Dec 23, 2009
He switched on the light shrieked when he saw them and closed the door behind him. Trembling he said "Twwoo of themmm".
His wife sleepily cursed "Damn cockroaches"
Dec 21, 2009
The town had changed within a month. His regular shopkeeper had asked with hostility "Whats your religion, you have an odd name". "I am an orphan and simply ket the name I fancied." he had explained. And asked the shopkeeper the reason, for the question on religion.
"Few nights ago, someone wrote an obscene graffiti on my place of worship. We demanded the other community find and punish the offender. They agreed as an eyewash. The next day it was on Their place of worship, and they claimed tit for tat..We argued they were hiding the fact. Bad things have since happened. Everything and everyone is viewed with suspicion and even small things triggers threats and tension." The shopkeeper had said.
He was soon joined by his friend. Over tea, in a no more neutral territory, they discussed the recent tragedy.
Amazingly his friend didn't seem upset, and joked about the suspect.
"They can't protect their Gods, yet fight each other in the name of God", he laughed. "If there is a God" the salesman injected.
Punching him lightly, his friend delivered the knockout punch. "Oh there is no God, I agree with your thought, otherwise I would have been caught".
Stunned, the Salesman heard his friend say "The book you gave is smart and true. Now, I am also an atheist like you".
The salesman stared at his friend in horror and with dismay "Absence of belief in God, doesn't mean absence of morals and values! You are a sick sadist, not an atheist! The book can be your excuse not your reason!"." I am sorry but I have to tell everyone the truth."
His friend laughed "When they learn you gave me the book, they would dissect your theory or you?".
Distraut, the salesman paid his bill and left quietly, unable to accept, there could be criminals amongst, (or claiming to be) atheists too.
He wondered if he could tip off the town annonymously. But couldn't decide what would be worse. His friend saying he did it in the name of atheism and destroying the reputation of atheists. Or his friend keeping quite about his religious beliefs, to get protection from those who believed, he believed in their God..
PS : Atheists, before you protest, please note:
1.Someone from some group had to be the bad guy. You are the only group that has presence in all groups and smart enough to not hold it against me or my group.
2.The Real Atheist was Handsome and Smart.
3.Female Atheists : There were only 2 characters. If I had cast you in either one, I would have been in more trouble. And if I had made both female, the discussion would have been distracted by, are they lesbians theory.
Dec 8, 2009
Maybe if Modi disbursed the Unclaimed Crore, to Casualties as Compensation,
Maybe if the other Modi, creates Bhopal Badshahs, and its owned by Ranbir Sensation,
Maybe if Osama bin Laden, claimed, Carbide was his first operation,
Maybe, Maybe, The Victims of the Gas Tragedy would get more attention.
But more attention is meaningless, without some positive action.
There will probably be no extradiction. Let there be atleast more monetary compensation.
Maybe I live in denial and dreams,
Posting a token, to vent off my steam.
But worse than being killed and maimed by a gas
Is to be treated with apathy by the (patriotic), mass.
Tough to accept, an Indian life is worth more than the American Cough?
Move on, since you are unprivileged Indian, life will be Tough??
I am late by a week, but thats negligible compared to 1300 weeks.
Twenty-five years ago, Union Carbide's factory in Bhopal spat out 40 tons of aerial poison in the form of methyl isocyanate, killing nearly 4,000 immediately and some 15,000 since then.
The victims of the tragedy received a flat sum of a mere Rs 25,000 by way of compensation, compared to the Uphar cinema fire in Delhi whose victims received Rs 18 lakhs each.
Dec 7, 2009
Dec 6, 2009
She remembered how her husband had mocked her because her precious plant that she had tended so lovingly, had died just after it bore fruits. "It needs the sun's rays and water. You have to select the place where it is to be planted carefully", he had told her before uprooting it that evening. "He threw it away as though it was a weed", she thought angrily. She had to hide her tears as she didn't want to be a laughing stock. No one understood her feelings. She couldn't explain the joy she had experienced when she saw a small plant bearing fruits, in her uncle's garden. When she had asked him for its seed, her uncle, maybe out of politeness, had not mentioned about the essential things required to grow a plant.
The baby kicked once again. "But the seed could still be there inside the fruits of the dead plant and it may grow", she thought suddenly excited. And if she were to plant it, this was the right time. All of a sudden, she was full of energy. "I will sow the seed and the plant will grow and bear fruits", she said to herself.
It seemed like an eternity when she finally walked out of her house, careful to not wake others. The plant was lying at the place where her husband had thrown it that evening. She plucked the fruit and placed it a little farther from where the plant had been earlier and covered it with soil. She was about to go inside when the moon shone on the roots of the plant.
"Roots. That's how women should be", her grandmother had told her when she was a child. "Unseen, unnoticed but still support the family, said her grandmother. "And never appreciated", her mother had retorted softly.
She stared at the roots. "Beauty lies in the purpose for which it was created", she thought. She gently touched them. It was very true. She had grown the plant only for its flowers and fruits, and not for the roots. And yet what was a plant without the roots? But again, what is the value of the root if the plant doesn't give fruits, flowers or leaves, which can be of use to mankind? She knew that some roots could be eaten, but she still felt depressed. "If it is of no use, it will be considered a weed and uprooted," she thought. She shook her head. She must go in. Yet in the moonlight the roots looked enchantingly beautiful. "What about the forest? No one has planted the trees and plants there carefully! Yet they grow", she mumbled under her breath. "Yes, I will ask my husband this question", she thought. But deep inside, she knew he was right. The plant had died because it didn't get sufficient sunlight, water, soil and perhaps those fertilizers. "Maybe many plants die in the forest too this way. And as it is vast, no one notices or cares for it." She nodded. Not just in life, but even in death, the place of your birth is important.
She got up. She looked at the moon. "I shall see you with my baby, when you shine as a full moon", she said softly, and went inside.
A week later the full moon shone on her house. It shone on the small newborn baby that was crying for its mother. The mother who was not there. One among every thirteen women in developing countries die during pregnancy or childbirth due to complications. And she was one of those unlucky ones. If she had been in a developed country, she would have been one in four thousand and one hundred!
We don't even know her name because it's a jungle out there. So, she will remain just a number in the UNICEF statistics Every Day, Every Minute a woman dies while giving birth.
Does it take a minute to read this? And has yet another woman died somewhere - unknown, unseen and unheard?
The seed she had planted may develop roots, but what are its chances of survival?
This is my first writing. I had just read the UNICEF statistic, was outraged, and was sulking when my spouse said, if I wrote about this cause to a local newspaper, I wouldn't win a pen it offered.
