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Aug 4, 2010


We might quibble over four lakh for an air conditioner or the need for a 40 crore balloon. But next month we are going to scream for a Bharat Ratna for CW Organising Committee.

Why? Well, the committee has entered into a contract with consortium of fairness cream manufacturers, sorry marketeers. (All fairness creams are manufactured in one Chinese factory). Hmmm, I sense your horror. You think, Fairness Creams are racist products and we are a Voice Against Racism.

Well fairness creams are not racist because they don't just make you fair, they remove blemishes, dark spots, wrinkles and everything that you don't need and improve your Image.

And whats the biggest blemish one would like to remove, when it comes to the Image of India. Poverty. For those who are shouting Corruption, think what you would mind more, being Perceived Poor or being Called Corrupt?

Now you might wonder how fairness creams can eliminate poverty. Simple. From the next month, ration shops will give out a new body cream. And apart from removing blemishes, dark spots and wrinkles, increasing fairness, along with UV protection, the persons using this cream would become invisible to the cameras. Thanks to the SU4 technology and aloe vera, chandan, saffron, tulsi and other herbal ingredients. And hold your breath, the product comes in a spray form too. So we can finally make invisible the dirt, slums and whatever other things, you hate in the Indian image for the camera. So no more pictures of poor India. And when you control the image, what else is there to control?

The visitors might see the fair poor, one might argue. But we can always claim they are poor Europeans or visitors like them who have created a mess.

But no visuals. Works for the Burmese. Will work for Bharat. So there you go, beautiful images of India minus poor and their dirty stuff. For this the CW Organising Committee deserves a Nobel.

And think of the increased tourism revenues. Invisible poor Indians make India more Incredible. After all, Airbrushing is not new to the world.

Invisible Indians won't mind, they are going to get fair. They know, "A fair complexion has always been associated with success and popularity. Men and women alike desire fairness, it is believed to be the key to a successful life." Why will they reject success? If they want an incentive, those who are invisible on camera could get normal rice instead of rotten rice.

The consortium has sent crores to all the political parties, so in the name of patriotism and national unity, the political party will make an exception to their objection of this product.

The media will be overjoyed because it won't have images to make it feel responsible to report. And it will have more time to cover Rahul Mahajan's marriage. And as a bonus, they have been promised more ad revenue from fairness products.

The consortium was a bit worried about reactions from Independent Indian Bloggers. Even if they form a miniscule percentage of the population, its not right to antagonise them. After all it can affect the Image. Therefore, to encourage Indian bloggers, they have tied up with a blogsite, and will announce a contest on "How hosting CWG 2010 has Improved India's International Image".

Anyone else opposing the idea, would be termed Naxal Sympathiser or Pseudo-Patriot.

Admist the crores, the Committe won't pay even proper wage,
But who cares, as long as it doesn't affect our Image.
In this age, Reality can be dumped backstage
Image is everything and rightfully takes Center stage.

Lets varnish the common and display those with wealth,
Thats a guaranteed formula for success of Commonwealth.


  1. I went to the fair and handsome site through your link and i can't believe they have actually written fairness is related to success... what utter rubbish ... we must be the most racist nation that ever existed no matter how much we cry about being a victim of one...

  2. What lies in the fairness of a skin and why the fuck on Earth is everybody so obsessed about it?

  3. We need to invest in a truth serum. We've had enough of the blatant lies and the impunity with which these officials have been stealing public money.

  4. I totally agree with Rajlakshmi's comment. We are among the most racist and biased nations in the world. White Europeans and white Americans don't see any difference in our skin color. For them, we are all brown. But, we Indians, laughably nit-pick about each difference in each shade of skin color. It sickens me. Yet, it is a big reality. Check this out

  5. Btw, what you said is completely right. We just want to make the poor not the poverty vanish with a magic wand. The rich get richer and more corrupt, and the poor in this country are denied with even the basics of living. I am really disillusioned with all that I see around me.

  6. fairness and sucess..argh! I kinda detest those fairness cream ad's...when will they grow up?

  7. Oh yes! I do agree with the fact that they attribute fairness to success. I recently had written a post on this. Just switch on the TV and check the fairness cream ads...success comes by being fair.

    SRK says if its not possible to be like me, at least you can be famous or some crap of that sort. Its absurd.

    CWG has been controversial. Lot of loopholes, sub standard preparations and yes where will the real India go? They would be wiped out..Poverty is not the image of the emerging superpower you see!

  8. rajlakshmi perhaps we are suffering from stockholm syndrome of the brit raj.

    Arjit not everybody.

    purba wonder when it will hit the market.

    rachna the fair and handsome link came from the cnn's article on the vaseline facebook application. you hit the nail on the head when u talked about poverty vs poor. i had been blog hopping and thats the impression i got.

    madhu they exist because people buy, people buy because they exist. vicious cycle. now media can laugh at these products, but instead celebs and media endorse them.

    insignia YEs:)

  9. WEll what a load of crap.. its such sites and people who think that way who bring it a bad name ... Cant beleive it

    but as you urself mentioned its us , we have given them the impression hence they are just using it for there advantage to make some money...

    and also these celebs and famous people they are same BECAUSE WE MADE THEM.. i always feel it should be THEY running after us cause we can make them and BREAK them but then our mentality is such we run towars BRIGHTNESS and sure thats the reason ...

    i liked you mentions the CWG thats another thing to be ashamed of
    KYA BANEGA IS DESH KA my dad use to say ...

  10. U have nicely presented the facts.

  11. Biting Sarcasm. Most probably they will offer you something more than fairness cream not to tarnish the IMAGE.:) It is really sad that more and more Indians are being fooled each passing day.

  12. hmmm bikramjit, i am not sure i followed ur comment though i got ur attitude

    chandrika thanks

    holy lama, sad indeed. especially the last link on wages.

    rachna i visit sites like to regain my sanity
    i rega

  13. Hi, good to see your blog & your interest in the nation, politics & issues like corruption. I had been to Freedom Park, Bangalore to support the Anna Hazare team recently. I have shared my experience on my blog . Do have a look. The same is shared on IndiBlogger also at :) Puneet


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