Intolerance

Yesterday I came across this blog http://o3.indiatimes.com/STRAIGHTforaCHANGE and posted a comment, got a reply and posted another comment. But today I found all comments had been deleted. But, I keep a record of all long messages I post. So I wanted to post a �Rage� minus the essential words & type �ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ..� in that blog. But just posted hmmm and posting in my Hmmm -

My 1st message, the blog writer's reply and my reply.

I know it will be inconvenient for all to read the comments without reading the post. But already this post is long enough so didnt want to add the post too. Anyway I have pasted the contents of that post as the first comment for your reference. Assuming of course that some what to read further:)

Keeping a record of the messages I post. Does it make me paranoid or meticulous? Hmmm:)

Comments
# re: Gay -- the grey areas
stinks of prejudice ur last comment on our parents did not "confuse" their orientation. what if ur parents couldnt have got pregnant "naturally"and had taken help of a fertility clinic. would u say that was not the way God intended to create me so i dont want to be born? if hetrosexual couples can get help of developments in fertility science, why cant homosexual couples do the same. re ur theory of what happens to children raised by gays or lesbians. or u going to tell me todays lesbians r daughters of single women , gays, motherless sons of yday?

i did get bit fed up of all the blogs on homosexuality, but after reading ur blog, realise why they r written.

hetrosexuals dont cheat ????and what abt people who r bisexual?

re. calf love of towards same sex, oh plssssss r u speakin for urself or for everyone.

yeah acceptance does help. now what else r u going to justify? wheatish complexioned people shouldnt blame the society etc?

re people who come out of closet, sure its tough for them. why not just because of prejudice but people who "justify"their prejudice

and what if a man or woman are infertile or have low sperm count. so they come together even though they cant raise a family? are they immoral and in the same level as homosexuals. or if a hetrosexual couple have sex but not just for adding a member to their family, r they committing a sin.?

and if u think sex is for procreation than safe sex is wrong?

i just cant understand what gives me the right to judge what someone else does in their bedroom?
10/29/2004 2:25 PM gayathri

# re: Gay -- the grey areas
Gayathri,
You're attributing motives to me, when I don't have any. Gayathri, all that I have tried to do is to look at the this raging topic (at least on our blogs) from a different angle. Let me present my views to each of your ?????s.

You've asked me, "what if ur parents couldnt have got pregnant "naturally"and had taken help of a fertility clinic." My reply is: That would still make me their child, and I still would have enjoyed that special love and warmth that ONLY male-female parents could give. You may talk about donor sperm/egg. But, these are emerging issues, and you cannot gainsay what an adopted or IV-fertilised baby of a gay couple would feel about the whole thing, and what emotional and psychological problems it will have to face as it grows up, brought up as it were by same-sex parents, simply because we don't have enough data, i.e. we don't have a sizeable number of children adopted by gays/lesbians to do study and come to a conclusion. But, it has been found that the initial 'love' or attraction that draws two gays/lesbians together soon wears off in a MAJORITY of the
cases. Children always act as a cementing factor in a heterosexual marriage; but the same cannot be said of homosexual marriage because the child cannot have the genes of BOTH of them. I guess that explains my last remark. My last remark sums up my sense of relief that I didn't have to go through any emotional deprivation because I had a mother to fall back upon for emotional support, and a father to look up to for guidance. It is said that the mother is the heart of a home and the father its head. Two heads or two hearts do not make a healthy family setup.

Your next query is: "hetrosexuals dont cheat ????and what abt people who r bisexual?" I've written in my blog (I quote), "Promiscuity and infidelity are found in heterosexual relationships too but only to a limited extent. The fear of pregnancy and abortion acts as a deterrent against indiscriminate indulgence in heterosexual relationships." May I add that heterosexual two-timing is not as easy as homosexual two-timing simply because women (a majority of them) just refuse to play ball. (Sorry for that slanguage.)