The next day I came across, the Sify Short Story Competition. The Theme : Roots. In anger within few minutes actually, wrote the story and sent it.
It won. And got the editor's attention and I started writing a series of Short Stories with Legal Angle. (Paid)
I hadn't written because I wanted to win. I genuinely believed, the world would change, if people knew this happened. I have come a long way in 7 years. I don't believe things would change so easily but I refuse to believe nothing can improve.
Republishing it, since its probably in the internet dust of the copyright owner.
Dec 5, 2009
Scares me with the "staring abyss", away from which I want to Walk.
Walk I would, but my memory cements those dark velvety churns..
Churns control me, I float, drift or perhaps, walk in a quicksand..
Sandwhiched between self loathe and rage.
Raging for retribution, as I am roasted by a fury from within,
Within also flickers a flame of hope,that I would respond and not react.
Act only because I want. Prove its just I won't, not I can't.
Can't yet climb back on the pedestal, without a final kick..
Kicking hard to get the slush off, from my mind and feet.
An email I received.
"We are honored and privileged to present you with the Nigierian Noble. Each Category gets you 10000 USD.
My father, a Nigerian nobleman, left Nigeria few decades back and settled in USA. He became Uber Rich by investing (and getting out at the right time) in the Internet. Known as the the Nigerian Noble in the financial circles, he decided, his legacy should be a prize which would one day be as coveted as the Nobel.
He decided to award blogs, to empower the New Net Era. We have therefore introduced the Nigerian Noble in 4 categories. Since my father was a shy yet powerful man, he decided these categories, would be dedicated to the Vice Presidents of USA.
A blog has to have Purpose and Intelligence. While browsing through your posts, we were stunned by your answers to the question Do I Look Fat?. This question had stumped every Philosopher, Counsellor and Agony Aunt, till now. Congratulations! This post has won you the Dan Quale Quest Award.
A blog has to be Powerful, and create an impact. (Otherwise it would be merely words). Your post Not Psycho a Psychologist , has become a mantra and a rallying cry of almost every Mental Health Care Professional. If they are treated with respect, and dignity, its definitely due to your post. Hence please also accept the Al Gore Power Award
Intelligence and Power are meaningless in Humans without Compassion. Bollywood has conquered not just the Oscars. The Nigerian Noble Jury too were moved by your post Divine Justice Bollywood style - Kompassion ya Kruelty. We hope you will be kind enough to accept Dick Cheney Compassion Award.
Intelligence, Power, Compassion, are wasted in the blogworld if the post does not have brevity. After all, almost every reader is a blogger, who reads and comments, in the hope you would return the favor. And to maximise the results in minimum time, bloggers seek a post that is brief, concise and to the point. Your post Thankfully I am not a Celebrity achieved the impossible. Please honor us by accepting the Joe Biden Brevity Award.
In the history of Nigerian Noble, this is the first time, a blogger has won all the 4 awards. We have now instituted a new Category, Super Blogger Award. Please also accept 5000 USD with this award.
As a tribute to the New Net Era, you can accept this award over the internet and display it on the blog, if you agree to accept it.
In the past, winners had blown away the prize money within a year, given up blogging, and taken to booze. And the Prudent US Corporates had blown it away, faster. Therefore your award money USD 45000 has been used to purchase an Annuity from a Careful Chinese Corporate and you will get your annuity from your next birthday, throughout your lifetime.
Unfortunately the New Net Era enables pirated Awards which takes away your Exclusivity. To cover the legal costs of going after these, Pirates of the Blogworld, we require an advance of 1000USD from you. If you are interested, and willing to Accept the Awards, reply with the subjectline Thankyou Thank you Thank you, to us with your date of birth (to receive your Annuity).
With Regards and Respects
The Simple Son of a Nigerian Noble."
Of course I sent the 1000 USD. Why would I deny my blog, what it deserves. I got an .exe file, the 5 awards and an offer to accept or nominate another blog for "Clinton Conscience Award" "Bush Bravery Award" and "Obama Well Deserved Award". with prize money of USD 25000 for each. (Legal fees 100 USD, each), in honor of his Mother, the Primary Power. If you are interested let me know. I am not the greedy kind, 5 awards are enough for me.
If you are interested let me know. I am not the greedy kind, 5 awards are enough for me.
Dec 2, 2009
The condom industry was first to jump on the Fourth Finger bandwagon. Tired of having customers who want to buy the product but feeling too shy to ask for it, it decided the fourth finger would be the universal symbol for "Sell me a condom".
The pharmaceutical industry meanwhile pushed down the research on curing malaria even further and have decided to allocate billions to helping the fourth finger grow. They feel this could be bigger than Viagra since men would want to flaunt their playboy status. Balding men need not fear, the cure for baldness has higher priority than the cure for short fourth finger.
Following the pharmaceutical industry, without waiting for any research, the teleshopping network is going to launch few new products which would lengthen your fourth finger. So while you lose your weight while watching TV and eating potato chips, by wearing a belt, lengthen your fourth finger too, by wearing a new ring and announce to the world you are a Playboy. If you are pregnant, there is a tea which can increase your child's fourth finger. Fear not, if its a girl, the tea would automatically shorten the fourth finger.
(Yawn) Do I have to mention Fotox has replaced Botox as the must do in Celebs list. And now its not just hair extensions and nail extensions, but also finger extensions...Magazines which went bust due to recession are repositioning and relaunching themselves. Their target audience, rich, glamorous people with longer fourth finger. (Their actual readers, people who want to be rich and glamorous with longer fourth finger.) Meanwhile Indian newspapers are rubbing their hands in glee. Now the matrimonial ads would get longer. Instead of seeking Fair, homely, professional brides, Indian men would search for Fair, homely professional girls with shorter fourth finger. And matrimonial websites would now have a new segment to target their fairytale ads.
Its absolutely wonderful news for the Indian gynecologists and quacks who profit from female foeticide. Now even parents who were willing to have a girl, would be scared into aborting their girl if she has a longer fourth finger. After all who would marry a playgirl? And wouldn't she be a stigma to the family name and a financial burden. Of course this would mean fewer women for Indian men to marry.
But thats where the astro-jewellers jump in. Wearing a rare jade would get you married. And if the couple wear an emerald stone, they would not get a child with longer fourth finger. (If they want a boy with longer fourth finger, you will have to wear a ruby stone). And if the bridegroom is gifted with a platinum ring during marriage, he would remain a loyal, husband (irrespective of the length of the fourth finger.) And a diamond collection is going to be launched for the new Independent Indian woman, which will also prevent her from falling for the charms (and evil designs) of the men with a longer fourth finger.
