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Dec 19, 2006
"Your Mom wanted me to talk with you." I wince and look away.
"Its about you being a plumber." I make a face.
"Its been months, and now its not funny."
I shrug and say "Maybe it wasnt meant to be funny".
She sighs. "You gave up your job, so soon, after His death to become a Plumber. She thought there could be some connection, and thought I could convince you."
He, was her dead husband. One of my best friends, like her.
"Haven't we been through this before?"
She gets mad, and I cant help smiling, and as usual, that just makes her more mad.
"Dont start on what I should do. There must be some reason, to be a Plumber" she yells, and then quickly lowers her head, realising she has spoken too loudly. I smile more broadly, and she fumes.
I stretch my legs, sip my coffee and say
"Since I opted to become a plumber, many theories have been floating around regarding my motives. Why dont you try to see if anyone of them, makes sense". And I remove a sheet from my pocket and read from it, since I had come well prepared.
"1. Childhood dream.
This is by those who cant think of anything. And for anything and everything, think it goes back to childhood. I wonder if they would have mentioned the Childhood Dream Theory, if I had become an autopsy surgeon.
2. A Spy in disguise
Err please go back to your movies and novels. Truth is stranger than fiction.
3. All About a Girl and a Broken Heart
If the elderly mention childhood dreams, the guys my age, think the only reason a guy would go crazy (i.e decide to become a plumber) would be because of a girl. Maybe they think, I hide my tears due to the broken heart, by blaming the leaky pipes (wouldnt being a chef and cutting onions a better option?). Never mind, thats not the answer.
4. I love it
Now again, why would someone love cleaning clogged drains? Again, would they have mentioned this theory, if I had been an Autopsy Surgeon.
5. Perhaps secret income in the form of blackmail
When folks call me to fix their pipes, I dont fix tiny cameras and neither do I inject them with truth serum.
6. An excuse to meet a certain woman
Ha if its not a broken heart, it must be sex, according to some guys. Life for me, isnt whats potrayed on Desperate Housewives or Ekta serials for that matter.
7. Aspiring actor/model, who has pride and therefore a part time assignment or a writer wanting to write "Plumber diaries".
Thats perhaps by those who havent seen me:D and "Plumber Diaries", that would be about pipes not people, so no chance of being a bestseller.
Hmmmm. Yeah I love being lazy and working slowly, in a stinking, wet, room.
9. Lack of opportunities. Blame the government.
Not exactly. Unlike the unfortunate, atleast I am employed.
10. Hate my Family
Thats by those who realise my family, hates me for my "career choice". "
11. I am Gay and dont want to get married
Hmmm Plumbers can never get married?"
I pause, I have come up with only 11. I like an even figure, can you think of another one, and please dont say "I am crazy, thats a boring theory"
She smiles mischeivously and adds
12. This is a secret marketing strategy, developed by your marketing team to get you inside the house, and talk to your clients about credit cards. Since all potential clients slam the phone or the door, when you start talking about credit cards.
I laugh "Hmmm, perhaps not a bad idea, and perhaps I should contact my ex-Boss and convince him to give me back my job. But how do I start the conversation with my clients. "I have done my job, but you could pay me with a credit card. And I can suggest a perfect card for you, even if you have 5 cards. And if you apply through me, I can get you a complimentary, tap, free?"
She grins and looks steadily into my eyes. I simply smile back. We have finished the coffee. And now she has to hurry back home, so that her mother in law wont be suspicious. And her cosister's children would be home from school soon.
"Please change. Its just so horrible for them." she pleads.
"To say, my elder son is a plumber and my younger son, a software engineer?"
She sulks and then says."I just hope you are not ruining your life, because of me."
"So its ok to ruin my life, as long as its not due to you?" I retort lightly as the bill arrives.
She seems upset. I pay. For the first time, in our friendship, she doesnt volunteer to share. We both realise it, and yet pretend to not realise it.
We get up, and as we leave, I say "You know, I owed him some money, but I could save only a part of it till now". And try to hand her an envelope.
She stands still, stunned. "He never told me, about it."
"The poor guy was so scared of you, in my earlier job I would have paid back in a month, so he probably didnt tell you."
I shrug. "Of course, I would rather not pay it back, but unlike you, I dont wanted to be haunted by him."
She sighs and says "I wish he would haunt you and scare you into doing something else. Now what do I tell your mother, her son is just crazy?" I shrug again.
She stares at the envelope, unsure. I say, "Hey if you dont want, what is yours, dont blame me, if I dont give it to you, again."
She perhaps thinks, its genuine and not charity and takes it with a smile and says "Now I need money and you better switch your career, if you want to finish off the loan quickly"
I retort "Sorry, I cant make a career change, just for you." That seems to make her happy. And she walks away, while I stand near the door waiting, so that we wont be seen together.
After a few steps, she turns around to wave at me and says "Just be happy.. and take care.."
I smile, nod and wave. And walk home after a few minutes.
Being a plumber is not fun. But its easier than being an electrician for me. And it also makes it easier, to talk to the maid, who works in the flat, adjacent to hers. (They stopped the maid, since She could do that work). And the neighbour's maid feels comfortable talking to a curious plumber, not a telemarketing guy.
I do wonder, if I would have realised otherwise, she doesnt have the money, to buy what she needs, every month, and her embarrassment, last week, when asked to justify her expenses, to her inlaws. After all she wasnt supposed to spend for herself, like her cosister, who had an independent income.
True, my family is embarrassed over my choice. But thats nothing compared to her embarrassment, when it comes to discussing her problems.
My family isnt proud of me, but then, she is too proud to discuss her situation with her parents or friends.
Plumber might not be the best choice. But it was what I could come up with, at that moment. Instead of wasting my time, thinking about the doing the best, I go along with my choice, making the best out of it.
Previously with these characters
Censor the Sad Movies
Imagine - Him Her & Me
This is fictional entry in the Imagine series.
Dec 11, 2006
I need material for blogging, and everyday, I spend couple of hours, browsing. Sometimes I just copy paste the link for reference, and if its serious data, keep the entire article. Since I am unable to blog on all of them, since I am trying to restrict myself to just couple of posts per week.Thought I might do a post on interesting links I came across in the last few weeks.
