He stared at his screen, stunned and softly cursed. Emotionally, he felt, he had been suddenly marooned in a cold lonely island, even though technically, he was at work. He went to the pantry, leaned against the wall, and tried to digest what had happened to him.
Rage, Depression, Confusion and Frustration, played havoc inside his mind. In between he cribbed about his fate to God and immediately a nervous guy came in.
"Angel. Ketan Angel." he said. "Ketangel to friends. . I am visiting a friend, here. You OK? Here have a coffee" He thought Ketangel was funny, but after sipping the coffee, felt warmth towards Ketangel.
(The coffee had been spiked. Ketangel was actually an angel in disguise. A volunteer to render speedy Divine Justice, T20 style, to Cribbers, Compassionately. Not to be confused with his colleague, Aargh Angel, who prefers to wipe out Cribbers (Humans who clog the Divine Justice System with silly cribs). This was Ketangel's first assignment and he beamed at his Protege.)
The Protege said, "I have been defriended and feel miserable. Any revenge ideas?"
"Sorry can't help you with anything immoral and what is this defriended?" softly enquired, Ketangel.
Protege groaned and yelled few abuses. "You #$# don't know what has happened **** to me, and you $#@ won't help me with the revenge. Why are you wasting my time! %$#%#$%"
Ketangel winced but remained calm. "Perhaps if you explain, I can think of some other way to help you."
"I sent an Invite to this guy, who is a friend, of a colleague, of my classmate, and he rejected me! Said he didn't "know" me! Ha! How will he know me if he doesn't accept my invite! Anyway today morning, I thought I had 497 friends, and I would reach 500 today. Now I am with just 496 friends, and don't know the Real Rejection Reason. Maybe something in my profile, picture, or my latest message. What if this is just the beginning? What will I do, if more people defriend me?"
"Why don't you feel happy about the 496 friends you have, instead of getting upset with someone whom you don't even know. Why waste today, thinking what might happen tomorrow? Don't let your self worth quantified by the number of acquaintances, er friends.. "
Suddenly Protege's face brightened and he said "Hey, Ketangel, thanks for the advice, but you can make me feel better if you give me your email id and be my 497th friend."
Ketangel hesitated. He had only one email id and it was for official purpose only. And it was supposed to be strictly confidential. Yet Ketangel, was a benevolent angel who wanted to make an improvement in a human's life, even if the human happened to be a low life cribber and wanted to desperately succeed at his first assignment.
So Ketangel gave his email id, and watched his Protege rush back to his cubicle to work.
Actually, the protege went to check out Qwitter which allows Twitter users to determine who's stopped following them and which tweet may have turned them off; in case any of his Twitter followers decided to quit.)
Ten minutes later, Ketangel received invites to 9 social networking sites, 17 photosharing sites, 7 sites which united you with your classmates, 15 sites which linked you to people in your profession, and 36 forwards. Since the Bcc option was not used in forwards, all the 496 friends of his protege, got Ketangel's email id, and they too started sending him invites and forwards.
He didn't want to cause anyone distress, so he accepted them all. He decided he would respond kindly to every email and invite in his inbox, including the offers from the kind men in Africa who wanted to share their hard earned millions with him and the women who wanted to sell sex pills and weightloss programs, for a pittance.
The next day, the Protege oogled at the email from Ketangel, which had hot naked pictures of the latest starlet. Just after he finished forwarding it, to his 514 friends, his computer crashed.
You see, some Angels could be compassionate to cribbers but not to computer viruses and worms that had entered their "packmerries" through Ketangel's emails. So Ketangel had been fired and his email id had been handed over to Aargh Angel..
:O
ReplyDeleteI couldn't understand anything except Ketanangel=Ketan Panchal, rest was either not meant for me or may be I have low level of Intelligence :D
BTW, cribbing about cribbing people is your passion kya?
Hello Tarun!
ReplyDeleteSorry for breaking into your conversation with WDM (Wise Donkey ma'am), but even before this post had been published, I had made a strong disclaimer dissociation myself from this inept Ketangel.
I don't know what will WDM gain by making my prospective employers up there doubt my ability. :(
Full disclaimer here (click)
And actually, this post had nothing to do with me. Even if that angel's name had been Tarangel, the post's meaning would have remained intact. In fact, WiDangel is so nice that, if you request her, she would do a post on Tarangel, too! ;) Or maybe, it could be Tarungel! The choice is yours. :)
All the best!