Telemarketers are now back with a new range of Edgy Credit Cards. Blue cards for those with longer fourth finger and green cards for those with longer forefinger. This will be followed by new cars, deos, and mobiles for people with longer or shorter fourth finger. A forgotten Filmstar has now decided to start a NGO dedicated to those with shorter fourth finger, unlike him. His PRO has confirmed the "has been celeb" has a moving speech on the "under privileged".
Some organisation has decided that the condom industry's move is commercial, exploitative, absolutely obscene, and against our culture and plans to attack people who buy or sell condoms via the finger signal. But thats not the reason why we haven't been hit by the fourth finger blitz.
You see, the banks and other major corporates want to suck out more billions from their governments, before coming out of recession. Experts say the cat would be out of the bag by 2012, when Dick Cheney - Sarah Palin would win the election of bankrupt USA. An auspicious year according to Chinese Calender.
Nov 19, 2009
The mother-daughter duo, started working, under the hot sun.
The 10 year old girl, gawked around. causing her mom distress,
She was, told,ignore the food and drink, just help me clean the mess.
Later, their Masters offered to the girl, a cool drink, as a tip..
But her mother snatched it from her, before it reached her lip.
As she went home carried by her tired feet
She wished they didn't have to plan, When to drink and eat
But she shared her bathroom with 180 feet
So didn't dare to sip water, even in the scorching heat.
Their Masters might offer them something to drink or eat
But definitely wouldn't let her use, their toilet seat.
Nov 18, 2009
So perhaps its time, you let go of the strangers who are on your friends list or the snoopy colleague at work. While its agonising to be unfriended, (Divine Justice - Bollywood style ) it not easy fending off the unfriended, when they confront us and ask for the reason. Well, look around you, and get inspired. Here are some responses you could use :-
1. Did I unfriend you? I know I shouldn't have. Let me check and respond. (Mayawati to Supreme Court on Memorial, style)
2. I value your friendship. But my family needs me more. And Family comes First. (Sachin style)
3. I just needed (your) attention. (Sena style)
4. Claim "Its against internet's culture to ask the reason for being unfriended " Then get violent and send virulent viruses and claim you did it because your cultural sensibilities were affected. (MNS style)
5. Everyone is doing it. Don't focus on just me. (Yedurappa's 1.7 crore renovation expenses style)
6. I want to spend the time, I spent on your friendship, helping the poor and needy. (Manu Sharma's give me Parole style)
7. I didn't unfriend you. Some virus did it. (Koda denial style)
8. Its just the beginning. I have asked all my friends to unfriend you. Lets see who ends up with how many friends. Its going to be an unfriendly unfriending war for friendship. (Ambani brothers style)
9. Hide and let someone else explain it for you. (Osama style)
10. Lol ! You thought I care about your feelings! (Rajapakse style)
11. We can, (pause) have a great and meaningful, (long pause) offline relationship, (longer pause) only if I unfriend you, (longest pause) first. (Obama on Tibet style)
2. I know how you feel. It hurts awfully. Its only one for you. I was unfriended by 7 people today. (Pakistan on terrorism in India style)
13. See for a better life, you need to unfriend and declutter your life. I was helping you kickstart the process. Unfriend everyone else, then don't forget to be grateful to me for it. (US enabling Iraq style)
14. Let me give you 3 email ids. They can be your friends instead of me. (Just don't target us, US to Pakistan style)
15. Of course I know you don't deserve it. But I am the member of Nobel Committee on Increasing Internet Friendship...
Nov 15, 2009
There is a simple reason for people feeling sick on Monday. It isn't due to the work, but due to the absence of play. Yes, its not due to unreasonable targets fixed by the (knowledgeable and esteemed) management. But by a single universal question asked by colleagues to one another on Monday Mornings "How was your weekend?"
The answer is of course "Slept, Ate, Watched TV. In different order. And possibly also, cooked, cribbed, washed, cleaned house, watched porn, exchanged forwards and blogged. For those with kids it would include "Slept little, Ate something, Fed kids, Watched whatever the kids were watching , yelled at the kids and did their homework". For the social types it would be "Met the same boring people, ate, and cribbed about everything".
Since we have to appear cool, its not easy to spout these truths. And when we are not creative enough to think of cool lies, we feel sick and suffer from the Moanday Morning Syndrome.
If you suffer from this syndrome, and have exhausted your sick leave, here are few tips on how to manage it.
1. Ask the question before its asked. And appear bored with the answer. The colleague becomes defensive and moves away. Attack is better than defense, even if it means spreading the syndrome.
2. Announce you are an Art Collector who collects toothbrushes of famous people during the weekends. Bring a toothbrush every Monday and display it on your table and claim it belongs to some celebrity. You will be glamorous because you hang out with stars, yet people wouldn't want to talk too much about toothbrushes. (If you don't know the details of the celeb, mention sometimes you have to deal with dealers). (For the persistent, mention you also collect armpit hairs.)
3. Say you were Skydiving from a Sky Scrapper. And ask your colleagues if they would like to join you next week.
4. Read the reviews and pretend to have watched the latest movie. If it invites more questions, explain the movie was intellectually demeaning, and so you dozed. To make it more interesting, mention you sat next to some Reality TV star.
5. What can be sexier than sex? If you are single, hint you are having an affair with a celebrity.
6. Mention you are a member of some MLM (Multi Level Marketing) concept. And start discussing the products and schemes. Its not cool, but you will be left alone.
7. Reply you were re-reading Alchemist or Fountainhead or Monk who sold his Ferrari or Jonanthan Livingston Seagull. And each time mention "I was reading about it from a philosophical/ socio-economic/ emotional/ ethical/ historical/ contemporary... perspective". Or mention you were reading War and Peace. (Its lengthy so you can get away with it for couple of years). Or better claim you are writing your own book which will be an amalgamation of the concepts in these books.
8. Think creatively like the Hindi News Channels. Mention, you were busy waiting for a flying saucer to fly or in a long queue to consult a Tarot Reader. Or you were holidaying in some haunted house.
9. Imply if you hate to be caught in a lie. Tell the truth with a mysterious smile and a mischievous wink. Throw in a knowing look with a Maaay BBe and Juusssssst.
10. Claim you have joined MNS and were working for it .(Online if you are not in Maharashtra). It may not be cool but colleagues will leave you alone and if they come up with any cool activities you can label it as "against our culture values" and quieten even them.
11. Announce you are an Artist. Say your Art is Conceptual and Context-Intellectual and Anti-Commercial. Point out Van Gogh didn't sell a painting during his lifetime. If colleagues persist, stick couple of dead cockroaches on a paper and keep it on your desk. Or mention you work with nude models, who trust you to keep their paintings private, since they are celebrities.
