Subscribe To My Podcast

Oct 27, 2009

Divine Justice T20 style

The Committee which looked into the reason for Bad PR on Divine Justice, came to the following conclusion. Humans dont remember the Before Birth Contract. And the lines of the Divine Helpline are being spammed by cribbers, (Humans who Dial the Divine Helpline instead of Divine Thanksline), which Delays Divine Justice, almost infinitely.

The Supreme immediately appointed an Aargh Angel, to give, sweeping, swift 20-20 style Divine Justice to cribbers.

The Aargh Angel decided on the following

1. Men who crib women, had it better, would be transformed into women. If they would crib further, into the third gender.

2. Executives who crib about their income tax amount would become unemployed. No income, no direct tax atleast. If they crib further, they would become homemakers. They would have to work, without pay, promotions or holidays and yet be labelled "not working".

3. Liberated women who lament the lack of liberated men, would get husbands who would have no problem being a homemaker and wearing pink skirts. If they crib further, they would get sons who want to follow their father's footsteps.

4. Husbands who crib about their wives spending too much time watching TV, would have wives who watch porn about young men, while claiming to being busy at work. If they cribbed further, the wives would start smoking, and drinking.

5. Couples who crib about lack of a boy (to take the family name forward) and indulge in female foeticides would get a boy who would not be able to find a girl due to the dwindling female population. If they crib further, the boys would be out of closet gays, who would take the aversion to girls, to an acceptable level.

6. "Forward Caste" people who crib about caste quotas but not NRI quotas and management quotas, will have their offsprings marry into "Lower Caste" only. Thus the future generations could reap the benefits denied to their ancestors. If they crib further, they will not have the money to bribe an official for a caste certificate.

7. Politicians who crib about reality shows like "Sach ka Samna", would be made participants in the show. If they crib further, there would be no talk of their sex life, but only their professional life.

8. Congress ministers who crib about austerity measures, would be turned into Iraqi politicians. If they crib further, they would be blown to pieces.

9. Twitterers who crib about lack of followers, would get stalkers as followers. If they crib further, the stalkers would be serial killers.

10. People who crib about Obama winning the Nobel would have to deal with Sri Lankan President Mahinda Rajapaksa winning it in 2010 for his victory over terrorists. If they crib further, it would go to Bin Laden in 2011 for choosing to not strike Sweden.

Any other Cribs???


  1. Rajapakasa and Bin Laden :D

    Point number 1 and 3 are too good. Pink skirts, pink shirts and pink undies will make them feel even better.

    Very well written.

  2. did u realise which post inspired this one:D

  3. Absolutely Yes!!
    May be the flavor was fun here or are "we" [I] heading towards a serious naari-purush rights discussion?? :O

  4. unlikely since i dont go for those discussions. good and bad exist in both genders:)

  5. that's so nice and intelligent of you :P

  6. Wise donkey ma'am,

    Good God, you're not *the* God! Lest, don't know where the World would've headed.

    Point 3 reminded me of this guest post by Sioneve (click) on my blog.

    You don't know male psychology enough! In point 4, the order of punishment should be reversed! :P

    Point 9 made me conclude you are obsessed with Twitter. Which reminds me that comment was indeed mine! But it's really strange I remember commenting to that effect, but not really your post! :( Probably, since I didn't know about twitter then, I couldn't appreciate the inherent humor! My tiny brainlet does let me down sometimes! :(

    And please add point number 11--"Those who crib a lot about mankind in general, would have there Blogger accounts canceled. And if they crib further, they would have them restored, but nothing to crib about." See, my God is so benevolent, doesn't go to extremes like yours. After all, my God's agent is the Ketangel, and not Aargh angel!

    Very interesting and funny post, indeed! But have you wondered, sometimes only momentary cribing helps us get on with our lives, especially in areas where we're totally helpless?

    Good day! Take care.

  7. Ketan,
    I dont think there are many married men, who would think its better if their wife, smoke drink and watch porn and oogle at young boys than watch TV.
    Did you think Aargh angel was going to make the MEN watch porn, smoke and drink??

    Of course crib is essential, thats why I am just posting a crib about cribbers:D

    I had read the pink chaddi and the sequel..and commented..but was having probs posting it .. couple of days gave up..
    on the pick chaddi i wondered if it had been borrowed or gifted from someone, and u sometimes wear stupid stuff because its a gift from someone you like..i think i would have felt like you, if i had seen a bare chested man, unexpectedly..(not at a pool or a beach, but just showing off..)

    but on the sequel, i dont think that strategy would have worked..its just too simplistic:D the kid would see through. since they would know you better than you, yourself.
    I would have said, "Thats an excellent idea, your cousin (or some neighbour's kid, whoever the darling hates )wore it. I am glad you decided to follow his footsteps..and no kid likes to follow the footsteps of someone he hates..