Oh Ketan beat me to it.
ReplyDeleteKetan if you notice I did link your comment, with disclaimer
tarun the ketangel is coincidental..
ReplyDeleteif you understood there is some cribbing, than you must have understood some part of the post..
my passion is making people read my blog..and i am tempted to make u read all my posts to prove my passion is not cribbing about cribbers..
Felt like a soft kick to myself :). Many a time I keep thinking that I write so many posts and people who read t don't even have the courtesy of putting a comment on it. But somehow bounce right back into writing more - mainly because I know my family read my blog :-D. But sometimes, just sometimes especially when I see ome not-so-good blogs getting 100s of comments, I do wish that people would drop a line or 2 :(.
ReplyDeletei didnt understand exactly what u wanted to convey from this
ReplyDeleteto make the matter even more interesting (read confusing) the comments are also beyond my scope of intelligince and Ketan, your explanation is as good as your ulta-pulta pic...
ReplyDeleteI am blank ;)
Okay Tarun, assuming you actually did not get the post, my interpretation of it goes like this:
ReplyDeleteWDM wanted to point out how people have got so caught up in their online, virtual lives, that even their real lives suffer if something even frivolous happens there.
Being defriended, should idealy be a total nonissue, 'cuz when one has very high number (say, anything more than 50) of online friends, it shouldn't matter if one or two delete us off their friends' list. But some of us have become so caught up with the idea of number of online friends, rather than their loyalty, intimacy and quality, that we take that number to be an indication of our self-worth.
Then, WDM also wanted to point out how some people never learn from their mistakes, and the depressed guy, yet again, tried to expand his social network.
The other tangent on which WDM sought to send the readers' thoughts was how being courteous in our online lives (Ketangel accepting only one acquaintance's request) could have disastrous consequences. Ketangel then out of courtesy accepted all other friends' requests that came along. There was possibly a 'breach in security' in God's security system, which resulted in hacking of Ketangel's official email account.
So, the benevolent but inept Ketangel was fired and was replaced by the more effective but cruel Aargh angel. So the bottomline is laaton ke bhoot baaton se nahin maanate!...
...Now, what really shocked me is how Ketangel in certain ways actually does in the spoof what Ketan would've otherwise done in his real life! ;) Of course, not now, but maybe, a few years back. :P
ReplyDeleteBut I don't know what packmerries is! :(
And plus, this was WDM's own characteristic style of taking revenge by showing the benevolent (but not yet all-powerful) Ketangel down! 'cuz she has already registered her loyalty with Aargh angel who thinks Ketangel to be professional rival. So she's Aargh angel's agent err... associate angel. In fact, she probably thinks even Aargh angel to be her competition at work place! You see, except for Ketangel, all the angels out there are vindictive and insecure gore-maniacs! She's going to pursue an even more aggressive path to bring goodness back to the World, but for which she'll have to get Aargh angel out of sight and out of business in the first place! And this she thinks would please God, and she'd get promoted to the post of Vice God. And the next victim in her list would be...
Watch out this space for more action as WiDangel wipes off humanity err... vices of humanity off the face of this Earth by dispensing justice, caffeine and valium in her fast and purrious style (click). ;)
Ketangel is down, but not out. >:D
Has Tarungel taken birth, yet? Don't know whose side would he be!
I hope Tarun, you did understand the plot this time! If not, then I leave the job to the most proficient of them all--WiDangel!
Take care.
And yes, Tarun, to best get the beginning of this professional rivalry, please read the comments on the page I've linked through 'full disclaimer (here)', above. TC.
ReplyDeleteOMG!! What a long explanation and again I have the same expression on my face :D
ReplyDeleteNevermind, better luck next time for me :P
Wise DOnkey, do I need to realize the donkey inside me to understand all this, btw?
Tarun and Uncommon sense hope the new post a Bollywood Remake of Divine Justice enlightens you both.
ReplyDeleteDeeps, Cheer up:) and Roar:)
Ketan
1.pack-merries are the angel's blackberry
2.The new post should clear your doubts on whether I have a bias towards Aargh Angel over Ketangel..