12. If nothing works, say "Working, of course". Its not cool, but atleast makes the colleague feel guilty. And say it louder if the Boss is around.
Whatever you say, never admit you blog. Your colleagues will google out your blog and you will have to write safe boring blogs, which will drive away your regular readers. And if there is anything worse than you suffering the Moanday Morning Syndrome its your blog suffering from UnCommented Content Syndrome.
Nov 14, 2009
Perhaps we should celebrate Sonia's Birthday as Bahu Day.. (Sorry Ekta Kapoor you still have Saas Day)..
Since Balasaheb seems to know more about Indian culture, should we celebrate Culture Day on his birthday? (Kareena's bareback poster irks Sena activists)
Nov 12, 2009
Not due to the poor quality bullet proof vest provided to the ATS chief, Hemant Karkare.
Not due to the 4000 Crores Koda loot.
Not due to a Japanese Rape game, where you get points for raping a woman and her teenage daughters..
Yeah you got it right, India dropped to 3rd place in ODI rankings. And Dhoni spotted partying after loss!
Lets sack Dhoni. We need accountability in this country.
PS : Since we are ahead of Pakistan, you don't have to rush out on the streets to start a revolution.
PPS : Congress is outraged at the Forbes Powerful People List, for including Manmohan and excluding Sonia Gandhi.
And MNS is outraged because the list wasn't in Marathi..
Nov 5, 2009
Nov 3, 2009
Dedicated to those who couldn't comprehend my Previous Post.
God : Amitabh Bachan
New Angel : Saif Ali Khan
New Angel's GF : Kareena Kapoor
Item Girls : Rakhi Sawant and Mallika Sherawat.
Kribber : SoRP (Son of Rich Producer)
Kribber's girlfriend : Ms.Skimpy (Who will reveal if the role demands it)
Aargh Angel : Shahrukh Khan (in Special Appearance)
Voice of Amitabh as the titles role..
"In the eyes of God all are equal. Unfortunately, when it comes to Justice, I get a bad name, because I treat all your problems and prayers as equals. You wonder why there is hunger in the world. Yet, pray to God, for your Pizza boy to deliver, faster.. "
Scene 1 : Bar of a Five Star Hotel with a Stage.
Mallika Sherawat is dancing on the stage. SoRP is enjoying the song, when he checks his mobile. He sees the message and becomes gloomy and drinks heavily, mumbling to God about Insaaf..
Saif Ali Khan enters and sits next to SoRP, gives him another glass and says "Dude whats your problem. Can I help?"
Cut to Amitabh peering at earth from the clouds.
Shahrukh walks over and asks Amitabh, "What happened to my proposal, to reduce the Complaints by Creating more Problems for the Cribbers." (For complete proposal read the post, Divine Justice T20 style in Shahrukh's voice).
Amitabh : "I got another proposal. A new recruit thinks, Angels can solve the problems of even cribbers, by being kind and compassionate."
Shahrukh snorts. They are joined by a third angel, Kareena, who stares anxiously at the earth, from the clouds.
Back to the Bar.
Rakhi Sawant is now dancing.
SoRP moans : "I got defriended dude. Can you help me with the revenge?"
Sail Ali Khan smses Kareena "I have a doubt, can you meet me."
They both meet in an exotic foreign locality and dance to a song. Baddies tries to molest Kareena and Saif bashes them.
As they walk away, licking ice creams, Kareena : "Defriended means rejecting a person on the net. For example, in facebook or twitter. There was an article in CNN about it causing lots of misery among humans. But angels are forbidden to help in revenge, Sweetie".
Saif : "Don't worry babe I will think of something else" winks and enters the Bar.
SoRP is now singing a sad melodious song, Mallika and Rakhi are dancing with tears in their eyes.
SoRP is imagining his Skimpy Bikini Girlfriend.
SoRP joins Saif after the song. Saif : "I can't help you in revenge but give me the details, dude."
SoRP shows he attended acting school by emoting love, frustration, hatred, misery and anger (by furrowing his eyebrows) and then tells his story.
"Today morning, I fell in love with a girl in a bikini on the beach. But Baddies kidnapped her to a factory to demand ransom from her rich father. I bashed the baddies and rescued the girl. But when I confessed I loved her, she said she has to be my friend first, and asked if I was fit to be her friend?"
"I told her I would get 500 friends in my network by midnight to prove I was worthy of being a friend. I had 496 friends 15 minutes back. Now the 497th one was a friend of the colleague of my classmate. He rejected my invite saying "He didn't know me." I am worried it could be due to something else. Maybe my Profile Picture, or Profile Details or my latest message. What if more people start defriending me? I am doomed."
Saif sighs and says a long dialogue about hope and love then suddenly stops. He stares at the clock. Its going to be three minutes to midnight. A limousine stops in front of the Hotel. And a girl in high red heels and skimpy red skirt gets out with a pout and a poodle.
Saif asks Mallika and Rakhi to be SoRP's friends. They agree. SoRP's friends count reaches 498.
Ms.Skimpy enters and Saif asks her to accept an invite from a friendly stranger. She agrees. SoRP's friends count reaches 499. 30 seconds to midnight. SoRP and Saif stare at each other.
SoRP asks Saif for his email id. Saif hesitates. He recalls Kareena saying "Baby, unlike human beings we have only one email id, never share it with humans."
But when Saif sees the ticking clock and the pouting girl and the pained lover. He gives his email id to SoRP and accepts his invite.
SoRP proudly displays his 500 friends to Ms.Skimpy. They kiss. And SoRP says, he now believes in Divinity and Divine Justice.
In Hitech Heavenly Palace, Amitabh is seated on a throne, while Shahrukh is busy behind a laptop. The guards bring in Saif in shackles and handcuffs. Shahrukh rises with a smirk and circles Saif.
Shahrukh to Amitabh : "Dear Lord, we have before us, Mujrim Angel, the first Angel to commit a crime".
Amitabh stares at Saif.
Shahrukh to Saif : "Mujrim Angel, Did you give your confidential email id to a human being, yesterday?"
Saif nods, looks at Amitabh and says "Everything is fair in love and war"
Amitabh looks passive.
Shahrukh "Do you know the Kost... of your Krime?" turns to Amitabh "For the first time we had to spend a million on antivirus software and technicians to fix our computers."
Amitabh : "I don't know understand.."
Shahrukh deferentially : "When our Mujrim Angel gave his email id to his Human Protege, he didn't realise the Konsequence of his actions. He received invites to 9 social networking sites, 17 photosharing sites, 7 sites which united you with your classmates, 15 sites which linked you to people in your profession, and 36 forwards. Since the Bcc option was not used in forwards, all the 499 friends of his Protege, got Mujrim angel's email id, and they too started sending him invites and forwards."