    For bloggers, I was think their cribs would be I dont get enough comments, enough smart people who agree with my comments, and enough smart people who agree and smart editors who feature my posts (sites like and o3 since i blog there too), but when I thought of punishment, i didnt want to write it.What if it came true:D
    so I replaced it with the twitter line. I am not obsessed with twitter, my twitter page is so bare..its just one of the flavours of the season, like Obama Nobel..
    I thought you were mocking me when you made that comment about twitter.

  8. "And if they crib further, they would have them restored, but nothing to crib about."

    lol if I am not mistaken your God doesn't exist. And now I understand why, your expectations are just too high from God if you want a world which has nothing to crib about..
    I think if we had nothing to crib about , we would crib, we have nothing to crib about:D

  9. You misunderstood me (yet again? :( )

    By reversal of order of punishment I only meant that:

    Husbands who crib about their wives spending too much time watching TV, would have wives who smoke and drink. If they cribbed further,
    the wives would start watching porn about young men, while claiming to being busy
    at work.

    That according to my understanding of male psychology would be truly incremental punishment! ;)

    Regarding the pink chaddis-post, I have to tell you that my emotional/impulsive reaction is always the same irrespective of the gender (that's why I mentioned in the post, low waist jeans deliberately worn by guys!)

    And it is not a case that there couldn't have been other reasons for her to wear that dress! But are they comparablx plausible as her wearing it for the purpose I mentioned in the post? I think most of the readers couldn't really visualize what 100 cm-squared is! It's too big a triangle to be explained away by a simple fashion faux pas! And there are other tangents on which my mind would go as well. Would I keep on valuing someone who gifts me a dress like that?

    One of the purposes of Sioneve through that exchange was to make fun of me and my MALE progeny! You think that purpose is being served by the solution you offer? Though I'm really impressed by you solution, actually!

    About the twitter thing, I was pulling your leg! 'Mocking' would be too strong a word with connotations of contempt or malice which were definitely absent in my comment! :)

  10. For me, God is not impossible to exist (click)! Just that my definition of God in certain ways is more stringent, and in certain ways, less so! :)

    I'm not sure if you've read my favorite bloggers' list (click). It does make a mention of couple of bloggers who I consider God-ly, if not gods! :)

    But the point of my above comment was to brag about how Ketangel is better than Aargh angel! ;) It's after all the agents/devices that matter more than the intentions of God (click). Well, this post is also about humans cribbing!

    And you know, coincidentally though Tarun and and I have interacted very little with each other, both are atheists/skeptics!

    Sorry for so many links. You could go through them as and when time permits.


  11. ketan you are absolutely right about the incremental stuff.. if a wife sees porn, it becomes personal to the husband..
    whereas drinking and smoking are not that personal..
    but i didnt use that logic, because, i think when it comes to men, society doesn't think porn is as bad as smoking or drinking..(the clean habits marital clause. people make a deal out of smoking drinking guy but no one asks him if he watches porn..)

    so i was taking a subtle (half baked )dig at it...

    on pink chaddi
    maybe people do dumb stuff without thinking.. i wore a white top to a beach picnic forgeting the water element. and had to borrow a shirt. i dont know how many would have bought, i was just stupid..

    100sq cm is LOT...

    re. the solution, see i have a son, and i try to think practically:D

  12. oh i grant u ketan angel is better than aargh angel(?):d

    u have to read my "proud hindu" post on my spiritual inclination..

    welcome links always:)

  13. More later, but please do give me links, 'cuz I'm new to your blog, and wouldn't know the labeling pattern of your blog.

    It would be best if you leave hyperlinked clickable links the way I do, as accessing these things from a cell phone, it is very difficult to copy and paste links.

    The difference between that girl and your situations was that she was eating in the same mess/study room, whereas you were in a new situation! :) In your case, there was something you did not anticipate, but in her case, there was nothing really to anticipate. Also deliberate intention becomes more likely simply because the revelation happened through two pieces of clothing (flank and elastic waist band), and not just one, in which case it could be more likely a careless mistake!

