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Aug 9, 2010

Kalmadi's Top Ten

Suresh Kalmadi is outraged at the suggestion of incompetence and corruption. "CWG's not a Calamity !" shrieked Kalmadi. But he didn't get to this position without realising the importance of a backup plan. To scorn the critics, he has lined up new responses to those silly allegations. Here are the Top Ten of them.

1. Even iPhone couldn't live up to expectations. Stop having unrealistic expectations. And Jobs didn't resign, did he?

2. Even Obama has Teaching Moments. And don't forget we are a developing nation.

3. China got envious and decided to sabotage the structures by doing an underground nuclear test.

4. The new rupee symbol created a currency confusion. Don't worry every new and old rupee will accounted and tracked after a committee looks into it.

5. The structure seems unsafe, hey thats a cultural reflection of our karma philosophy, Ask Julia. And for your information, she is so inspired by us, she has agreed to the sequel "Cheat, Smirk and Pray".

6. Naxals are firing, Kashmir is burning, North East is burning, Inflation is burning a bigger hole and you want to talk about CWG and few crores? How petty and unpatriotic can you get?

7. We knew you would criticise, thats why we spent 2 crores on getting goras to say they enjoyed CWG.

8. We were advised by the police to not make it a success, since success attracts security concerns.

9. We will answer all your queries, but would you first like to savour samosas from Switzerland, just one lakh a piece.

10. Our hands were tied, we couldn't rename it KommenWealth Games and make it a success.


  1. That was a terrific take on kalamadi and his affairs!

  2. Cool! cool as Kalmadi looks.

  3. thanks sujata and mr.ayyangar

  4. a brilliant take on Kalmadi :D
    totally loved the sarcasm :D

  5. absolutely wonderful.. the sarcasm is hard hitting and at the same time humorous.. :)

  6. Good one. I guess, this is a good way to channelize our disgust :).

  7. Samose with chutney from Australia, Made by Indians, of Indians and for Indians:) Loved the piece.

  8. Awsome!! What a sarcastic take! Enjoyed thoroughly :-)

  9. thanks Rajlakshmi, sushobhan roy, rachna, Holy lama, & Insignia,

  10. An Award awaits you at my blog

  11. clap clap clap clap
    if only these idiots get the true meaning of what you say..
    I bet Mr kalmadi probably will take a print out of this article and show "SEE PEOPLE KNOW HIM, AND HE IS DOING THE RIGHT THING"

    I like the secirity concern .. THATS IT you put your finger on target there SUCCESS is the mantra hence ...

    and China also after the test hijacked the whole infrastructure and set it up in china to bid for the games to happen there ... thats what they did to ROver here they took the whole factory to china and set it there now .. each and every NUT was taken ...

    Hey IDEA what if we as citizens requests all these terrorists, Desh Bhagats, Freedom fighters that they can keep the money then loot from the office bearers, and anyone they kill will not be added to there crime chart.. do you think THAT WILL DO THE TRICK of getting rid of such corrupt people ...

  12. holy lama, thanks on my way to grab it:)

    bikramjit, i think its not just enough to loot and kill these vultures (apologies to vultures). is there something we can do more? i want them to suffer, (not physically but emotionally) humiliation by imprisoning them. we need fast track courts when its corruption at high levels, not just for kasab.
    the security point was my favourite too

  13. yeah courts need to do something, we shud have the JURY system.. and pick one case and go to end.. I know a few will go wrong but then THERE is so much wrong going on in our country that a few more wont hamper anything ...

    FINISH this tareekh business altogether.. and bring back capital punishment.. the biggest humiliation can be attaching the property and money of the so caleld leaders and there RELATIVES too.. make them penniless so they have to work or BEG for a living then they will know ...

  14. i am not sure if i agree with the jury system but lets have a system. criminals get away because, the law just takes too much time.

    yes lets hand pick cases from each political party and make an example of them.

    yes lets free them into the streets of our nation, let them drink the water available, and use the public toilets. because thats far worse than the vip prisons.
    and the same fate for their immediate family.

    btw there was an article in Indian express that i had bookmarked in delicious. that we are not signing a treaty that can help us bring the money stashed abroad because it will help no one!

  15. Wah! Wah! .a must read post....the point on security concern it is too much.. each one sounds like a slap..

  16. LOL! I loved the sarcasm!
    // samosas one lakh per piece.

  17. Well well very well said!

    and he will escape from this issue as well!!

    I wish I could Kill him.


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