"Instead of blocking them, Mujrim Angel, didn't want to cause anyone distress, so he accepted them all. He decided he would respond kindly to every email and invite in his inbox, including the offers from the kind men in Africa who wanted to share their hard earned millions with him and the women who wanted to sell sex pills and weight loss programs, for a pittance."
Shahrukh turns viciously to Saif : "But more importantly, while reading those emails, you also accepted the viruses and worms these humans create. These viruses and worms attacked and infected every computer in our Divine Network."
Amitabh gravely to Saif : "Do you have anything to say? Do you realise I could punish you with death?"
Saif looks down and then becomes defiant and delivers a long dialogue about love being priceless.
Kareena looks on with tears in her eyes, then challenges Shahrukh, to his solution, to SoRP's problem.
Shahrukh smirks and sends an email to SoRP with the subject, Naked Pics. They watch the result on the bigscreen. SoRP oogles and forwards the email to all his 514 friends and everyone's computer crashes.
"Problem solved" he smirks to Kareena. "No computer, No Virtual Friends."
Kareena laughs and points out technically, even Shahrukh gave away his email id and now they have to deal with 514 cribbers who want their computers fixed.
Saif to Shahrukh and Amitabh : "Love is the solution, not cruelty, even when it comes to Cribbers."
Amitabh nods gravely. And orders Saif to be released.
Shahrukh pouts, picks his laptop and starts to leave. But Saif and Kareena, reach out to him. Shahrukh looks suprised then gives in. They all have a group hug. And dance at the wedding reception of SoRP and Ms.Skimpy.
Nov 2, 2009
Rage, Depression, Confusion and Frustration, played havoc inside his mind. In between he cribbed about his fate to God and immediately a nervous guy came in.
"Angel. Ketan Angel." he said. "Ketangel to friends. . I am visiting a friend, here. You OK? Here have a coffee" He thought Ketangel was funny, but after sipping the coffee, felt warmth towards Ketangel.
(The coffee had been spiked. Ketangel was actually an angel in disguise. A volunteer to render speedy Divine Justice, T20 style, to Cribbers, Compassionately. Not to be confused with his colleague, Aargh Angel, who prefers to wipe out Cribbers (Humans who clog the Divine Justice System with silly cribs). This was Ketangel's first assignment and he beamed at his Protege.)
The Protege said, "I have been defriended and feel miserable. Any revenge ideas?"
"Sorry can't help you with anything immoral and what is this defriended?" softly enquired, Ketangel.
Protege groaned and yelled few abuses. "You #$# don't know what has happened **** to me, and you $#@ won't help me with the revenge. Why are you wasting my time! %$#%#$%"
Ketangel winced but remained calm. "Perhaps if you explain, I can think of some other way to help you."
"I sent an Invite to this guy, who is a friend, of a colleague, of my classmate, and he rejected me! Said he didn't "know" me! Ha! How will he know me if he doesn't accept my invite! Anyway today morning, I thought I had 497 friends, and I would reach 500 today. Now I am with just 496 friends, and don't know the Real Rejection Reason. Maybe something in my profile, picture, or my latest message. What if this is just the beginning? What will I do, if more people defriend me?"
"Why don't you feel happy about the 496 friends you have, instead of getting upset with someone whom you don't even know. Why waste today, thinking what might happen tomorrow? Don't let your self worth quantified by the number of acquaintances, er friends.. "
Suddenly Protege's face brightened and he said "Hey, Ketangel, thanks for the advice, but you can make me feel better if you give me your email id and be my 497th friend."
Ketangel hesitated. He had only one email id and it was for official purpose only. And it was supposed to be strictly confidential. Yet Ketangel, was a benevolent angel who wanted to make an improvement in a human's life, even if the human happened to be a low life cribber and wanted to desperately succeed at his first assignment.
So Ketangel gave his email id, and watched his Protege rush back to his cubicle to work.
Actually, the protege went to check out Qwitter which allows Twitter users to determine who's stopped following them and which tweet may have turned them off; in case any of his Twitter followers decided to quit.)
Ten minutes later, Ketangel received invites to 9 social networking sites, 17 photosharing sites, 7 sites which united you with your classmates, 15 sites which linked you to people in your profession, and 36 forwards. Since the Bcc option was not used in forwards, all the 496 friends of his protege, got Ketangel's email id, and they too started sending him invites and forwards.
He didn't want to cause anyone distress, so he accepted them all. He decided he would respond kindly to every email and invite in his inbox, including the offers from the kind men in Africa who wanted to share their hard earned millions with him and the women who wanted to sell sex pills and weightloss programs, for a pittance.
The next day, the Protege oogled at the email from Ketangel, which had hot naked pictures of the latest starlet. Just after he finished forwarding it, to his 514 friends, his computer crashed.
You see, some Angels could be compassionate to cribbers but not to computer viruses and worms that had entered their "packmerries" through Ketangel's emails. So Ketangel had been fired and his email id had been handed over to Aargh Angel..
Oct 28, 2009
His mother yelled at him, he had wetted his shirt, again.
His father dragged him inspite of the wet shirt, into the car.
After all, they were going to the beach and it was not far.
The seven year old, walked with his parents, kicking the sands on the beach.
Feeling they were so near, and yet,so out of reach.
Suddenly his mother, ordered him to close his eyes,
while his father moaned, because of some, culture dies.
As his parents dragged him away,
He turned around to look,
At the couple who hugged,
unconscious or uncaring of glaring looks.
How will I tell them, he furiously thought
As his parents stood to watch, two men who fought.
He dragged them to the waves, from the cheering crowd.
But couldn't enjoy, even the waves, he dearly loved.
Yesterday he had easily confided to his parents, when a student had kicked him.
But today felt ashamed and didn't want to confide, what had happened, to him.
Confused between their shame towards affection
And the interest towards aggression.
He couldn't decide, if what had happened to him,
was affection or aggression.
What if it was something, that everybody did as a whim?
What if he mentioned it to his friends and they laughed at him?
It didn't happen in the cartoons and movies he saw..
Perhaps it was not even against the law.
You are Special and this is a Secret, he had been told
And what would his parents do, if the truth he told?
It wasn't a stranger, but a person, his parents knew,
Perhaps, this was something his parents already knew.
Will they tell this was just something he had to obey?
Or would they blame him for not running away?
Angry over being a pawn in someone's game.
He hated the Special Secret and feelings of Shame
Yet felt happy over being the chosen one..