And for those who are wondering on the title. One among the posts, that I have been trying to frame is on sex and celibacy. Well this is related to it. When I first read it, I was thinking phew, now we could have a new bestseller, The Monk Who Cut off his Penis. But when I realised he didnt want it back, even when, err, it could have been reattached, it did make me wonder, on his mind frame. Till I can come up with something more on it, heres the link
Monk cuts off penis, rejects refix
and some more links, which can make you say, ha ha, hmmm, oh or What!. Read them, and let me know what you think.
A passenger lighted matches in flight to mask odours from her flatulence. Flatulent passenger grounds flight
Photographs taken from orbit suggest that water may have flowed on the surface of Mars in the very recent past — or may still do so — raising yet again the possibility of life on Mars. NASA images show water on Mars. Life?
Reduces traffic jams, pollution and saves fuel and time. Mumbai social network organizes car pooling
Medico Legal Institute of Madhya Pradesh has no idea what to do with about 25 foetuses preserved by it in the hope of offering them for research.
No one has turned up so far to seek them either. Besides the foetuses, it has also preserved an equal number of livers, spleens and brains of foetuses, thinking that either a government institute or a private one would take them for research. A chilling reminder: Bhopal ‘gas leak’ foetuses go on display
Since the mid-1980s, the stubborn brown cloud of pollution that shrouds much of India, coupled with increased concentrations of greenhouse gases, together have limited both the yields and extent of rice farms in the nine Indian states that account for most of the country's wet-season harvest, University of California researchers report in a new study. One of the world's largest clouds of pollution, formed from soot from fires, factories and tailpipes, wafts over much of India. That cloud cuts the amount of sunlight hitting the Earth and in turn reduces rainfall amounts, in part since its dimming effect dents the amount of water evaporated from the sea. Rise in pollution, rice in trouble
The free-software approach poses a challenge to Microsoft Corp, whose success revolves around sales of its long-dominant Windows operating system and Office suite. Google takes technology to schools
The NCAER data is supported by estimates made from school level NCERT (National Council for Educational Research and Training) data: which indicates a somewhat lower level of 2.3 per cent of Muslim children aged 7-19 years who study in madrassas. The proportions are higher in rural areas and among males." Only 3 pc Muslims study in madarssas
The quality of water supplied by municipal corporations in India's metros is unfit for consumption and can cause potentially fatal diseases. Metros neck deep in murky water
The latest data available with the All-India Council of Technical Education (AICTE) shows that only two of the 131 foreign institutes, offering degrees and diplomas for a range of courses in collaboration with Indian partners, have bothered to get necessary government approvals. Foreign institutes head for trouble
And what if the children too are below the poverty line? And when the retirement age in many companies isnt 60, what about the gap. Instead of this bill, there should be a social practise of not financing the children after they turn 18. Mainly to avoid higher education and wedding exps. that could be used for retirement. If a child can vote, he/she ought to take care of education and marriage. Govt to bring Bill to protect elders
But some experts have doubts over the sketchbook's authenticity. They say the quality of work here isn't as good as his 10-12 other sketchbooks.New Ravi Varma sketchbook discovered
The disabled make up six per cent of India's total population and yet there are no awareness programmes or AIDS-related services for them in India. Disabled population prone to abuse
(spraykondom.de) is developing a type of spray can into which the man inserts his penis first. At the push of a button it is then coated in a rubber condom. It could be in market from 2008. Here's a tailor-made spray-on condom
After a car accident armed with a degree in Architecture and Inclusive Environments, Shivani Gupta is now involved in doing an access audit, in seeing just how customer friendly the hospitality sector is towards the disabled. Woman beats disability to spread awareness
Sandeep Kaler a visually challenged creates digital audio books for print disabled people. The disabled who are willing & able
This is the 2nd incident in the same unit in 6 months. Family blames officers for Lt Col's death
Because abused kids are not a votebank. Red tape delayed ashram kids' rescue
It takes one month to act for a minister? Poor enforcement makes mockery of laws for children
Thirty-two-year-old Major Manish Pitambare of 3 Paras died from the injuries he received during an operation, in which he killed the Hizbul's most wanted commander Suhail Faisal. Braveheart major dies fighting terror
First lets educate every MP AIDS ignorant: Truckers, and MPs
Underworld Wide Web: Orkut in dock
Get close to Kylie's butt, lose your job This was at the madam tussad
Shocking stats: Every fourth MP in India 'tainted' The interesting thing is that Lok Sabha records show that every fourth MP has a criminal record. Cases range from murder to cheating.Of the UPA's 36 MPs with a criminal background two of whom are in jail. Fifteen are from the Congress, 10 from the RJD and five NCP MPs. The Opposition is no better of the NDA's 37 MPs, 26 of them are from the BJP. While the SP and BSP have 18 MPs with criminal record.
Trained bees can sniff bombs: scientists Bees could be carried in hand-held detectors the size of a shoe box, and could be used to sniff out explosives in airports, roadside security checks, or even placed in robot bomb disposal equipment. the next step would be to manufacture the bee boxes and train security guards in their use.
Teacher crunch affects Patna school One such primary school in Patna does not even have a building and classroom. Rather it is being run in the premises of a temple and the teachers too have gone missing for the past six months. In the Kahjaekala Primary School, senior students have taken to teaching their juniors because for the past month there's been no sign of the government-appointed teachers.
Kolkata students in clean up campaign The environment campaigners spend their Sunday cleaning up a locality with the message not to litter plastic bags and chocolate wrappers.
Retreats for dogs doing good business better for dogs or the dog business?
Italy whips Google over bullying video When Indians hold website officials responsible as in DPS-Bazee case, we are being pig headed but when Europeans do it, they are pioneers
9,000 Delhi kids missing in last three yrs Over 2,500 children have been reported missing in 2006 itself, according to figures available with the missing persons squad of Delhi Police
Cops take ATM route for bribe money The ACB took action and the officials arrested.
RTI turns costly for Punjab farmer He spent Rs.24000 for 11900 pages
HP may treat female foeticide as murder But will the mother suffer? The other iniatives of giving incentives to panchayats with more female births, family planning after girl child etc seem better. But unless, women take care of their parents, parents arent going to wish for girls.
Defective salary scheme irks TN employees While some get no salary others get double salary and it not easy maintaining minimum Balance which comes to 50% of their salary sometimes.
