband, their daughter was just another pawn to be used against her. She had been about to make a settlement when he had promised that he would buy a land in their daughter's name for her future. Thankfully she had consulted a lawyer on second thought. The husband, as the natural guardian of the child, would have continued to have final say on the property. So, he was actually giving her nothing at all. It wouldn't have mattered if he had bought a land for their daughter. Tears flowed from her eyes as she remembered her daughter. Today she was confused, yet clinging to her father, since he had showered her with expensive gifts.

And she thought of her own mother. The same mother who in her childhood, was the symbol of security, now seemed a helpless ragged doll with sad eyes.After visiting the lawyer she had met her parents, but what could they do now? They were dependent on her brother, and her brother could express only sympathy not support. He had his own family to look after. And similarly with her friends.

She had swallowed her pride, gone back to the husband and refused the divorce. He simply raped her, and laughed at her, on his way out. Marital rape wasn't a crime according to her lawyer. And one pending divorce, had a punishment lesser than the other rapes.

Suddenly the crowd gathered around a journalist, who was asking the women if they felt outraged, with housewives being grouped with Commercial Sex Workers, Prisoners and Beggars, in the 2001 Census. The crowd grew shrill. Everyone lamented, then they moved on.

I feel worse than a commercial sex worker, she thought, with none existing to question my rape. And atleast the prisoners have a cell, I or my mother, don't have even a corner in our houses, to call our own. I am just like a beggar she thought bitterly, begging for mercy from family and friends. Just better dressed, at this moment.

She wanted to go after the journalist, grab the mike and shout at the camera. "Stop this hypocrisy. Just by putting us in a different group in the Census, doesn't mean a thing. Why did you wake up to this only now? If you care, change the laws, change the system. And fight till the end."

But she didn't. The pangs of hunger were louder than the pains of soul.

Taking a deep breath, she moved on, in her quest for a new job. Any job which paid, would be a dream job.

Later she came across a wedding party. She volunteered to work, if they would atleast give a meal.

Finally she was stepping out of her nightmare,

Silently she blessed, the married pair.

The bride was laughing, with dreams in her eyes

For none had told her, Dreams were Lies.

A Submission for Blogadda's Dream Job Contest. Wanted to write about Research Psychologist but when equated with Prostitutes Prisoners and Beggars, in the Census 2001, felt compelled, to write this story.

This post has been choosen as one of the winning entries. Thank you Blogadda! Needless to say winning is beautiful, but nothing would be more beautiful than to have laws which are fair and which reflect our values. 

Where are our values, when we don't value her..

Sugar Swami and the Hand that Feeds

She heard her brother advise her son "Yes, target the anxious mothers, who are being constantly told by everyone around them, their child is too thin. If you sell to them, with couple of mumbo jumbo phrases, and assure them, thats enough for their child, it would be an instant hit. Of course for the child to take it, the main ingredient has to be sugar."

Her son added "I think if I say I have added a herbal component, it would be more easier."
Her brother gushed "Brilliant! You are smart my boy!"

She rushed in, and screamed at her brother, "I told you to advise him on career choices and you want him to become a Godman! The media will ridicule him as Sugar Swami and roast him!"

Both burst into laughter. Between his laughter her son said "No ma, the media will not roast me, after all, I will be one of the hands that feeds them."

Her brother cleared her confusion by clarifying "He is not going to be a Godman, just an Entrepreneur, marketing a new beverage for children."

Grudgingly she said "India is the diabetes capital of the world, you are not helping anyone by making the kids have more sugar"

Ignoring her, her son said "In our ads, we should claim it tastes so good, the child will come after you for it, and will lie or steal to have it. That should please the parents..".

Predictor Paul

The World Cup might be end of the road for many players and coaches but could kickstart a new career for Paul the Octopus. And while he might make millions choosing between Pepsi and Coke, there are other interesting avenues open for him.

1.Adult Entertainment.
Well if people can google donkey sex (and arrive on my post on Sex life goes up in Smoke), won't similar people be interested in octopus sex. (Even if Octopus is a British slang for a sexually importunate man).

2.Peace by Piece.
If Paul could pick up the winner of a match, why not the owner of land. Simply start with a map and 2 flags. Middle East Conflict? Resolved! And no prizes for guessing the winner of next year's Nobel Peace Prize.