If only he knew what he should have done..
He was a boy, and wasn't supposed to cry.
Yet salt water ran down from his eyes.
So he splashed more into the waves,,
Trying to hide the tears from his eyes.
Before leaving, he ran back to the sea
Annoying his parents by, again rinsing his mouth.
Well, It was easier to rinse his mouth,
than to utter the word sex from his mouth.
Oct 27, 2009
The Supreme immediately appointed an Aargh Angel, to give, sweeping, swift 20-20 style Divine Justice to cribbers.
The Aargh Angel decided on the following
1. Men who crib women, had it better, would be transformed into women. If they would crib further, into the third gender.
2. Executives who crib about their income tax amount would become unemployed. No income, no direct tax atleast. If they crib further, they would become homemakers. They would have to work, without pay, promotions or holidays and yet be labelled "not working".
3. Liberated women who lament the lack of liberated men, would get husbands who would have no problem being a homemaker and wearing pink skirts. If they crib further, they would get sons who want to follow their father's footsteps.
4. Husbands who crib about their wives spending too much time watching TV, would have wives who watch porn about young men, while claiming to being busy at work. If they cribbed further, the wives would start smoking, and drinking.
5. Couples who crib about lack of a boy (to take the family name forward) and indulge in female foeticides would get a boy who would not be able to find a girl due to the dwindling female population. If they crib further, the boys would be out of closet gays, who would take the aversion to girls, to an acceptable level.
6. "Forward Caste" people who crib about caste quotas but not NRI quotas and management quotas, will have their offsprings marry into "Lower Caste" only. Thus the future generations could reap the benefits denied to their ancestors. If they crib further, they will not have the money to bribe an official for a caste certificate.
7. Politicians who crib about reality shows like "Sach ka Samna", would be made participants in the show. If they crib further, there would be no talk of their sex life, but only their professional life.
8. Congress ministers who crib about austerity measures, would be turned into Iraqi politicians. If they crib further, they would be blown to pieces.
9. Twitterers who crib about lack of followers, would get stalkers as followers. If they crib further, the stalkers would be serial killers.
10. People who crib about Obama winning the Nobel would have to deal with Sri Lankan President Mahinda Rajapaksa winning it in 2010 for his victory over terrorists. If they crib further, it would go to Bin Laden in 2011 for choosing to not strike Sweden.
Any other Cribs???
Oct 25, 2009
After helping himself to the hot samosas and tea, he grabbed his briefcase.
He handed the photocopies of the book he had copied for his son, at his office, along with the color printouts for his project. And said "I had to pay 25 lakhs for your seat, study hard".
His son nodded and grabbed his father's mobile, to play games in it. He stared at his son, wondering if he should remind him to not crash his mobile again. After all, even if he was a hotshot at work, people talked about his frequent mobile changes.. His son perhaps read his mind, since he showed him, how to hack into their neighbour's wi-fi. He didn't understand most of it, but pretended to understand. "My son is a genius, I must nurture him," he thought proudly and moved on to his wife.
He gave her a jewel box and smiled when she squealed and gleefully took out the new necklace. "Better than the neighbour's Anniversary gift?" he asked with a smirk? The necklace had been sponsored by the three new candidates he had selected. Since they didn't deserve to be selected, for them, it was a bargain to pay him.
"Lets go out for dinner " he said. (To a new restaurant, which his colleagues had praised). And of course on the expense account. After all, how could he take clients out to a restaurant, he hadn't tested and tasted?
"But I wanted to watch movie. New release and the print is great! " his son complained holding out the pirated cd. "Lets order pizza." his son suggested. He hated pizza. Just hype, he thought. He looked at his wife for support. "Lets go out, he can order a pizza for now, and we can get a parcel for him" she decided.
"Shall we invite our "Favourite Neighbours"?" he asked. After all, what was the point of a lifestyle, if you didn't have an audience. "I don't think they will be in the mood "she said. "It turned out to be a Girl for their daughter. So they had to "take care of it" today. He nodded in approval " Well they should be pleased they found out early. See if you can find someone else for dinner."
He grabbed the TV remote and began channel surfing, to find a dinner discussion topic. The news was the usual mix of Page 3 promotions, corrupt politicians and past cricketers who criticised the present bunch for being greedy and ineffective. He muttered, "Rotten corrupt people without values. The system is hopeless.."
Wrote Two Posts Today
"Claimer you are being Childish!
Claiming the land, is not enough. When you dont care about the people who live on that land. Sure you can claim, your people were driven out, but isn't it time, you woke up to the ground realities..and your need to appease your citizens.
If the land is yours, what are the rights, you give to those who live on that land. Do they carry your passport? Do they get your grants for developement? What do you and your people, DO for those living on that land?"
Even if you claim to own the piece of land on Paper, the People are Ours.. Just keep dreaming of owning them.."
You stole the land and drove away our people. You may have won a battle, but we will win the war. We will drive out the illegal occupiers, and retrieve the land to its rightful owners.
Don't you Dare to Provoke us, You cowards! "
Pak bashing is generally the shortcut to patriotic popularity on the blogs. Then I thought, it would seem more patriotic, to indulge in Chinese bashing too.
So wrote two posts, but in my hurry to popularity, got my post title mixed..For the 1 I wrote, PoK and for Post 2 Arunachal Pradesh..
Now the blogworld is out for my blood, thinking I am a Chinese-ISI agent!
Aargh! When will I ever get it right!!!
Note : Aargh Diaries is a fictional series.
Oct 22, 2009
Another lightning lit up the sky. They saw details they had missed before.
"He is without shoes, and no car around, perhaps he has been robbed" said the Red Tshirt.
"Or wants to rob us by pretending to be helpless. We should move" urged the Blue Tshirt.
"But he appears to be fair and tall, perhaps he is someone famous. Didn't they hint at the resort, someone famous was also staying nearby." wondered the Yellow Tshirt.
"Just a drunk. I saw a bottle near him" said the Grey Tshirt.
"Lets not waste time on some drunk, its not our problem" decided the Blue shirt.
Unfortunately the driver was the Red Tshirt who argued "What if it wasn't his fault for being drunk. What if someone had slipped him something.."
"If only we could see his face" grumbled Yellow Tshirt.
"So we should get down, and look at his face, if he is famous or someone we know, we can ask him, did you get drunk on purpose, if not, we will help you. Perhaps we should also check if he belongs to our community" chortled the Green Tshirt.
The four glared at the Green tshirt. "For all you know it could be a ghost" the Green Tshirt added with a hint of mischief.
"Lets move!" shouted the panicked Yellow Tshirt.