Delhi police to employ Dhoom bikers While the bikers will go through their paces as regular members of the Delhi police, they will also be part of a special squad.
TN govt to bring in bill on court language Every year nearly one lakh cases are filed in the Madras High Court - a court with one of the highest backlogs in the country.
Dead man gets court summons in Himachal A man who died 26 years ago was asked to appear in a court in Shimla after summons were issued in his name over a land dispute, much to the surprise of his family
China to build world's largest solar plant seeking to ease its dependence on coal to fuel
Finally, justice for 3 disabled After TOI highlighted the discrimination against them — of being denied a service cadre despite being selected in the 2005 civil services exams — the Prime Minister took up the matter and on Monday all three were allotted services
Daughter digs well for disabled parents
Nasrin dug a well for her parents in just 20 days. Her father hurt his chest in an accident a few months ago and can't even take his auto rickshaw out for more than an hour each day.
2 of my favourite opinions recently
Kaun banega conpati On the Amitabh UP ad. I agree with every word in it.
Women in public life confront sexist hypocrisy that goes by the name of tradition On the Vasundra Raje, kiss controversy.
Dec 7, 2006
Did I write that? Did I think those stuff? Cool. I thought, when I came across 3 comments yesterday in Blogging about Boss. Its not even a year old. Yet, if someone had asked me, what I had written on that topic, I would have just stared back. And perhaps could have come up with one point after thinking, for 5 minutes. And yesterday, while going through my list to select my Favourites, I came across, couple of titles, whoose contents, I didnt have a clue.
Sure every stuff I write is original and comes from the heart, filtered by the head. But its tough when memory fails you.
When you open the fridge and stare at it for a minute, your mind goes blank, and yet you desperately want to remember, feeling helpless, as if I am drowning in dark waters, staring at the contents, hoping for a clue, wondering why I opened it.
And then thankfully, logic rescues me. I Think back, at what I had been doing. And realise, for cooking that thing, I would have needed to open the white door of the cupboard, not the white door of the fridge. Happens with people all the time. But its tough when it happens too many times, in a day. And hey I am just 32 not 82. And its not easy when you cant just remember 482.86 and have to copy paste it from one screen to another.
I struggle hard to remember, and many times, its ironical to be complimented for memory. Well thats because, most people take their memory for granted, I dont. I think back or write down. You become obsessed with thought, when you have to rely on the thought process.
But this isnt just about memory and me. Its the logic, that I insert into everything. The compulsiveness, I feel to be correct.
After 10th Prelim exam results, when I went from home to school for the 3rd time, to tell the geography teacher my marks have to be reduced. A paper corrected by perhaps another generous student, for a result that wouldnt be recorded, I remember the puzzled words of the teacher "What are you trying to do?". I dont think I had an answer, and even now I dont have, other than a voice which said, "This isnt the right mark, take it back, to the school"..It was fine once, but thrice?? And as a quirk its fine once, but at every point in life??
I want to finish this post soon, because I am not comfortable, talking about myself. Sure I like attention, but at what I create, not at self. Because I would hate, to be misunderstood. And I pity the person who misunderstands my point, since I will come back again and again, to clarify and communicate my point.
And while people just think, I think over the way I think and the way, others think. It of course helps while analysing or understanding, and the base of logic, creates in a funny way, emphathy for everyone. And perhaps, its wonderful that I am pursuing Psychology.
But this mind, puts a toll on my relationship. When I sound like a lawyer and break down the sentences, in an arguement. Or when I speak like I am under oath, mentioning all the Ifs and all the exceptions, in casual conversations.
And people are wrong when they say they want someone to be understanding and good. Understand people too much, they wonder if you are manipulating them. And by being good, you just make them feel guilty, and no one likes to feel guilty.
Why am I writing it? Because while framing the 3rd and Last Post on Finding Friendship, I wondered how I would define my friend. And what I would expect from my friend.
It took just few seconds to come to the sentence,"My friend would be a person who thinks like me". Thats not the same as agreeing with me.
But unless the person sees the patterns I do, while watching a movie, reading a book, or just in a conversation, it will be tough to have a long term relationship with me. Sure I have many good relationships, some due to family and some due to acquaintance. But to me, they arent friendships.
A friend is someone who will understand me. Who understands why I have two different hobbies, Thinking and Imagining. Who understands how its possible to be idealistic and cynical at the same time. Who understands why death doesnt disturb me, and yet why a line from a movie, can make me sob. Who understands my humour, and my passion. And who doesnt think I am joking when I am being serious, and serious, when I am just joking:D
If Friendship is about trust,
Its tough to trust, what you dont understand
And its tough to understand me,
When you dont know understand, the way I think.
My mind and the way I think, helps me to be friendly to everyone. Yet leaves me without a true friend. If Friends are defined as people without bloodties, who CARE about me, I am thankfully blessed with many. But my there would be more in my ideal friendship.
I realise if I changed the way I think, I would have more friends and possibly be more happy.
But if I change the way I think, am I being, me, Myself?
And if I cant be happy with myself,
Whats the point of being happy due to others?
And so I simply smile, feel good, for being me,
and hope to find a friend,
even when I am prepared to never have a friend.
PPS : Bloggers who write, I may not have friends because I dont give what I want, havent understood the post, or perhaps didnt have time to read the post:D
A Blogger's Initiative. Help if Possible. The 343
Dec 4, 2006
My muse spoke during the previous post, on how tough its for singles to find friends. And now, my conscience speaks on how its tougher to find friends, after being married. The S factor, ie the Spouse factor, interfers, not only when one tries to find new friends, but could also could cut down on existing friends. Well thats something the Singles, dont have to worry about.
Before the moan and groan, lets classify, the Couples. There are just 2 kinds of Couples. Married with kids, and Married without kids.
Rule 1 : Married with kids, dont gel well with Married without kids.
The “with Kids” dont understand, why the “withouts” can't understand, their children are precious, talented, sweet kids, and why the “withouts“ make a big deal out of kids crying, or be mean and deny kids their mobile or remote control, when the little angel asks for them..The without Kids dont understand why the kids control everything. And why the parents pamper the kids and turn them into spoilt wailing brats. (After having kids, they will know the mysterious, secret reason).
Rule 2 : Just because you get along with your friend and you both dont have kids, doesnt mean
Your spouse will like your friend
Your spouse will like your friend's spouse
Your friend will like your spouse
Your friend's spouse will like you
Your friend's spouse will like your spouse.
