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Nov 27, 2006

Finding Friendships

After thinking about it, I realised, life is tough for the singles. I mean the lucky, independent people, who live away from home, who dont have to share their income or remote control with anyone. If Singles are reading this post, buddy, I feel so sorry for you.

1. You have to put up with endless relatives who want to know why you havent been married yet..
2. And finding the soulmate isnt easier either. You dont want your family telling “I told you so..“ for the rest of your life. (And thanks to female foeticide, we have less girls than guys, and therefore, its worse for the guys. But that of course is a small price for being alive.)
3. But if there is anything tougher than finding and maintaining romantic relationships, its finding friends.

At school and college it was easy. You just had to flaunt something to get attention. And then talk about sharing and get the friend, who is too tired to move on to someone else. But now everyone's earning. And its not about just having any friend, but having the right friend.

1.Beware of friends who are married.
They will tell you its a wonderful thing to be married, and for every topic you discuss, you will get to know, what the spouse thinks about it, even if its just you two discussing it.
And if you point it out, the friend could pout and talk about twin souls, and make you feel bad about not having romance in your life.
For every plan you two make, the approval from the spouse is essential.
And worse the friend might team up with the spouse and get some terrible blind dates for you.
Hey you have enough relatives doing that, why would you want your friends too, to rub it in.

2.If there is any kind of friend worse than the married friend, its the friend who is married and has kids.
The kid will break even the stuff, the salesperson said was unbreakable,
throw away your remote or your mobile (a part of your soul),
dump every eatable on the floor after crumbling it to pieces,
hide away your keys,
spill water on your office paper work
and cry if you dont give the important papers, to make a boat.
Get hurt and Wail (and you will be blamed for not having a child friendly environment)
And you will be expected to be uncomplaining, and comment "Oh an adoring, sweet kid." If you dont, be prepared to go on a guilt trip, for being an insensitive, selfish person.
And if you think its ok to be friendly with parents whoose kid hasnt started walking, then be prepared to be assaulted by endless photos and videos of their darling baby. And you will have to come up with an original comment for every photo/ video clip and have a photographic memory of all the comments you made earlier, since comparisions would arise. It could go something like
"So you think the blue dress looks better than the green dress, last week. But last month you thought the green was better than the previous blue, is it the shade or the cut, that has made you changed your mind?"

3.If you think, Singles would emphatise with you, sigh, it isnt so easy. Its not easy telling the opposite gender. Hmmm, I want to be just friends with you. It could be treated as an insult or worse, you being coy (if a girl) or corny (if a guy). And the person could assume you really want to have a romantic relationship.

4.If you think, forget the opposite gender, let me search within my gender.
Well, you might get one, provided you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend.
Because, almost every single person is searching for boyfriend or girlfriend, and when they have a friend who doesnt have a romantic relationship, it might give a misleading impression of their sexual orientation. (Simply put, if you dont have a romantic relationship, you could be gay and they wouldnt want others to get the idea, they too are gay).

5.Virtual Friendships are not a bad idea.
You have an idea of what the person likes and dislikes. But then one is never sure, if its hacker, or serial killer, or the uncle you dislike, trying to do analyse you, or your colleague, who wants to tell Boss what you actually think about work. (What?? You think these people can never be on the net?)

6.Younger ones.
If you think you can move few years down the age bar, and have a fun filled friendship with younger ones, well to them, you are still an oldie, and its tough to be friendly to a person who keeps calling you "Uncle" or "Aunty".

7.Older ones.
If you think you can move up a few years on the age bar and have a fun filled friendship with older ones, well its tough to have a friendship with an oldie, who doesnt want to face reality, and wants to be on first name basis and not the respectful "Uncle" or "Aunty". (Plzzzz, is it so tough to understand, you dont use first names, because you dont want others to think, you too are an oldie? !!!)

8.Tooooo Young.
All kids are not brats, and if you think you will go out and be friendly to kids, who are entitled to call you "Uncle" or "Aunty", well you have to head to some orphanage. But just a minute.
If you are a guy the world would wonder, if you are a paedophile.
And if you are a girl, the world would wonder, if you had been pregnant as a teenager and you have a child in that orphanage and thats the reason behind you being single.

9.Sigh. There are plenty of old age homes. But instead of being thankful for your visit, the people there could act human, and ask why you are still being single, and be just like other people in your family. The people you have run away from.

10.And there are other endless complications in friendships. You dont want someone too poor, who might be interested in you just for the money. And unfortunately those richer than you, think you would be crass enough to like them for just the money. You dont want someone who is from a different caste or religion, for they might not agree you are the Best or the Oppressed. And you dont want someone from a different state, because you both might disagree on water sharing or the superior city.

To conclude, if you are single, and still have some friends, stick with them, even if they bore you to death. Its tough enough to find your soul mate, why waste the energy on finding new friends?

Finding good Friends isnt easy, but its tougher for those who are Single, and Want to Mingle, in a Friendly way..

Previous Posts on Singles
Van Gogh on Valentine
Single and Still Complete
Perplexed about Premarital Sex?
Life007 is not a guy?
Single & Ready to Mingle
Before Walking Off into the Sunset
All Posts on Relationships


  1. Perfect donks... Perfect!!

    It gets to me, when relatives do act nosey. All the time. Like I've only got "that thing" to do in my life.

  2. vaibhav i am tired of telling people dont let family or friends tell you what to do..

    its a similar situation for me, but a different thing:)

  3. hmmm vaibhav, both at each other's blog the same time i guess, was reading ur reviews when i got ur comment:)

  4. Gaya, very true. I remember when I was single, every cousin, aunty, uncle, mom's friends, my married friends, every single person seemed to be only concerned about me getting married :-p.

    Well, before marriage, its marriage. After marriage, its another story about kids ;-).

    BTW I wanted to comment on your previous post, but blogger ate it away :-p. That was a truly shocking story..

  5. People are always around you to say what is right or what is wrong and to give a zillion opinions which are not needed.I am learning to avoid them all and do what i feel is the best.Before marriage or after marriage i am not going to let them make me lead life their way.
    How have you been Gaya,profile picture rocks di:)

  6. Finding friends is easy: Just be one!

  7. well said; finding new friends, customers and employees is easier than retaining them. some bit of ego may have to be sacrificed sometimes but its no big deal in the long term.

  8. "And its not about just having any friend, but having the right friend"

    So true - am still very very close to a chosen few from school & college - and try as I may it's hard to find anyone who comes even close to being as cool as these guys, in any way.

    Thank God for old friendships :)

    Been a while - dropped in to say "hello & hope you're doing well!"

  9. deeps yeah and re kids do i know about it:D

    the story was fictional, but i doubt if far from truth in many homes..

  10. alapana yeah !!!
    and thanks :D
    i am enjoying some of the best moments of my life:)

  11. well said; finding new friends, customers and employees is easier than retaining them
    ??? whiskey priest

  12. beautiful analysis...I agree with all the points....

  13. lollzz well written. especially about the married frenz bit :-)

  14. i meant that one may be able to impress people for a fleeting moment thro' chicanery maybe but the veil will be off sooner than later.

  15. shrawan and mavster thanks:)

    whiskey priest aaaaah yes, absolutely:)


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