Your next query: "re. calf love of towards same sex, oh plssssss r u speakin for urself or for everyone." I don't know about you, but a majority of us have experienced this calf-love. It is a 'crush' without any sexual undertone. If you never experienced this, may be, because you never came across any interesting teacher, relative or senior student of your sex during your teens (assuming you are into 20s or 30s or 40s and so on).

Your next question: "and what if a man or woman are infertile or have low sperm count. so they come together even though they cant raise a family? are they immoral and in the same level as homosexuals. or if a hetrosexual couple have sex but not just for adding a member to their family, r they committing a sin.?"

Gayathri, you are looking at sex, whereas I'm looking at the emotions involved. You are looking at procreation only, while I'm looking also at the social and ethical issues involved. The inability of a male-female couple to raise a family is not a sin. And, their coming together sets a healthy standard for the society. The same is the case with the heterosexual couple who use contraceptives. They send out just one message of Nature to the progeny: A man-woman marriage is a natural one.

Finally, you've concluded your comment with, "i just cant understand what gives me the right to judge what someone else does in their bedroom?" That precisely is what the society is trying to tell: The society says: "Who are we to judge what two men/women do in their bedrooms (closets)?" The problem comes only when they try to bring it out of the bedroom (closet) into the society, asking for their marriage to be solemnised, etc. This rocks the very foundation of the society.

Generally for long ones, I write my replies offline and then post. I didnt make any major changes to the following after posting it online

Re.Sex is for procreation only and family marriage is for procreation only
"The Supreme Force or Nature, which is responsible for creation or evolution of animals (including human beings), intended sex for procreation. Since same-sex relationships defeat this very purpose they are unnatural, and are opposed to Nature. Heterosexual relationships serve a lot of purposes in Nature�s scheme of things. A man and woman come together under marriage for sexual gratification, companionship, and above all for raising a family that continues the primordial act of creation. On the other hand, a homosexual relationship provides just sexual gratification and companionship. "
vs
"The inability of a male-female couple to raise a family is not a sin. And, their coming together sets a healthy standard for the society."

Now you say sex can be for other purpose than procreation, and a relationship for other purpose than procreation than why not a same sex relationship for purpose other than procreation.
so what is the difference between two hetrosexual couples who cant raise a family and come together for sexual gratification and companionship and two homosexual couples who do the same. just how does one set a healthy standared for the society while the other doesnt?

where are the studies to prove it
re HIV i think the basic concept is not about which sex the partners are but safe sex. Are you aware of the no. of women in India who have got
infected because their husbands went to commercial sex workers/other women AND had unsafe sex. Telling homosexuals to stay in the closet is not the way to deal with HIV. Safe sex is.

re "calf love"
perhaps just because you didnt meet more than one interesting person and that too other than your own sexuality why do u have to assume that i "never came across any interesting teacher, relative or senior student of your sex during your teens " so if a teenager develops a crush without sexual tones , in a society which accepts homosexuality on 2 persons of either sex, the teenager will become a bisexual?

what if one of the partner dies
should one remain single
" Children always act as a cementing factor in a heterosexual marriage; but the same cannot be said of homosexual marriage because the child cannot have the genes of BOTH of them."
since the new partner will not have the child's genes or should one marry again because you need
" mother to fall back upon for emotional support, and a father to look up to for guidance."

please stop sterotyping females and males
"soft, yielding, submissive, and hence feminine)" " dominant parner (male)"
"I had a mother to fall back upon for emotional support, and a father to look up to for guidance."
if you havent met men who have heart, or women with brains, doesnt mean they dont exist. men and women both have hearts and head and know how to use them :)

guys arent heartless and women arent brainless. according to me those who assume this are both heartless and brainless:)

(The last line of course i couldnt make them bold in the comment.)In that blog there was another comment, I dont remember the name. The person asked me what if 2 Muslims marry who will say talaq first or something along that line and I replied, thats why we need a uniform civil code.

Thankfully I am not that meticulous or paranoid or whatever to keep a record of All the messages that I post :)

PS : If any one of u keep a record of msgs u post, do mention, I will feel little less crazy :)

posted on Saturday, October 30, 2004 11:13 AM in o3