3.BP Consultant.
Pipes,ROVs, Top Kill, Super Skimmer, Top Hat 10 .. Oh please Paul Pick up the strategy that will work.

4.Godman.
Become a partner with any Godman in India, be a Private Psychic to Politicians and Stars, get a temple and a huge devotee following. What else would it want. Market an Octodollar that will bring luck and forget millions, Paul could be a billionaire.
Oh wait. There is a Godman who claims his soul went into Paul's body, because he was in Himalayas during the World Cup.

5.Expert commentator on TV.
A Predictor among the Predictable Crowd ,it would be interesting and a huge relief (one less shrill voice on TV), even if its not as lucrative as other options.

6.Reality Show Judge.
Replacement for Simon on American Idol? Thats a boring option. The interesting one would be Paul's Pathi-Patni. Tie up with NDTV Imagine to pick the winner in each round of its next Swayamvar. A Pathi or a Patni decided by Psychic Paul, which celebrity will say no to it?

7.Social Networking
Netizens bored with facebook, twitter and foursquare can pester their friends and strangers, by sending out invites to join them in Octreach. Tweets would be out, Squirts would be in.

Well I can forget other options. Heard the Breaking News on Twitter (where else). Modi is back as IPL Incharge in alliance with Paul. And since BCCI will be making millions by auctioning Paul's services (Team/Strategy Selector) amongst the IPL Teams, they have forgiven Modi for his technical mistakes. Oh well, guess its a smart move. If Paul Predicted the winner of IPL 3, who will watch the matches, and what will we do with our lives.

Ash Tweets aur Bollywood

Thanks Blogadda!

SORP, (Son of Rich Producer) wants a different contemporary script for his debut. He has 3 choices.

1.Romantic - Assh aur Ishq
Poor boy works as a pizza delivery boy. Meets rich girl when he delivers her a pizza while she is dancing in her swimming pool. (Bikini Babes song.)
Gives bashan on Culture and they fall in love after couple of more squabbles. The contemporary touch. They follow each other on twitter and he learns she loves him through her tweets. (Dream Duet in Switzerland, France and New Zealand)
Determined to impress his inlaws comes up with new pizza flavour. Company sends him to Italian HO.(Sentimental missing you song).
Meets goras who are impressed with his work. The next day he will meet the CEO. Rich girl calls. Papa plans to get her married to his partner's son. Decides to skip his meeting with CEO and arrives at airport.
Flights cancelled due to volacanic ash from Iceland.
Popcorn-Paracetamol break.

Visits discotheque to drown in sorrow. Fast number by a blondie. Later rescues blondie from goons. She falls in love with him. Rich Papa calls. Rich girl has been abducted to Greece by his partner because she tried to escape from wedding. Inspite of all his wealth, he can't do anything about it because all flights are cancelled and his partner has his jet. Can SORP get his girl back with honour?

Blondie gets him a yacht by seducing a rich customer of hers. He sails to Greece. Swims to a beach house. Instead of dobermans, this house is guarded by sharks. He fights sharks and couple of octopuses too and then the goons. The next day, His mother arrives with the Rich Family for a wedding in Greece. Evil Partner appears again and tries to stop the wedding. His mother confronts him. The Evil Partner is actually his Father who abandoned them to marry a rich girl.

After few sentimental dialogues, Father unites with Mother, SORP marries Rich Girl.

The CEO arrives in Greece to bless the couple and offers him a position in Italy. He prefers to be the Incharge of Indian Operations.


2. Thriller - K-Ash.
Prime Minister requests SORP a secret agent to find a diamond on which an eccentric scientist has engraved a missile technology blueprint before being killed. The diamond has been stolen by a jewel thief who mocks the police by Tweeting from a new location everyday. SORP visits a discotheque for inspiration. (Skimpy girls song). SORP cracks the code and decides to go to London.
Squabbles with Miniskirt Heroine on plane and misses their connecting flight in Switzerland. And they fight more and fall in love. Duet song shot in Switzerland, Austria and Italy.
Confides his secret to her. Next day he realises his cover has been blown because she is a tv reporter & has done a story on the diamond & tweet thief. He delivers a lengthy dialogue on love and betrayal to her. She cries and repents and puts on her specs (Looking intellectual and serious style). The thief stops tweeTing.
Popcorn-Paracetamol break.

