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Aug 16, 2010

Shoe-maar's Throw Shoes Syndrome

Breaking News. Other politicians are catching up with Shoe-mar's Philosophy. Union Minister for Chemicals & Fertilizers M.K.Azhagiri has requested the opposition to Throw Shoes, but not Questions. His colleague Railway Minister Mamata Banerjee has specified Throw Shoes but not those of Red Hue. Home Minister P.Chidambaram has pointed out that a shoe had been thrown at him earlier, so if someone wanted to Throw Shoes, Just throw the other Pair. Not to be outdone Digvijay Singh has said "Throw shoes, but only on High Command's instruction."


Meanwhile, Mayawati has now instructed her administration to, Throw Shoes but only Golden ones. Kalmadi by the way, has placed an order with an Italian firm to deliver 50,000 pairs, priced at a lakh each, to be delivered during the Closing Ceremony. He has requested everyone "Throw Shoes, but only those ordered by me".


BJP and the Communists have joined hands to launch an agitation against the ProThrowShoe attitude of the government, since Throwing Shoes is against our Culture. They also pointed out that, the inflation has affected the price of shoes and now the aam aadmi couldn't afford to buy shoes.They hope their mass agitation will throw the Government out of Power. But quickly, Kapil Sibal has shooed away the agitation with a 35 Paise Shoe Scheme.

MNS meanwhile, has launched its own campaign "Throw Shoes, but only those made by Marathi Manoos." 

Since Rahul Mahajan has been hospitalised with chest pains, NDTV Imagine has announced a new reality show with Rakhi Sawant titled "Rakhi ka Shoeciever". The object of the contest is to win the heart and receive the shoes from Rakhi Sawant.

Bollywood stars (minus Shahrukh) have started their own mass agitation. They stood, arm in arm outside Aamir Khan's House chanting "Throw Shoes, Please don't be Coy, You are after all our Midas Touch Boy!"  Kareena has signed an endorsement deal for Size Zero shoes while Katrina has tweeted about her New Mystery Shoe. 


Since the title of Bobby Deol's horror thriller "Help" has not helped in making it a blockbuster, the producers have decided to rename it "Shoe" and hoping to woo and shoo in some audience. A small controversy has been created with the title, as Sanjay Leela Bhansali has just launched a new movie "Hum Shoe Throw Chuke Sanam". And RGV has decided to rename Phoonk 3 as Ssssshhh-Whhoooooo

Baba Sehgal, by the way, has remixed "I am too Sexy for my shoes" with "I am Sexy throwing Shoes" to relaunch his career.

Admist all these Shoe news, Lalit Modi has announced an Indian Shoe Throwing Show. He has promised he will take Shoe Throwing to a new entertainment level, with Cheerleaders, Designer Shoes, Foreign Players and lots of pre-match and post-match parties thrown in between. And has even roped in the sponsor, Jimmy Choo. While Modi has tweeted it will be a "ShowStopper", Shashi Tharoor has simply tweeted "Sho(ow) Shoepid".

In an unrelated development, four new Chinese factories have been setup to manufacture shoes. A leading multinational bank has launched a new Credit Card, exclusively for  purchasing your Dream Shoes. And has launched an internet campaign titled Shoe Shop with Bipasha Basu. I have received 32 junk smses about products which will help me throw shoes accurately. I will delete them after smsing my replies to NDTV Times Now & IBN on their Shoe Polls

Then I will be off, to get the blessings of Shoe Swami who has arrived from the Himalayas. My friend assures me, for a four figure fee, he will throw a shoe at me and I will become a very Popular Blogger. But I am a very scientific person, the Shoe Swami is just a back up plan, I have already bought Fair and Shiny Shoe Whitening Cream. Don't I know a person can be successful, only by being fair and having a fairer Shoe?
If you have a short fuse,
Or if you want to blow away your blues,
Or simply want to be on the News,
Throw Shoes, Throw Shoes.

Wake up, those who mentally snooze
Hey, Use any excuse
Only a shoe you are going to lose
Throw shoes, Throw Shoes.

Target those who disagrees with your views.
But Watch out though, some might reuse.
Do it before it fades away with overuse.
Throw Shoes Throw Shoes.

