Aargh Diaries - Help I dont have a girlfriend

Dear Aargh

I was too busy studying in college. And for the past couple of years too busy working.Now everyone is asking me about a girlfriend.Its not that I dont want a girlfriend, its just that I am not desperate to have a girlfriend and am not keen on the girls I have met so far. So what do I say to people who think I am a lousy loser because I dont have a girl.

PS : Give me a serious reply and not "tell them you are gay" reply.

Aaargh Advises

Mate heres 12 stuff you can say
and none of them say, hey I am gay.

1."She is in Russia. She is helping the Russian children, after the terrorist attack last year. She was in BBC for half minute last month. Didnt you see her?" Start talking about Russia and the weather there etc.

2."We have split up and I am still recovering." And give a distant look. Write a few sob blogs, and send the links to all your friends.

3."Oh I will have one as soon as she dumps you. “
(Its worth the look on the "friends" face. But you cant tell that to women, unless they are lesbians)

4."Why should I tell you about her?" (Puts the guy on defensive, use it if you dont want a relationship with that person)

5."She is busy with her career and doesnt have time for fun."(Keep it vague)

6."Who needs a girlfriend, would you get a cow for milk." (Dont use it with women around. Otherwise they too will start saying that, and other guys too wont get girlfriends)

7."Statistically its impossible for every Indian to get a girlfriend." And talk about the declining sex ratio and that in many states the child marriage ratio is above 50% You can always use wisedonkey's blog for additional information.(For heavensake unless you want others to avoid you like a plague, dont say it)

8."She is a police officer, so busy."(Thats just for intimidation)

9. "Well she is a coworker so wants to keep it a secret." (Works if you have 15 single women at work not if you have just a couple)

10."She died last month." Look distraught, no questions will be asked. If they dig, mention a long battle with cancer (dont say HIV)

11.“She is a celebrity and thinks if I talk about her, tabloids, will immediately pay you and publish it. She wants to introduce me in a press conference, not through a tabloid.”

12."She is a Saurav Ganguly fan and has kept a vrath with Durga Ma. She will come out with me only when Saurav scores a double hundred in a Test match against a strong team and proves his critics wrong."

Any other suggestions???

Aargh Diaries is a fictional series.

Suggestions
Samy : " My girl friend is an agent with RAW..SO...now you see her, now you dont!!"the asker will run a mile:)) neways , ppl always accept what we say with conviction, isnt it??

R.Subramanian : she has gone to act in a megaserial and would return after completing it...

Sunny : She is Ms.India! She's by my side alwayz!! 'U' need red-coloured glasses to see her!"....or..."We are waiting for Halley's comet to appear next, before we get engaged! Will definitely invite u to my engagement if you are around then, pal!" ;))

Idiot : well she knows you but she doesnt like u .she kinda hates u, she thinks ur a dumb fellow and actually hates me for talking to you!

Idiot : my girlfriend? ohh she has just taken up shooting and practices using the good old method of placing a apple on ones head and aiming for the apple. but she is new as i told u so am afraid to see her or talk to her u wanna meet her ? go to the shooting club an don forget the apple

Dinesh : She's from a very pious/ orthodox family and her parents aren't cozy abt party/ going out. (Been There :-(

lust4life " My GF has been promoted last month and is living in USA since then "

Wisedonkey : Told her I am a blogger and could get sued. She has dumped me, in order to avoid being sued too.

Prasad hey dint u know ur gal is actually 2 timing...

ramses : "i have a life!!!!":D:D

ramses : "can't manage expenses, live on a limited income"!

idiot actually am dying to tell her name. but she happened to be a nun and she is cursed that the first person who is goin to know abt this gonna die. i think u wont mind dying for a freind like me

idiot i will tell if u promise not to hurt her!!!(can be risky)

idiot she is trained by wisedonkey ;) ;) ;)

metallica:just_4_geeta "My previous GF was stolen by a friend like you and so, I don't want to lose my current one by telling you about her." ...

mountainaura My girlfriend hails from the infamous aborginals tribes of Australia (austrailia) !! Her folks are always hungry for a kill you see........so, do u still wanna meet her !!

yes-G "She's Pakistani. The govt. is delaying her visa."

Gopala_G0pala Wear a t shirt that says, "Others have girlfriends but I get all the ***"

BangaloreGuy said...
1) she really cant stand single people(men) anymore!2) she's taking care of our infant.3) she's probably making out with my other gf at her place4) she's obsessed with black magic - and spends time casting spells on people she thinks are my pals, and she knows you're a good pal of mine!thats all I could come up with, right after work