"Or it could be part of a new reality program on TV" added the Green Tshirt.
The Yellow Tshirt, looked desperately at the figure on the ground, and quickly looked away. "Whatever, just decide on something" he grumbled.
"Move. I dont want to suffer for someone's mistakes" hissed Blue Tshirt.
"This is not a girl and not the place we are familiar with, and we dont even have a mobile, to call for help, so its not worth the risk. Lets pray for him and leave" decided the Grey Tshirt.
"Morals and Prayers are pointless without Responsibility and Humanity. Its just not Right" argued the Red Tshirt.
"Humanity shouldn't mean stupidity, If you get down, we will move on" threathened the Blue Tshirt.
The Red Tshirt simply got down from the car.
The Blue Tshirt got in the driver's seat and the car navigated the hairpin bend. The trio tried to look back, but couldnt make out much. And a lightning didn't oblige them.
The Grey Tshirt said "You know the moral of this incident, No more mobile free weekends and waiting for the traffic to clear before leaving."
" No more hill station getaways." added the BlueTshirt.
"It would be an Ironic Twist if its part of some Reality TV show called "Being Right on a Dark Road"" sighed the Yellow Tshirt
"Shut up... I hope there are no mudslides." muttered the Blue Tshirt
"Drive slowly", suggested the Green Tshirt, "If you drive us over the hill, that would be a Worse Ironic Twist."
Oct 20, 2009
The answer : "No" or better "Of course NOT!"
Unless the "asker" is visually challenged, the asker knows the answer is Yes. The asker asks your help, only to float in denial land, and you are not expected to make them crash land to reality, with Your Yes, unless you wanted to be hated, forever.
If you find this tough to accept or understand; well, we don't tell, first kill the chicken, when asked for a chicken recipe, or Boss I want to wring your neck for waiting till evening to give me this job or I want to marry you to be my unpaid maid. Its not about thoughts, its about How You make them Feel. And thats why I am NOT saying "You are a Sick Sadist, who confuses being truthful with being factually correct. Don't you have any mercy within you??"
We are humans! Our best invention is Lying..If you are still uncomfortable with a No and tempted by Yes, Wait, there are other options :
1.The fabric has shrunk? or The tailor has messed it up again? or Salesperson gave you wrong size..or the Labels say XL but the dress looks Medium. (Always blame someone - The Cricket Analyst style)
2. Wear Well Fitted, Vertical Designs with a V neck and smaller prints. And please throw away those high waisted pants with tapering legs. You would look a lot thinner. (Fashionesta style)
3. Hmmm Of course Not! Look in the mirror! (It looks cloudy but it won't rain - Meteorologist style)
4. What matters is not how you Look, but how you Feel! How do you Feel? Surely Great! (TV Guru style)
5. Oh I dropped my lenses again! or Something wrong with my ears..What did you say? (Bollywood Slapstick comedy style)
6. Did you know what Sharukh did...? (Distraction is Best - Breaking News style)
7. Lets discuss it later..(The Judicial style)
8. You look Sexy! (Sex sells colas and cars and cement - The Ad industry style)
9. Lets ask @!$% and %$^% also (Lets appoint a Committee's equivalent in the Political style)
10. Do You think I look Fat? (Let me get even with you for making me feel guilty about lying - Spousal style)
11.You make me feel like a Beauty Pageant Judge! (The Successful Employee style)
12.I asked the same question 3 months back but now I don't ask. You know why? I joined $##@$, ate $#@$^#. And now you can Earn Money, Eat whatever you Want and Never Worry about being Fat..(The "friendly MLMer" style)
13. Why? (Questioning the Obvious, Philosopher style)
14. I was just being sarcastic when I tweeted you look fat. (Shashi Tharoor style)
15. No dear, have a Cookie. (Nobel Committee style)
PS : Please refrain from being Factually Correct. Since Saying "You look Fat" can be hazardous to Your Health..(And if someone murdered you for being "truthful", who would read my blogs?).
Oct 19, 2009
I wish I could discuss my body without being ashamed
I wish I could discuss my mind without being labelled a weirdo
I wish I could talk and understand
what I am feeling and why I am feeling
Whats the point in knowing about cultures and civilisation
About lands and inventions and formulas
When I ignore my mind and my body.
Why should I be made to feel ashamed of my private parts
Why should I be made to ignore my feelings and thoughts
When I hurt my finger, I know first aid
But when I feel hurt and alone, I feel ashamed to ask for aid
How will I ever know, if what I think and feel is normal
When sex education and psychology are not, subjects normal.
Whats the point of MY life, I want to think and ask
But let me get on with my algebra, otherwise I will be taken to task
A 13 year old girl
Oct 15, 2009
We need Genetically Modified Netas and Babus who are resistant to corruption.
Btw, European Union has banned genetically modified food crops. Why?
Oct 14, 2009
1. He came up with an unique strategy to free Tibet.
President Barack Obama faced criticism for putting off a meeting with the Dalai Lama until after his China trip next month. The White House defended the move saying 'a strong relationship with Beijing helps the Tibetans. Our relationship with China - having a strong relationship and a good dialogue with them allows us to talk to them about the cares and concerns of the Tibetan people'.
2. They wanted to prevent wars with Iran or N Korea.
3. They couldn't find Superman.
4. His name rhymes with Osama, his VP's name rhymes with Laden, his middle name is Hussien, he is half Black & yet he didn't do a Gore & saved the world from Sarah Palin!
They thought perhaps He Is Superman.
5. He has to clean the Bush Mess. Even Superman needs encouragement to do that Olympian task.
6. They take all recommendations of Oprah seriously. Not just her Book Club Choices.
7. There wasn't a choice. Who could they give it to, Gandhi??
8. The Committee wanted the world to know they existed. Perhaps too much attention on Laureates earlier.
9. Its recession time & the Committee wanted to ask Pepsi for Sponsorship. Or Obama for a Bailout Package.
10. The Committee wanted a benchmark before giving it to George Clooney next year
Oct 13, 2009
The Creator, agrees to give you Life.
But giving you the spark of Life doesn't mean, helping you, in having a Life. To put it simply :
Life will not be fair. This is the main clause, and it summarises all the other clauses. But while other creatures, understand this simple rule, being a complex creature, you don't seem to understand this point, when you become human.
The TWH should realise, that the Creator will be busy managing the infinite universe, and will not be inclined to the infinite problems of the TWH.
Simply Accept the Situation and do what you can, to Change it.
The Creator appreciates you being truthful sincere and honest. But being that is its own reward. If you make a choice otherwise, be prepared for the consequences and please do not call the Creator.