And when in a group, when one doesnt like the other, its not easy to take it beyond acquaintance. And its not always possible to exclude the spouses.
Rule 3 : If you have kids, what matters is not whether, you, your friend, your friend's spouse or your spouse like each other.
All that matters, is whether the kid likes the friend's kid. Never ever maintain a friendship with a parent of a child your kid hates. You dare to raise an eyebrow? Go ahead braveheart try it, and dont forget to take earplugs to combat the wails. You are stuck up with your kid's friend's parents. And dont worry, your kid wont get into undesirable friendships. It knows that if it makes the maid's kid, its friend, the maid's kid, doesnt have the toys it has.
Rule 4 : Its tougher for women after marriage to find new friends than men. Especially if they dont live in a nuclear family.
There is a difference between stepping out of the house to meet a friend approved by the inlaws, then to say vaguely, I am going to this place, hoping to make new friends.
Rule 5 : For women living with inlaws, other than the above, also avoid having these people as friends, even if they were your friend before marriage.
1. Divorcees : Even if she is the best friend, she is a bad influence. So you are expected to dump her or maintain a distance from her.
2. Widows : She could be bad luck. But if she fits in with the customs, and she has been your friend since highschool, well..she could be ok..
3. Women who have been married for 2 years and still dont have kids. (Even if you dont have kids, she could be a bad influence). This doesnt mean its ok for you to continue your friendship with a woman who has had a child outside wedlock. It could reflect on your character..:D
4. Men : Unless, you a tie Rakhi, men are bad news, especially unmarried men, unless, they want your inlaws to find them wives and are willing to spend more time with them, than with you.
5. Women who are lawyers, police officers, models, etc.
6. People who are NOT friends of the family and their relatives. Therefore, before you talk with a married woman your age, check if her family gets along with your family. Surely you dont want to be a traitor.
Rule 6 : For men, female friends are mostly not ok, unless they are married or have a visible boyfriend.
Widowers, divorcees, men without kids are ok, as long as they can get along with your spouse. Men from any career are ok, as long as they are employed.
Rule 7 : Its tough to Find Friendship if you or your spouse is a Freak.
Social Definition of A Freak :
1. A man who believes women have to be respected.
2. A woman who believes she is a human, and therefore equal to human males.
3. A man or a woman who believes caste and religion, dont matter, even in a private conversation.
4. A man or a woman who is goody goody and believes in paying taxes, not watching pirated movies and treating the servants as humans, not giving bribes and in a nutshell, is just being a pain, for being Holier than thou.
5. A woman who hates shopping for gold,and garments, unless its necessary and a man who hates shopping for electronics, unless its necessary.
6. A male homemaker
7. A female who hates soaps
8. A male who isnt interested in the Indian men's cricket team.
9. A man or woman who thinks a child has to be given what it needs, not what it wants, even if it Wails for it.
10. A man or woman who thinks, discussing current affairs, includes talking about how 7000 Indians die Everyday from Hunger, How a woman dies Every 5 minutes due to childbirth in India (and that its worse than the situation in Sri Lanka or Bangladesh), Neonatal mortality rates, 47% of Indian children are under nourished., female foeticide and that there are only 927 girls per 1000 boys and its becoming every worse every decade, Child marriage is more than 50% in some states, Environment, Cost of Indian Parliament is more than a crore per day and so on..
Rule 8 : Husband talks with Husband and Wife talks with Wife.
Even if initally a Wife and a Husband had been friends from kindergarden. (And if you are a man talking with a husband of your friend from kindergarden, never talk, as if,you know your friend better than the spouse, even if they have been married for just a day. Similar rule for the woman, talking to the best friend's wife.)
Rule 9 : Having pets is like having kids.
People with pets are more likely to find new friendships with those who have similar pets, and of course its important that the pets get along, and the topic of conversation would also include on pet foods and doctors and so on...
If you have pet and kid, well now its important to find people your pet and kid likes. Phew. And may God Bless You.
Rule 10 : If you are :
1. Female Divorcee : Dont waste your time trying to finding friendships with married couple. Unless you have a visible big scar, from your exhusband. Watch out, your married girl friends may have to distance themselves from you.
2. Male Divorcee : You have better options than the female one. But if you have are going to talk about the visible big scar from your ex wife, you better have had an affair, otherwise, no husband wants to befriend a "wimp", even if he is a wimp.
3. Widow : You will have your existing friends, and also your husband's friends. But they will expect you to have a "silent, sad, and yet I will manage smile". If you want to have fun (even 2 years after his death, they arent the right people for you). And dont expect them to find you a new boyfriend or husband.
4. Widower : You too will retain your friends. Be prepared for suggestions of getting married, 1 month after her death. And your friends would love to cheer you up.
5. Live ins : Forget finding friendships in married couples. They will never understand why you dont have to be married, and you will never understand, why they got married.
6. Single Parent : Make friends, with those who have kids.
7. A Homosexual Couple : You can rule out many people as your friends, unless, you can get away with we are room mates, and searching for romance and avoid suspicion. But why would you want endless, suggestions and proposals, when you already have your family doing it for you?
And if you are planning to get married, dont forget to invite everyone you know. Especially those who are already married, whom you avoided because you thought they were boring. Now you know, why you need them.
Nov 27, 2006
After thinking about it, I realised, life is tough for the singles. I mean the lucky, independent people, who live away from home, who dont have to share their income or remote control with anyone. If Singles are reading this post, buddy, I feel so sorry for you.
1. You have to put up with endless relatives who want to know why you havent been married yet..
2. And finding the soulmate isnt easier either. You dont want your family telling “I told you so..“ for the rest of your life. (And thanks to female foeticide, we have less girls than guys, and therefore, its worse for the guys. But that of course is a small price for being alive.)
3. But if there is anything tougher than finding and maintaining romantic relationships, its finding friends.
At school and college it was easy. You just had to flaunt something to get attention. And then talk about sharing and get the friend, who is too tired to move on to someone else. But now everyone's earning. And its not about just having any friend, but having the right friend.
1.Beware of friends who are married.
They will tell you its a wonderful thing to be married, and for every topic you discuss, you will get to know, what the spouse thinks about it, even if its just you two discussing it.