Hmmm, you think, this post has no use
If you don't mind standing in a long queue
Hey at me, you can always throw shoes!
But smelly socks, sorry I will refuse.

with sincere apologies to those mentioned above.


PS : If you have heard a constant buzz behind you ear "Shoemaar, shoemaar" and you have not been drinking, doing drugs etc, than it could be the voice of our own sweet Ketangel. Just throw a shoe, towards the sky. Aargh angel will make sure you hit Ketangel. And you will be featured in Times of Angels, Anglie (not Jolie) Times. 


PPS : If you are wondering , who the #@$ $# is Ketangel, you should read Divine Justice T20 Style- 2


PPPS : If you have read the post and want to become Angelised in my post like Ketan, then you would have to be a regular top commentator. And thats not just typing a" nice post" comment. He reads the entire post and faces my cross examination. The logic being, you have to face a death equivalent to become an angel. And there are many bloggers who would choose death, over reading my blog.

26 comments:

  1. Hahaha! You truly s-pair noone! ;) But am disappointed, there was Ketangel in the post. :( I'm jealous of Ketangel, I want a shoe thrown at him in your post! Otherwise, I won't throw that shoe at you that you so desperately want me to throw! :P

    Too good! Very impressive pun. Very much enjoyed reading. :)

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  2. So, by the time I return, the blog post mutates? ;)

    Anyway, thanks to your mutation, I made a profound life-changing discovery just now: If the word 'IMPossible' says, "I-M-Possible", then surely the word 'MNS' says, "M-N-S"? ;)

    Anyway, unlike you who can edit her blog posts, I can't edit my comments here. That was supposed to be "there was *no Ketangel in the post". :)

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  3. Very creative and funny :). The elite gang of shoe receivers. In George Bush's case, I would have loved it had the shoe actually hit him. But, the old man had such good reflexes.

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  4. Hahahaha..Dear!! I so loved this post. What a sarcastic post this was. Very impressive; oh much beyond that. No words.

    :-)

    The recent padyatra by Congress in Karnataka; ministers had to buy shoes. They didnt want to shell out much money in buying shoes.

    So they say

    We walk for a cause
    To reduce our belly
    In turn fool people
    But we have no money
    Please throw shoes
    It would help :-)

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  5. LOl..uve pictured this well..:0

    Probably soon enough we may have our neta's endorsing and selling special hit-it-on-him shoes which can ruin a persons face but just rubbing it on him...:P :D

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  6. @ Rachna:

    It's one big conspiracy. How rarely (or almost never) does the shoe hit the intended target! How come? ;)

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  7. ketan thats because those who throw haven't read shoe throwing for dummies

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  8. ketan i have tweeted the replies. but as per the latest records,there will be a ketangel post .will work on it.

    yes rachna it would have been nice, but bush made good jokes about it too.

    insignia rofl! (cha i forgot the readdy brothers)

    madhu what an idea madamji:D

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  9. enjoyed reading
    nice poem
    throw the shoe

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  10. Shoes all around!
    From Kashmir[Srinagar] to Kanyakumari
    हम एक हैं ;)

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  11. hahahahah.. i am rofl :)..
    loved it.and rated it also :)
    ~max respects to the creativity

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  12. hey gr8 post ya..and haan ketan question is right: how rarely (or almost never) does the shoe hit the intended target! enjoyed reading this...cheers buddy

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  13. Salutations to thee
    It tooo good
    If the shoes had brains, maybe they will feel outraged being thrown at and about everywhere

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  14. holy lama, i think instead of being trodden upon, wouldn't they welcome flying?

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  15. Hahaha! Nice one there! And I'm touched, not by the shoe (remember, I am *not* Ketangel!), but by your words. :) Thanks!

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  16. hiii
    wow!
    what a post! mazza aa gaya!

    and the poem 'throw shoes throw shoes' is just too gud!

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  17. as thanks:)

    ketan, well just wanted to let you know i appreciate you, not for the number of comments you type, but for the way u read & comment.

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  18. The bug has bitten. Shoes flinging about, almost never hitting the target, nevertheless creating a sensation.

    Enjoyed reading your post and am still clutching my tummy, laughing my guts out!

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  19. :) Enjoyed reading ur post. :)

    Wise donkey u r really very WISE. :)

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Have a Great Day!