    Also, I'd like you to give me links to your older posts, which you'd want me to specifically read or comment on. :)

    And since, I've got used to your level of astuteness of observation of human nature, I forgot to mention in my previous comments how much am I impressed with your understanding of how the human mind works! :)


  14. i dont know what is hyperlinked clickable links

    the label code
    jus donkee, dont have time to put it in any category, just response stuff (this is my back up blog. i was more active in the toi blogsite o3 few years would tough to understand why i posted

    hmmm humourous marvellous multidimensional matter (tryin to be funny)

    aargh diaries.. (aargh and wisedonkey started out as gender neutral o3) fictional office stuff with a touch of irony..

    pilgrim (on religion)

    kidding (from a kids point of view in a diary format)

    recipes, posted on request. unfortunately famous for upma:D

    Do u know, had started it as a contest in o3, where i will ask the question and bloggers can google the answer. fun + issues covered

    Relationships has Some good stuff

    SKy inspirational stuff

    LEo silly zodiac stuff, that only Leos think are fascinating:D

    seriously, when i am too busy to right the issue with a humourous angle

    MKG few posts on Mahatma Gandhi..

    u can chk favourites label

    will post links of int stuff seperatrly..


  16. <*a href="">Neglected Serendipity (click)<*/a>

    After you remove those asterisks, above code would show up as follows:

    Neglected Serendipity (click)

    That's what I'd meant by hyperlinked clickable links! :)

    Wow, I could never imagine hmmm had such and elaborate expansion!

    Anyway, I'd been able to access that article by search function of your blog! But thanks, all the same! My response over there has a few typos, most significant being inadvertent double negative dealing with lighting of pyre.

    Thanks for letting know about the labels!

    And thanks for accepting Ketangel as the supreme, exclusive angel of the Universe!



  17. couldnt read teh poston your favourite bloggers
    your blog gets opened but not the post..
    and the worship post..
    will try again.
    i use intercome dial up, so u can imagine the speed..

    And I have started praying to the Creator, to give powers to Ketan angel. And I have a list ready for Ketan angel.
    1.Tendulkar's ton today
    2.Faster internet
    3.More comments on a post, which is very close to the heart..(pointless to name the post, you would comment and then credit Ketan angel)
    I better not type more, otherwise Ketan angel would become Aargh angel
    4.Just let me add more coffee,without consequences..

  18. Ma'am,

    I think you've been reading my comments in too much hurry!

    It is Ketangel and not Ketan angel.

    This distinction is important firstly because, it takes some amount of creativity to come up with a well-fitting portmanteau, and secondly because, wrong usage of the term gives rise to unreasonable expectations, as happened with you!

    LOL @ coffee without consequences! Does pleasure you feel on drinking/smelling/thinking of coffee qualify as a 'consequence'? ;)

    I hope, you've not been missing some of the heaviest compliments I'm paying you in your hurry to read! :(

  19. oh Ketangel, I sincerely apologise and hope for your forgiveness. Since I will watching Sachin in few minutes, I hope you won't shower your justified anger on him, instead of me.

    If not for your silly son, who has been trying to get my attention since this morning..i would have apologised more profusely and elaborately..

    but nothing comes in the way of my reading a compliment..not even my coffee! perhaps i was swimming in the compliments too busy to read the name of the angel who created it in the first place:D

    PS i have become a coffee addict and this is my 4th coffee and i think i will end up with 2 i hope to reduce the quantity..
    the coffee is quite horrible, i seek relief from the consequence of too much caffiene and milk in the system..and the preoccupation with the next coffee, few seconds after the current coffee..

  20. oops !not "your silly son", "my silly son"

  21. It is also important to distinguish between Ketangel and Ketan. Only the latter is me! The former is a fictitious character, found only in mythological books yet to be written! I'm sure with some encouragement, and prodding you'll start writing stories about the kind, benevolent and most supreme of them all--Ketangel!

    Milk in the coffee won't harm you much. Sugar might, though. Caffeine, not sure of its good or bad effects. But of course, any kind of substance dependence is not good on the whole.


  22. working on ketangel post:)

    no coffee with sugar for me..the worst is the substance dependence..which is happenin only when i use a specific experimenting with myself..well milk is low fat and caffeine in the system can cause havoc, when u have a kid though i seem to be slightly immune to coffee or sleeping pills:)
    (sleeping pills is with reference to the blog description, and the zero effect of valium on me couple of times, not to be confused with anythin else)

  23. More later, but here's what I wanted to say for now:

    1. I don't know how you stay updated with responses to your comments on other blogs. Is it by subscribing to RSS feeds, or is it email? I've replied to both of your comments on 'Worship' and 'Favorite blogs' post.

    2. I'd indeed read your changed blog-description, hence the mention of benzodiazepines in my comment on the other post. BTW, valium is diazepam, which is the most prototypical benzodiazepine. :)

    All the best with Ketangel, but remember, except for a few common English alphabet characters in his/her name, Ketangel has nothing in common with me, i.e., Ketan Panchal!



Have a Great Day!