And if you point it out, the friend could pout and talk about twin souls, and make you feel bad about not having romance in your life.
For every plan you two make, the approval from the spouse is essential.
And worse the friend might team up with the spouse and get some terrible blind dates for you.
Hey you have enough relatives doing that, why would you want your friends too, to rub it in.
2.If there is any kind of friend worse than the married friend, its the friend who is married and has kids.
The kid will break even the stuff, the salesperson said was unbreakable,
throw away your remote or your mobile (a part of your soul),
dump every eatable on the floor after crumbling it to pieces,
hide away your keys,
spill water on your office paper work
and cry if you dont give the important papers, to make a boat.
Get hurt and Wail (and you will be blamed for not having a child friendly environment)
And you will be expected to be uncomplaining, and comment "Oh an adoring, sweet kid." If you dont, be prepared to go on a guilt trip, for being an insensitive, selfish person.
And if you think its ok to be friendly with parents whoose kid hasnt started walking, then be prepared to be assaulted by endless photos and videos of their darling baby. And you will have to come up with an original comment for every photo/ video clip and have a photographic memory of all the comments you made earlier, since comparisions would arise. It could go something like
"So you think the blue dress looks better than the green dress, last week. But last month you thought the green was better than the previous blue, is it the shade or the cut, that has made you changed your mind?"
3.If you think, Singles would emphatise with you, sigh, it isnt so easy. Its not easy telling the opposite gender. Hmmm, I want to be just friends with you. It could be treated as an insult or worse, you being coy (if a girl) or corny (if a guy). And the person could assume you really want to have a romantic relationship.
4.If you think, forget the opposite gender, let me search within my gender.
Well, you might get one, provided you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend.
Because, almost every single person is searching for boyfriend or girlfriend, and when they have a friend who doesnt have a romantic relationship, it might give a misleading impression of their sexual orientation. (Simply put, if you dont have a romantic relationship, you could be gay and they wouldnt want others to get the idea, they too are gay).
5.Virtual Friendships are not a bad idea.
You have an idea of what the person likes and dislikes. But then one is never sure, if its hacker, or serial killer, or the uncle you dislike, trying to do analyse you, or your colleague, who wants to tell Boss what you actually think about work. (What?? You think these people can never be on the net?)
If you think you can move few years down the age bar, and have a fun filled friendship with younger ones, well to them, you are still an oldie, and its tough to be friendly to a person who keeps calling you "Uncle" or "Aunty".
If you think you can move up a few years on the age bar and have a fun filled friendship with older ones, well its tough to have a friendship with an oldie, who doesnt want to face reality, and wants to be on first name basis and not the respectful "Uncle" or "Aunty". (Plzzzz, is it so tough to understand, you dont use first names, because you dont want others to think, you too are an oldie? !!!)
All kids are not brats, and if you think you will go out and be friendly to kids, who are entitled to call you "Uncle" or "Aunty", well you have to head to some orphanage. But just a minute.
If you are a guy the world would wonder, if you are a paedophile.
And if you are a girl, the world would wonder, if you had been pregnant as a teenager and you have a child in that orphanage and thats the reason behind you being single.
9.Sigh. There are plenty of old age homes. But instead of being thankful for your visit, the people there could act human, and ask why you are still being single, and be just like other people in your family. The people you have run away from.
10.And there are other endless complications in friendships. You dont want someone too poor, who might be interested in you just for the money. And unfortunately those richer than you, think you would be crass enough to like them for just the money. You dont want someone who is from a different caste or religion, for they might not agree you are the Best or the Oppressed. And you dont want someone from a different state, because you both might disagree on water sharing or the superior city.
To conclude, if you are single, and still have some friends, stick with them, even if they bore you to death. Its tough enough to find your soul mate, why waste the energy on finding new friends?Finding good Friends isnt easy, but its tougher for those who are Single, and Want to Mingle, in a Friendly way..
Previous Posts on Singles
Van Gogh on Valentine
Single and Still Complete
Perplexed about Premarital Sex?
Life007 is not a guy?
Single & Ready to Mingle
Before Walking Off into the Sunset
All Posts on Relationships
Nov 25, 2006
Couldnt he have kept her atleast alive?
What had she done wrong, juggling and attending to the needs of one and all. Her husband, her child, her inlaws, her job...to deserve death?
That pig, had murdered her, and yet, dared to say, he meant to just hurt her and it had unfortunately resulted in her death. Tears rolled down his eyes, as his grandson wailed once again, but this hands didnt wipe away his tears since they were clenched, as he thought about his daughter and her death.
Why, oh why had she not come to him earlier. Why had she not complained?
Because she believed there would be no solution?
Because she believed it might result in a stigma called divorce?
Because she wanted a father for her son?
Because she didnt want to embarrass or be an emotional burden to her parents?
Because she didnt want to let tell her parents, they had made a mistake?
Because she wanted friends and family to remember the grand wedding, and not think of it as a grand mistake?
Because she believed time will take care of her?
She had her education, income, and her family. Yet why did she put up with this abuse? If she had complained earlier, surely she wouldnt be dead now.
"Oh dear" he moaned, "Why didnt you call Daddy?"
His wife softly answered, "Perhaps, she thought it was normal.."
Rage engulfed his body and soul. He slapped her and his hands went around her throat. He wanted to choke her and hurt her and teach her a lesson. How dare she compare him with that brute of his son in law...
And felt a tug at his leg. And looked down at the scared face of his grandson.
A chill ran down his spine. How many times had his daughter tugged him away from his wife, only to be kicked for interfering.
He quietly picked up his grandson, and walked out of the door. He would make sure that in future, violence wouldnt be normal, atleast for his grandson. And perhaps, he thought, I will apologise to Her. After all her She too is a daughter..
Nov 20, 2006
2.Men and Women who think its silly if a man isa. A victim of a sex crimeb. A victim of violence (The offender being a woman, not a man of course)
3.Women and Men who feel for Amitabh in the movie Baghban, where he is abandoned by his 4 sons, but wouldnt have felt sorry, if Amitabh had been abandoned by 4 daughters.
4.Men and Women, who dont think its odd when only one side has to fit the wedding bill.
5.Women and Men, who dont thinkmolestation and eve teasing is to be protested against, and if the victim is silent, its not because of fear, but perhaps passive pleasure. And who think dress is the cause, even when majority of molestation still happens in the towns and villages, where the women are "more modestly" dressed.