Hounded by press he goes to London, gives lengthy dialogue on irresponsible journalism to BBC. The interview ends with emphatatic BBC reporter asking in an
accent. "Ab tweet thief ko pakadenge kaise?" Later that night, he gets into a helicopter, flies to Iceland, parachutes down to a volcano and drops a grenade into the volcano. It erupts. He runs and escapes in a jeep and then sails to Belgium. The tweet thief is stranded in airport the next day. Mini Skirt Heroine, removes her specs and pretends to be a rich heiress and tweets @ tweet thief to buy the diamond. Tweethief asks her to meet him in Belgium. She drives from Switzerland to Belgium. But before she can get the diamond, another guy kills tweet thief, steals diamond. She clicks his pic &
mmses it to SORP. SORP grimances. The guy in MMS is an Old enemy, an Alqaeda operative. But even the Al Qaeda guy can't escape by air so escapes by car. SORP arrives in Belgium and with Ms Miniskirt chase the guy all over Europe. After a car chase, ski chase and a helicopter chase, catches the Al Qaeda agent, gets the diamond and drags the guy back to India for justice, even though he wants to kill him for killing SORP's parents.

She quits her career and becomes his wife and attend a private dinner in White House. They are appreciated and awarded by US President. If Al Qaeda had got the code, USA could have been wiped off. Offers him a position in CIA. But he refuses and comes back to work for India.


3. Family Entertainer - Ash mein Dash
3 Brothers. Anil Kapoor, Akshay Kumar and SORP live with their mother in a dairy farm in Switzerland.
Meets 3 girls through Twitter. 4 songs, 2 clashes, 4 slapstick comedies and 5 fights later, their mother is bitten by a rare snake.
Popcorn-Paracetamol break.
Only a herb from Iceland applied with 10 hours can save her. Akshay Kumar and SORP go to Iceland and get the herb but the volcanno erupts and flights are cancelled. They glide in the Ash from Iceland to Switzerland and save their mother at the last minute. And defeats the plan of their evil uncle who had tried to kill their mother to get their dairy farm. Uncle repents and begs for forgiveness and gives his daughter to SORP.

So which script did SORP choose. You will know this Diwali..

Killing Casteism

He came home to find his mother mentioning their caste to a stranger filling a form.

"Ma! I told you to tell we are Indians!" he screamed.

His mother clarified, "But this is for your matrimonial ad not the census."

"But Shaadi before Naukri?" he asked.

His mother took him aside and said smugly, "Your uncle has arranged it. He knows the Sales VP of the company, you wanted to work in. He is from our community. And the VP has said, if its a good boy, we will adjust the criteria.."

They were interrupted with the question "Madam, should I mention "sub-sect no bar?"". The mother and son looked at one another, then he replied "Why waste money over it. Don't mention it".

Wedding Jewellery

She agreed to the wedding, after falling in love with the wedding jewellery.
He agreed to the marry her, after knowing the worth of the wedding jewellery.

Centuries haven't changed the cliches..

Wedding might be a grand party, but Marriage requires love and commitment from both parties. Give it some respect.

Tweets and Thoughts of a TweeTwin Addict

Tweetaroor has resigned. Why didn't he tweet his resignation??

Tweetodi will Sue papers, why isn't Sue suing anyone?

Sue to appear in Ekta's Kwitter nahi - Kahani ek Khel Ki! Did Ekta tweet it?

Sue to appear in a different reaility show. Big Boss???

Nationalise IPL! Lalooji, will you nationalise Twitter also?

Will govt appoint a commission on Modi and IPL? What a waste of money, a vague report after 40 years!

TweeT20 could be Tweetodi's New Big IDEA. That will be the Original Oongli Cricket.

Will he allow his TweeTwin to plan or will it be like ICL-IPL?

Did the IT and ED and Media wake up to IPL only after the Tweetussle? Wow thats "an Tweet-Effect"

Just because you bring in the money

He rang the bell at home, thinking angrily"The Marketing VP thinks Accounts people are just a bunch of lazy idiots who have nothing to do! When will She understand we are the foundation which supports the company! How can our time and work mean nothing to Her! Is it so tough to show some respect to us! Just because marketing brings in the money, shouldn't mean she can be insensitive to us... "

He rang the bell sharply for the second time as his wife opened the door. He snatched the remote, flopped on the sofa and yelled at her for making him wait at the door, when he had had, a bad day at work.."

