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Aug 31, 2010

Mr.Fevicol fixed

Kalmadiji has claimed the unaccounted crores in the CWG account books were in fact the crores paid to bookies and Pakistani cricketers to tarnish the reputation of cricket. He pointed out that he had hit two birds with one stone. "We are doing a service to the nation, when we disgrace cricket and revive interests in non-cricketing sports. And Pakistan which had been milking international sympathy with its flood victims, had been put in its place as the International Evil, with this expose", rejoiced Mr.Kalmadi. Getting misty eyed his assistant said "The PR propoganda, of Million victims in Pakistan, has been replaced by The Millions Pakistan cricketers make. Successfully the public memory has been erased and perspective not displaced."

Kalmadiji was full of praises for the Swiss Management Consultant Mr.Fevicol, who is known to fix any problem. "I approached him a fortnight back and he was able to fix the problem on the spot!" effused Mr.Kalmadi. When a smart journalist pointed out that, India would have to pay few more crores in the form of consultation fee, Mr.Kalmadi rubbished it with. "We are hosting a world class event. And we need world class consultants. To suggest otherwise is unpatriotic."

Meanwhile a paid journalist munching Swiss made Samosa enquired if the "Allegations of Corruption in CWG, could have been a paid news by BCCI to distract attention from the IPL saga."

Mr.Kalmadi magnanimously refused to target Mr.Pawar. But admitted, "We are exploring if those allegations had come from a section within BCCI which wanted to ruin the aam admi's interests in other sports, to further the commercial interests of IPL."

When asked if Mr.Fevicol had made any suggestions for making ARR's theme song more inspiring, Kalmadi shook his head and said, "When we approached Mr.Fevicol we didn't know realise a desi talent was available. We have now approached Rakhi Sawant, and she has promised not just Insaaf but also Inspiration."

Informed sources however claim, Rakhi is an eyewash, on Mr.Fevicol's advice, Anu Malik has been hired to remix Waca Waca and it will be sung and performed by Bappi Lahiri (in Na'vi costume and an extra kilo of gold).

Update : Stampedes have been witnessed all over the world, with NRIs clamouring to watch the opening ceremony of CWG. More sources have confirmed that Bappida, indeed would be performing dressed in a Na'vi costume with an extra kilo of gold and will be singing Khelo, GaOO, Khudo, Nacho, Khaa-OO.
And with soaring ticket sales, Kalmadi has been seen thundering, Avatar Jake style "WE DON'T NEED THEM, WE HAVE, US!!!"


  1. hii

    nice satire :)
    Kalmadi has runied all hopes of even a modest CWG mgt. and rakhi sawant needs help!

  2. haha inspiration from rakhi? welll...

  3. he he heh Only you could have pulled this one off.. NICE ONE WD ... he he he he

    Rakhi sawant hmmm wonder if she can help
    but mr fevicol I hope he can

    and the BCCI spoof I have to laugh you know it might just be the truth he hehehehe :)

  4. oh no before i gave the final touch got 3 comments!

    thanks as, ramesh and bikram:)

  5. Well again Only you cud have come out with this.. and anu malik and bappi lehri thats a blast from the past he heh ehe :) I have to laugh now please please this though is a very serious issue yet i cant stop laughing

    I guess i shud buy the opening ceremony tickets to see all this splendour wowowowowowo

    India here I comeeeeeeeeeeeeeee thank you Kalmadi Ji for such a extravaganza ... HAIL corruption ... HAIL all the corrupt people .. What a show we gonna GET Yummmmyyyyyyyyyyyy

  6. bikram of course you must come, how can you miss bappi lahiri doing the navi dance
    oh i want to write another post just on this

  7. See, you're lucky. You get comments without propaganda. Look at me, here. :,(

    Anyway, totally enjoyed this. Very imaginative, as usual. :D

    Liked the last lines the best with Na'vi costume. :D

  8. hey i didn't understand what propoganda? i loved it and want to do an exclusive post on it.

  9. haha nothing in life more precious than humor..what say buddy?

  10. This was a great satire.
    U have become a satirical expert
    CWG's will be success for sure. ;)

  11. hahaha..the rakhi's inspiration..and bappi's khaooo... you dont leave anyone :P..
    right from title till end..the satire has been maintained :)..parliament should get a feed of this blog..they'll be eager to's whose turn the next :)

  12. unknown, please no suggestions like that! then they will say I will have to take their approval before posting like blackberry!
    thanks, almost didn't post it. but couldn't resist posting:)

  13. I loved this post. Pure, unadulterated fun :) Satire is your forte. Did you hear about the secret alliance brewing between the two greats - The great Dare-to-think Arindam Chowdhary aka The free laptop giver and our very own welath-manager Mr Kalamadi? It'd be interesting to see what they come up with :)

  14. Bappi da with Navi costume and extra kilo of gold...Oh my God!! Awesome. I am your fan already!! You are too good when it comes to satires!!

  15. Very funny, and I loved the Avatar form of Bappi lahiri with the hilarious lyrics :). Great satire.

  16. lovely WD! We could probably fix the hands of our politico's and te mouth of rakhi! Any help?

  17. Bapida singing will add the crowning glory to the games:P You are tooooo goood.

  18. ajay will have to think about it, but i am scared of this chowdry to be honest.

    insignia thanks but too kind:)

    rachna thanks:)

    madhu even mr.fevicol will run away from it:D hehhehe

    holy lama thank you:)

  19. Great post ! The CWG seems to inspire a lot of sarcastic posts. Just did one . Check M(ulti) P(aisa) Games..


  20. thanks ugich but i had visited your blog and posted comments earlier:)

  21. Hehehe the famous CWG goof-up !!!
    Excellently put and good arrangement. And Rakhi sawant what to say about her?! :P
    Well don't even want to imagine Bappida in that kinda dress though it would be very funny. Sans the corruption which has come to surface, I must say India should stop making a mockery of its own democracy, which I question?!

  22. tanvi nimkar are you questioning the purpose of democracy? didn't quite get the last part:)

  23. Cant explain how i dropped in here, enjoyed the satire going round in loops !!!


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