6.Men and Women who think women need someone to protect and provide for her.
But of course wont think about widows and divorcees.
7.Women and Men who think porn is ok, as long its other girls, and not their family member. And place a premium on the virginity of a girl, but not the guy.
8.Men and Women who think its ok if an Earning Wife, works at home and office, while an Earning husband doesnt do much at home.
9.Women and Men who think a.A homemaker 's 24 x 7 job, with no weekends and promotion and retirement benefits, doesnt require any help or appreciationb.A homemaker has nothing to do since she has help and gadgets but wouldnt think a Vice President of Sales should be paid less than a Frontline Sales Staff because the VP has more gadgets and assistants than a Frontline Sales staff.c.Male Homemakers are a joke and any guy who wants to be a homemaker is a loser.
10.Men and Women who thinkA slap is a good method to "cure" a Woman. And dont cringe when they see it on Movies or Soaps.
11. Women and Men who think Issues like Maternal Mortality in India is boring, even when a woman dies every 5 minutes due to childbirth, and when our rate is one of the worst in the world and worse than Bangladesh and Sri Lanka.
12.Men and Women who think Women are a burden to the family and its better to have sons and have skewed the sex ratio from 976 girls in 1961 to 927 girls per 1000 boys in 2001. Thus making sure that two decades from 73 per 1000 boys wont get brides.
Nov 18, 2006
They deserve The Ostrich Award for Superb Solutions since this Attitude has Additional Applications :
1.Ban women from workplace. Lets not deal with complaints of sexual harrassment and it would mean more employment opportunities for men, even if they are unqualified.
2.Ban women from complaining about Dowry or Domestic Violence or Rape or Molestation, or for that matter any crime. That will mean speedier justice.
3.Ban women from travelling, (it wont stop eveteasing complaints, since thats already banned), but it could make the roads less congested.
4.Ban from educational institutions. Why waste resources on them, since education might mean they could make demands about their rights.
5.Ban women having property. That way they wont have resources to complain against the other Bans, and since they wont have buying power, the media (who need advertisements to survive) wont make a big deal of the ban.
Categories where they shouldnt be banned.
1.Women should be allowed to dance in Dance Bars, appear in Porn, work as a Sex Worker and can be allowed on Films, (only to dance in songs and weep for help). Because men need entertainment
2.Marriage. Men need women not just for entertainment but also as a resource for finance and an outlet to vent their frustration and to have someone look after them.
3.Birth. The process of partial ban, should be continued.(In India, the child sex ratio (0-6 age group) which was 945 in 1991, decreased to 927 girls for every 1000 boys in 2001.) Since, a total ban would backfire, and all men and not just 73 men per 1000 men wouldnt get brides.
Most importantly, men who are disloyal towards their gender, and who protest against this ban should be termed "Gay" and ostracised completely.
Nov 12, 2006
But doesn't match your Dreams.
Whats the point of a relationship, you wonder sometimes,
When you aren't Happy most of the times.
He doesn't abuse you.
Yet it would be nice, if he could care more for you.
Hmmm, well he does care for you.
But it would be nice if he Expresses, the care for you, in the way you Expect.
Life is already tough and seems to be getting tougher.
Wouldn't it be nice, if one could go back a little?
Well not as a teenager, but atleast to the twenties
When you got attention and had fun?
Now, its just burdens to be shared,.
But whats the point of sharing burden?
But when did just living constitute having a life, and being Happy? ,
There is a difference between unhappiness, satisfaction and happiness.
Unhappiness : When you dont get water in the morning, just after you have shampooed your hair and its entering your eye.
Satisfaction : When you get water.
and Happiness? : When you become a bathroom singer, not caring about your voice being awful, but just feeling good, and living, that moment, even when the temperature of the water isnt right and you dont have the best shampoo or shower gel and a sexy guy massaging your back :)
Getting back to your situation.
You have given your time and life,
And yet you don't get compliments.
Just told to be thankful;
That there are few criticisms.
There are 43 things you want to change in him
Even if there are 32 more important things, that you wouldn't want to change, in him.
So how can You be Happy in this situation?
1.The purpose of all relationships, isn't to make you Happy. Yeah it sounds crazy, but just accept this and move on to the next point:)
2.Take control of your happiness, don't wait for him to make you Happy.
3.Its possible to be Happy, just by minor things in life, like a smile. Go ahead smile now for 5 seconds (at the risk of seeming silly or having an internet affair). And feel the difference.
4.Stop expecting from him. Forget what you think, he has to do. And feeling miserable about it later, when he doesn't live up to your expectations. Whats more important being right about your expectations, or living happily?
5.Accept he can't make you happy many times.Accepting doesn't mean saying its ok. But it simply means going after the consequences instead of brooding about the cause. For eg : When you don't get water, when you are in the shower, instead of feeling miserable, and brooding about it, its wiser to accept you don't have water, and to think what you can do about it.
6.It would be nice if he made you happy, but you dont need him to make you feel happy.Happiness is a sea which is Within you, and it doesnt need rain from him.
7.Think, what makes you Happy and plan to make yourself happy. Dont feel guilty, thinking you are being selfish. If you don't care for yourself, who will?
8.Communicate what makes you happy, even when :
a. The fun goes out, when he does only what you tell him to do, and doesn't think independently, (like you) on what would make you happy.
b. he doesn't do what makes you happy. Just because he didn't do somethings, doesn't mean he will do nothing.
9.Its tough to be loved, and not respected. Draw a line, be firm, but dont get hysteric.
Its one thing to Think he did this last year and to bring it up in a fight,
its another to Tell, Honey, just because I am not shouting or pouting ,doesn't mean I am OK with what you did yesterday.
10. Its not necessary for million autograph hunters to make you happy
Its not even necessary for someone in your family to make you happy
Your happiness, is in your hands and heart,
You dont need a reason or excuse to be happy
Being alive itself is a joy and a reason to be happy
So dont wait for a Stimulus, before you break into a Song
To reach a financial goal, its not enough to earn, its important to invest and spend wisely.
Its not enough to be in a relationship to be happy, its important to pay attention to yourself.
And you dont need him to make you feel happy, you need him, only to share your happiness.