When in doubt, behave like other creatures, who have nothing and yet do not crib or complain.
The Creator creates humans, Humans create the concepts of Religion and Money and emergencies like slower internet or traffic jams.
The TWH should realise, there would be some TWHs who seem to have it all, and some TWHs who would seem to have nothing. The onus falls on the TWH to mend this situation.
Eventhough You are not giving anything back to the Creator, the Creator understands, TWHs need an incentive to follow this Contract. If you follow this Contract, in your next birth, you will be born as a Cockroach, (subject to availability ).
Being a Cockroach ensures,
1. You scare most of the Humans
2. You dont have to worry about Anything.
Please kick if you have understood and accept to the Contract.
Oct 12, 2009
Oct 11, 2009
In 2002, during Malawi's worst droughts, 14 year old William Kamkwamba had to forego schooling, since his family couldn't pay his fees. Based on a book in a library, he made, in three months, a Windmill!
His "resources" : spare bicycle parts, a tractor fan blade and an old shock absorber, and fashioned blades from plastic pipes, flattened by being held over a fire. He bolted the pieces using a screwdriver made of a heated nail attached to a corncob.
This is the subject of the book "The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind" by Bryan Mealer
From http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/8257153.stm , http://edition.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/africa/10/05/malawi.wind.boy ,
I can blame it on the net connection
or mention the lack of time
Point out I was out of station for two months
or mention my dad died and how I am trying to cope
Or brag about my kid..
But actually Silence is Easier than words
And hopefully this time around I would blog more..
Its nice to be home at the blogs..
May 18, 2009
I had thought it would be cute to greet my colleagues with a "future email" on Monday morning after the results, last week. Based on few blogs and media bytes, I had assumed the BJP would win.
To the closet Congressites at work, emailed
"Its all because of Manmohan Singh, Rahulji has nothing to do with it"
And to the shrill BJPites
"Its all because of Ram's blessings".
Needless to say, the Congressites and the BJPites unitedly hate me.
May 2, 2009
1.Just posted my first blog! Cant wait for the whole world to read and confirm, I am a gift to humanity.
2.Its two hours after my post, and its just 6 comments. Let me thank them all by visiting their blog and telling them they are cool too and linking to them and making sure I read and comment on their posts.
3.Its a week since I blogged and not everyone's back for more.
4.When I complained on my blog I was called a Loser
5.I wrote on Sex and Religion and Yeah my blog's getting comments and its also featured, yes featured on the sites main page. Hmmm who is a Loser.
6.Emailed the featured page to all my friends and the editor who rejected my material. I can and have made it big.
7.Its not easy being a stay at home blogger, I have to pay my own net and telephone bills, instead of it being an office perk. When will I earn 100$ through advertising? And how much of the cost would it cover?
8.Its a month since I started blogging and just 70% of what I have written has been featured and just 82% of bloggers have come back to comment and 30% of the comments are spams. Perhaps I should blog in more sites.
9. I think I need to change my templates and add more gadgets. Spent 5 hours on template and changed it again after 15 minutes.
10. Its six months and now my main blog (not where I blogged initially btw) has had 1000 visitors! Happy 6 months birthday to my blog. And I have earned 10 cents through you!
11.An annon blogger who claims to know me, thinks I have a holier than thou attitude, spent 2 hours obsessing about it and wondering which of my friendly blogger could be the annon blogger.
12.Had problems with a blogsite, stopped blogging. Back to blogging in that site after all the bloggers are more important than site and my friends blog "there".
13. @#$# burnt my food. Could I write a blog on Smart Excuses for Burnt food.
14.Help I cant stop thinking about my blog and the stuff to blog. Do I need professional help!
15. Cant believe I blogged "Do I need professional help?". And surely people dont think I am crazy
16. I am crazy to have wasted all this time blogging. I just got one award for all the hard work I put in and I had to share it with...
17.My new year resolution is to win more awards and be featured frequently.
18.Hmmm "How come this blog has more readers than mine" (to be said in the tone of the rin ad, "bala uski sari meri sari se safaid kaise")
19.Spent the week adding more color, content, links and gadgets to my blog. Didnt have time for posting though.
20. Its some years since I blogged and I dont care who visits or comments, just glad I have an outlet to express myself and add to the cyber junk. Though I wish I had stuck with one blogsite, I hate closing down a blog and admitting failure and yet, multiple posting is a pain.
21. Cant decide if my Twitter followers will read my blogs, or if my blog readers will follow my Tweets. And if something important happens in my life, should I tweet first and then blog or should I blog and then tweet the blog title?
Apr 29, 2009
Apr 28, 2009
1.Cooked food for self (diet), better half (semi diet) and the kid (hopefully nutritious and tasty). There goes 2 hours.
2.Spent one and half hours (a day) just feeding the kid. (when will he learn to eat on his own?) Human Beings are stupid. Mothers have to spend their time, feeding the child, unrequired quantities of food, so that the kid would look chubby and they would be called Great Mothers. And since the kid refuses to eat whats unrequired, they add sugar and oil. Then the child grows up to be obese, and has to be on pill or diet or just suffer.
3.Checked email and deleted the spams and forwards. Wow! There is an email from a friend. Aaargh its just another invitation to join another network!
4.Read today's headlines. And its almost 3pm. Just a minute, has the kid got up?
5.Oh yeah,spent two hours trying to make the kid sleep, (and trying not to sleep before the kid sleeps.) And then will have to spend 15 minutes waking the kid so that he will sleep early at night.
6.Envied the cockroach, it doesnt have to bother about cooking cleaning or putting its kid to sleep. And it gets more respect. And doesnt have to read articles like "How to make your Husband fold clothes."
7.Realised 2 minutes after coffee, the coffee wasn't great, and wondered if it would be too early to have another cup of coffee. Decided to make coffee, got too busy and now the coffee has gone cold, but since I didnt want to waste it, drank it and went back to wondering if it would be too early for another coffee.
8.Wondered if it would be unappropriate to write about potty training and the diaper duties. Wondered why politicians promise free TV instead of free diapers. (Perhaps in the long run the TV is cheaper than the diapers).
9.Prayed rains would visit the IPL match. (Nothing gets done during IPL at home). Wow wish granted! Prayed the rains would stop, TV is just too boring otherwise.
10.Washed most of the dishes, and organised the toys, made the bed. No my mother in law isnt visiting, just didnt want the house to look too messy for the hired help.
11.Dont want to be labelled uncaring parent so clicked pictures and uploaded them. Dont want to be labelled obsessive parent hence didnt share the pictures.
12.Realised life had more interesting twitters when I called myself “Stay at Home Blogger“ than “Stay at Home Mom“