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Jan 26, 2005

Before Walking off into the Sunset

Aaah the Romantic Movies and Mills & Boons ! The couple get married, walk off towards the sunset and live happily ever after. Hmmm but before you decide on the marriage, do think twice about your mate and the choice and your commitment. Don't get married if you want to get married for the following reasons.

1. The Age
Of course each one has their own "age". Sometimes we determine it, sometimes its parents,friends,relatives and the neighbour next door.
When you are sure the Age has arrived, look around but don't decide unless you are sure of some other things too.

2. Wannabe
All the friends have got married. Surely I should too.
If your friend goes to a dentist, would you go too? Just because your friends do it doesn't mean you should do it too or importantly that it is good for you.

3.I want to have sex
Variations I want more free sex,
or I am tired of waiting, I wish someone made love to me etc
Marriage is not just about sex, though its one of the main aspect in marriage. Marriage doesnt guarantee good sex though. And sex with a person you dislike is worse than no sex.

4.What will they say
If I go on waiting everyone will think there is something wrong with me or that I am an homosexual etc
Never ever do something only because otherwise people will "talk". If not on your sexuality those who want to gossip, will gossip on something else. I agree its not pleasant when you seem to wait for eternity and you get proposals from the same sex. But hey you cant please all the people at all the time.
And I agree spinster is not as pleasant as bachleor but the society is not going to be there for you. Its your life.

5. I want more money
I want to improve my lifestyle. I will get a dowry if I marry or if I marry and be a homemaker I dont have to work etc
If you marry someone for money, be prepared that the other person will marry you for money too. And also be prepared that the spouse won't stick with you when you go through sticky times.

6.I want to cash in on my looks
I wont deny that a person will get more proposals based on looks in their twenties than in their forties (unless you have some rare gene or visit the plastic surgeon). But if all you have to offer is looks, you won't have it for eternity. And some better looking person can still come along. And if you find it tough to believe looks aren't everything, think about Princess Di.

7. Hot!
Oh yeah fine if it is temporary. The person looks hot and if the way to spend some time with that person is marriage and even if it is temporary, why not?
Tell innocent divorcee and see the smirk.
The second hand tag is tough. And it will be tougher to convince your soul mate, of your commitment next time around. And if you think you are going to find endless queue of "hot"people, well even if you are rich, they are going to be interested in the riches not you.

8.I am lonely
Variations, I am bored (I have achieved all I want so why not try something new etc.), would be good to have someone around the house and share some chores and bring some money.
If you are lonely get a pet, If you are bored you need a hobby not a hubby, if you want someone to help around the house get a housekeeper, and a spouse might bring money but can also spend your money too.

9.Duty
Parents want to finish their duty, grandparents want to see their grandchild before they die etc. Variations, I want to do my duty to the human race.
Its your life and your relationship. Sure
you are eternally grateful to them. But show your gratitude in some other way. And regarding your duty to human race, pay your taxes and use less plastic and fuel etc.

10. I want to have fun on marriage day
Variations, I want to wear that dress (which one is supposed to wear on marriage date), be the center of attention etc
Throw a party and get some other dress. Sure in marriage someone else could bear the party expenses but if the marriage doesnt work, divorce lawyers are more expensive compared to the cost of couple of parties.

11.My boyfriend/girlfriend proposed
Dating is not the same as marriage. Everyone tries to be on the best behaviour during dates.Dating is similar to advertisements and Marriage is similar to maintainence and after sales service.

12. Good friends
Our families are good friends. The mate also is good looking and decent. (i.e
looks sane and no criminal history) Seems to be interested and our family is keen. Ok love can be develop after marriage too. But people are pleasant to strangers, dont take it as a guarantee. Refer to my earlier advise on dating too.

My parents didn't have a problem. Why would I have?Try watching one channel for a day without remote control. Your parents watched Doordarshan and didnt complain, did they. Can you watch for 15 minutes a stuff you don't like on TV? Our lifestyle has changed. We expect to make the best out of every moment in life. And your mate is going to expect the same too. Just be prepared for it.

Marriage is not a guarantee to make life better. It is not a Tablet which will cure for All your problems. But its like a Tonic which can Enhance your life.

PS : If you want to marry because you want to enter the records books on the number of marriages or because of a new reality tv programme, I really don't know what to say other than Aaargh:)

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11 comments:

  1. another amazing post of yours!!!
    wonder why no one has commented on it !

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  2. thanks kalpesh:)

    well it was on o3, and this i transferred after coming 2 blogspot:) hence no comments:)

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  3. Wow u have really researched the topic. Wud be interesting to know ur thoughts on "When one shud marry".

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  4. annonymous, interesting thought:)
    well perhaps i will do a post soon on that though i believe its to be a personal decision.

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  5. Wow, just noticed that you have me as one of your links - thanks so much, now I feel pressured to up the ante and do something great with my blog - Whew!

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  6. Hey Gaya,

    EXCELLENT!!!
    No other word can fit in better to describe this post. I got to know so many things. Infact I never knew all these facts. No wonder u named ur blog as WISE DONKEY. Thanks a Ton,
    Lust4life

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  7. thanks lust4life:)

    well actually it was a spontaneous post in o3 , o3 deleted by blog so reposted it here..:)

    i do believe a lot in what i hav written though i am yet to write on when to marry:)

    and this is one of my favourites:)

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  8. well written and logical post, Liked it.

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  9. These are really good thoughts to remember while deciding for a marriage .This really helps to make my understanding better.

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Have a Great Day!