Nov 11, 2006
A tag by shady - You are marooned on Island miles away from civilization you can take one partner and 5 things what would that be?
1.A big flask of coffee. (Juices are great, but the no added sugar, no preservative stuff I drink could get spoiled, but I can drink coffee even if its horribly cold.)
2.Potatoes. (My favourite dish is boiled potatoes, hmmm maybe 5 kgs...)
3.Matchboxes. (To boil my potatoes, and to keep away the animals and cannibals if any, at night. Maybe a dozen.)
4.Sharp Knife. (The wood, and the branches to protect me from the weather, sun or rain)
5.Hammock .(Silly choice. A book on surviving alone, would be a better choice, but I love swings and hammock and it would be fun to doze and imagine in it, and hopefully not many insects would climb up to it:D)
Partner : A good sailor (male or female) with a boat, who will not disturb me when I am on the island and who will take me back to civilisation, when I run out of potatoes and coffee.
PS : If there is a solared powered satelllite phone, will definitely opt for it. But since I love the 5 things I mentioned, will trade in the partner for the phone (now thats truly pathetic:D)
PPS : Didnt mention my husband, because I am considerate about boring him to death, and I dont want him to die. And the option would have been boring to the bloggers to read, and the emotional health of the bloggers are important to me:) If I have to really come up with a celebrity, it would be David E Kelly (creator of Picket Fences, The Practice, Boston Legal, etc. Because he makes me think, and when I am not imagining stories in my mind, I like to think.)
Tag : Anyone interested
Nov 8, 2006
The head said, "Stop!
You have been hurt once,
How do you know, again you would be not?
Is it worth the pain?
Would you be able to handle the pain?
What on earth, will you gain.?"
The head argued in vain.
But the heart didnt give up.
It reasoned with head,
"Remember the first time I tried to walk,
If I had listened to you, I would have never walked
Let me do what I know, in my heart is right,
Lets prepare for the worst, and hope for the best.
We are not different and our goals are not apart,
I will be your strength, just follow the heart."
Self : Whats your point?
Muse : You are losing points, thats my point. Dont give me, the dazed look. How can you ignore this opportunity to win valuable points, in Sulekha.
Self : Aaah. Got your, err, point. But I am blogging as before, and more comfortably (Thanks to the hard work of the Sulekha team), what else should I do?
Muse : Oh Baby, dont you want to figure out how you can win More points and improve your rankings? Shouldnt you go beyond the posting and commenting and think about networking and sending notes?
Self : But I dont want to do anything just for the sake of points.
Muse : I am so ashamed ! You are not even in the Top 100. Do you realise, the ranking also reflects on me! And I cant boast to others, when we have a Muse Meet..
Self : Enough of this. Have your ever thought about life? That it isnt going to be one or ten Big Moments, in front of the world media, but just a collection of moments. And the best way to enjoy life, is to do what you want and smile, for most of the moments.
Muse : Aaargh ! Whats the point of life, if you are not Someone in others eyes?
Self : And whats the point of life, if you are no one in your own eyes. When you let yourself down, and do something you wouldnt normally do, just because you want to shine in someone's eyes, arent we sending the message "What I think or want to do, is unimportant?" If I am not to important to myself, how pathetic would my life be?
From simple Points to Career Choice
What matters. is whether you do, what you want to do,
not whether, you live a fantastic life, from others point of view.
Its fun to have some blogging points,
but the point of blogging, need not be points:)
Points are fun, but if they become the point of blogging
They take out the fun out of life.
Nov 7, 2006
1. The skimpy skirt stage : Before she meets You, the Hero. Even if she calls you "stupid", she enjoys, when you make fun of her with your buddies, and slap her bottom and kiss her. (If some guy does it with your sister, its ok to kill him, but when you do it, its because she wants You to do it.)
(This is not to be confused with the item number stage. The item number stage is about girls, who are not "worthy" enough to be your girlfriend, but who desire you, and will do anything for you and wont object to anything you do with them.)
2.The salwar kameez stage : She has now been tamed by you. You are busy in life, and she hangs around waiting to hug you and sing a song with you, when you get time to visit her.
It might also include
a.Being tied, in a godown waiting to be rescued (action movie)
b.About to catch a plane, train, bus (romantic movie), thinking stupidly you are not important. Of course, once you meet her, she "corrects" herself.
3.Sari - Matching Bangles stage : She is married to you and observes the required fasts, and has the ideal relationship with everyone in your family, and you can live happily ever after.
Sometimes if the sari stage appears early (family movie), she might not have an ideal relationship, with everyone and might talk about freedom (nuclear family) or might do the ultimate crime, argue with your mother. Just slap her, and imply you can get another woman, and she will definitely come running back to you.
But today society has changed. Its not just the movies, now its the internet forwards and porn. They dont complicate the topic with stages. Just simple rules.
1.Women are stupid. And therefore, they can never be right.
2.They have time only for shopping and talking.
3.The only exception are the mothers.
4.Porn proves only one thing, women like and desire You.
5.If someone disagrees and tells this isnt reality, they are liars, because Forwards always represent the truth.
Whatever the uncoding medium, its tough to think, there is no need to idolise women or demonise women, treating them as humans would be fine.
Nov 6, 2006
Taj : I dont find the Taj romantic. If I die, I wouldn't want my husband to build me something, however beautiful. For me, its more romantic, if he helps with the dishes. Personally I think there are many more wonderful things in India, than the Taj. But, sigh, Taj is the only Indian wonder in this list.
(The Taj Mahal is one of the most beautiful architectural complexes in the world. Located in Agra, India, it was commissioned by the Mughal Emperor Shah Jahan (who reigned from 1628 to 1658) to immortalize a favorite wife who died in childbirth. While the white domed marble mausoleum is the most famous part of the monument, the Taj Mahal is actually an integrated complex of structures. )
Now to my personal favourite, the Great Wall of China. (Famed for its magnitude, the wall mirrors the hills and valleys of the diverse landscape as it winds across 4,160 miles of Northern China's countryside. Some sections of the wall date back 2,000 years to when Emperor Qin Shihuang, the first emperor of China, connected existing sections of the fortification as a defense against invasions and as a means to unify the country.) A wonder that can be seen from the space. As a kid I used to dream about a wall around Mumbai. And even though there would be many Chinese voting for it, my heart says, go for the concept you dreamt about.