She began "Actually.."

He screamed, "I can't believe this! You waste your time the whole day at home, and still don't get satisfied until you irritate me with your attitude and housekeeping excuses.."

Celebrating Rain

Friends18.com
Her boyfriend opened the door with a big grin. "My Rain poem won the Prize!"

She squealed with delight and hugged..

Later she said "ummmm can you smell it? The scent of first rain..Lets get drenched and celebrate.."

He rushed to close the windows and said, "Don't be idiotic. The best way to celebrate rain is to have hot tea and samosas."

After the Sex

Unaware of the opening door, she murmured "That was the best sex ever". Her friend cuddled closer and said "Why didn't we do it earlier?"

He switched on the light shrieked when he saw them and closed the door behind him. Trembling he said "Twwoo of themmm".

His wife sleepily cursed "Damn cockroaches"

In the name of God

The handsome travelling salesman conducted his business quickly and quitely and waited for his only friend in that town.

The town had changed within a month. His regular shopkeeper had asked with hostility "Whats your religion, you have an odd name". "I am an orphan and simply ket the name I fancied." he had explained. And asked the shopkeeper the reason, for the question on religion.

"Few nights ago, someone wrote an obscene graffiti on my place of worship. We demanded the other community find and punish the offender. They agreed as an eyewash. The next day it was on Their place of worship, and they claimed tit for tat..We argued they were hiding the fact. Bad things have since happened. Everything and everyone is viewed with suspicion and even small things triggers threats and tension." The shopkeeper had said.

He was soon joined by his friend. Over tea, in a no more neutral territory, they discussed the recent tragedy.

Amazingly his friend didn't seem upset, and joked about the suspect.

"They can't protect their Gods, yet fight each other in the name of God", he laughed. "If there is a God" the salesman injected.

Punching him lightly, his friend delivered the knockout punch. "Oh there is no God, I agree with your thought, otherwise I would have been caught".

Stunned, the Salesman heard his friend say "The book you gave is smart and true. Now, I am also an atheist like you".

The salesman stared at his friend in horror and with dismay "Absence of belief in God, doesn't mean absence of morals and values! You are a sick sadist, not an atheist! The book can be your excuse not your reason!"." I am sorry but I have to tell everyone the truth."

His friend laughed "When they learn you gave me the book, they would dissect your theory or you?".

Distraut, the salesman paid his bill and left quietly, unable to accept, there could be criminals amongst, (or claiming to be) atheists too.

He wondered if he could tip off the town annonymously. But couldn't decide what would be worse. His friend saying he did it in the name of atheism and destroying the reputation of atheists. Or his friend keeping quite about his religious beliefs, to get protection from those who believed, he believed in their God..

PS : Atheists, before you protest, please note:
1.Someone from some group had to be the bad guy. You are the only group that has presence in all groups and smart enough to not hold it against me or my group.
2.The Real Atheist was Handsome and Smart.
3.Female Atheists : There were only 2 characters. If I had cast you in either one, I would have been in more trouble. And if I had made both female, the discussion would have been distracted by, are they lesbians theory.

Maybe but Move On

Maybe if Rahul got his people to live, for a day, in the Carbide Contamination,
Maybe if Modi disbursed the Unclaimed Crore, to Casualties as Compensation,
Maybe if the other Modi, creates Bhopal Badshahs, and its owned by Ranbir Sensation,
Maybe if Osama bin Laden, claimed, Carbide was his first operation,

Maybe, Maybe, The Victims of the Gas Tragedy would get more attention.
But more attention is meaningless, without some positive action.
There will probably be no extradiction. Let there be atleast more monetary compensation.

Maybe I live in denial and dreams,
Posting a token, to vent off my steam.
But worse than being killed and maimed by a gas
Is to be treated with apathy by the (patriotic), mass.

Tough to accept, an Indian life is worth more than the American Cough?
Move on, since you are unprivileged Indian, life will be Tough??

PS :
I am late by a week, but thats negligible compared to 1300 weeks.

Twenty-five years ago, Union Carbide's factory in Bhopal spat out 40 tons of aerial poison in the form of methyl isocyanate, killing nearly 4,000 immediately and some 15,000 since then.

The victims of the tragedy received a flat sum of a mere Rs 25,000 by way of compensation, compared to the Uphar cinema fire in Delhi whose victims received Rs 18 lakhs each.