Victoria Falls : (Victoria Falls is a spectacular waterfall located on the Zambezi River, at the border between Zambia and Zimbabwe. The Falls are twice as wide as Niagara Falls, spanning over one mile. The river plunges over a steep drop and creates a spectacular show of crashing water and rising mist. It is this ethereal display that gave this natural wonder its local name: Mosi-Oa-Tunya-- "the smoke that thunders.") . Waterfalls are fun, so perhaps the Victoria Falls, and I do have a soft corner for the African continent.
Machu Picchu in Peru : (Hidden among the Andes Mountains of Peru, the ancient Incan city of Machu Picchu sits at an elevation of 7,710 feet. Built in the 15th century and not discovered again until 1911, Macchu Picchu is now Peru's most popular tourist attraction.) Hmmm perhaps I could consider it too..
Venice : (Venice, an island city amid the Adriatic Sea, was once a flourishing maritime center and the cultural heart of Europe. Today it is an endangered wonder as the African plate on which it sits, slips beneath the European plate, causing the Adriatic Sea to rise. Since it was settled in 452, the city has been sinking at a rate of more than a centimeter a century.) I wouldnt generally vote for it, but sometimes one can't help feeling sorry for a sinking city.
Panama Canal : (Spanning nearly 50 miles, the Panama Canal connects the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans through the narrow isthmus of Panama. The construction of the canal was one of the largest and most difficult engineering projects ever undertaken. The canal took 10 years to build and an estimated 25,000 people lost their lives in the construction of this mammoth project.)
Normally I wouldnt have considered it, but when you read 25000 people died, you cant just ignore it.
Saturn V : (The Saturn V held the attention of the world as it became the first liquid propellant rocket to take man to the moon. The Saturn V was a three-stage vehicle developed by NASA. The Saturn V and its Apollo capsule were 36 stories tall and weighed 6.2 million pounds. The astronauts traveled a distance of 240,000 miles, and when they took that first step on the moon's surface on July 16,1969, 600 million people watched in amazement.) Hmmm I wont, yet when I look at the moon and think, hey someone landed on it..
Grand Canyon : (Stretching for about 277 miles on the Colorado Plateau in Northwestern Arizona, the jagged cliffs of the Grand Canyon are one of the most studied landscapes in the world. At its deepest, the canyon dips more than a mile below the rim.You can visit this beautiful vista at Mojave Point at the Grand Canyon National Park in Arizona.) Aah atleast one option I will definitely not vote for.
Its just a list, and probably, another one will come along soon. As for my vote, well I am still wondering about the wonders..
And its the last day today..
The description in italics are from the description in the website.
Oct 26, 2006
She realised his dread and said, "I want to discuss, what we can do with the sweets, not why we ended up with so many sweets." He brightened. Aah now he could provide a solution.
"Maid." He said promptly.
She shook her head."Its pure ghee and its not spoiled and our neighbours will get upset with us, because then, their servants would be asking them to give nice sweets and not ones with a thin fungal layer."
"We have already given to some. And they will realise that I am giving it to them again, because its in excess. And what if they give their own excess sweets in return?"
"But there were some, to whom you didnt give?"
"But it will look so lame! How can I explain it? They wont be grateful. They will just feel insulted."
"What if we throw a party and invite people? How about a blog meet. The bloggers can blog about your tasty sweets. Surely you will feel wonderful to read it."
"Tempting, but its easier for me, to blog about my own sweets. I dont want to spend on the rest of the meal and I am really exhausted. "
"What if we just let them be, and eat something everyday."
"Already I have gained 1.5 kgs and you have gained 2 kgs"
He winced. "Well dear they were so yummy. Err can I have couple more"
She glared. "No. Do you think we can send it to your cousin in USA? After all they wouldnt know when we sent and we can always blame the postal department. "
"Too expensive. How about some to your aunt in Dubai? But then that too will cost something. How about an Orphanage?"
"Its 50 sweets not 200 sweets. How about just giving them away saying you got a promotion."
"No way. What if people at my office find out? Why not say you have become pregnant? And then fake a miscarriage. You could get some sympathy too."
"Forget it. I will end up getting names of 70 doctors who are simply the luckiest and the best in the baby business and the 80 temples which you will have to only visit, to have your wishes fulfilled and perhaps half a dozen astrologers. Never." She shuddered.
"Perhaps we could send it to some film star. And who knows, we could be on TV. But let the name begin with S. The media loves alliteration. And it could name the segment, Sweets for Sush or Sweets for Shahrukh."
"Great. But what if they think we are trying to poison them and its some form of underworld threat? Perhaps we could do it next year. Now its too late."
"Ok. Lets just throw them away"
"But they represent so much of my hard work. And they taste and smell so good, even now."
They stared at each other dejectedly. Until she had an idea.
Well, now you know the story, behind the internet auction ad "Sweets, starting at Re.1.."
No.331 Posts in Hmmm series.
Oct 17, 2006
But being happy, when you wake up that one
Being in Love doesnt mean a relationship forever
But making an attempt, to keep alive the relationship, forever
Being in Love doesnt mean zero sadness
But just being there for each other during sadness
Being in Love is not about feeling good, forever, with one another
But just feeling good about having had the opportunity to meet the other
Being in Love doesnt mean one has found the perfect person
But just that one doesnt feel the need to find another person
Being in Love doesnt mean Love ends without a relationship
But just that it would be more wonderful if there was a relationship
Being in Love never means its ok to put up with abuse
Because Loving another never means, not loving yourself
Being in Love isnt necessary to feel alive
Being in Love is just one of the ways to feel alive
Posts on Relationships
Oct 15, 2006
A tag on what I find sexy and attractive in men, from Savy. Well using some well known people to illustrate my point, lets start at the top, with the brain i.e, the personality
Intelligent and Witty: Intelligence isnt measured by a CAT score, for me its making the best use of the resources available. And witty doesnt just mean the ability to laugh at the world, its important to laugh at self too.
Thats when I meet a person. But lets move on to just the audio - visual stimulant
And now even more complicated the Conceptually Sexy
Raymond's The Complete Man
And finally Ultimately Sexy
Ultimately no one can be as sexy as the person you love, even if the person doesnt have everything mentioned above. Hmmm perhaps thats why Love is Blind :D
Definitely NOT Sexy :