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Jul 28, 2013

While the phone Rang, to Hang or Hang on

She tightened the noose around her neck. Distressed, depressed, and in despair, she had decided to simply die. But now she was distracted, by the tring tring of the telephone's ring. Her mobile had a ringtone for almost every contact in her life. But the unused landline of the landlord, which rang a bland tring tring, left her clueless about her caller.

Instead of kicking her legs off the sofa's armrest, she inserted her fingers between the bedsheet noose and her neck. With the tip of her toe, she pressed the speaker button, to answer the ringing telephone.

"Yes? " she asked gruffly. "Good evening Madam" chirped a cheerful male voice.

 A telemarketing call??? Ohhh!! She just wanted to just maul!!

Yet when she spoke, her voice sounded calm, collected and cool. "I am sorry I am busy killing myself, so I won't be able to help you. Sell your insurance, credit card or internet connection to someone who wants to live. Goodbye!!" "

I know 3 people who killed themselves" He replied softly.

"Well I am not the 4th!" She retorted. "You may know my number but you don't know me!!."

"Anything I can say.." he began

She cut him off with  "Oh please!! Spare me the cliches!!! Its my life, my responsibility! I am not drunk or drugged..I just want to die. And definitely don't want to dispute, discuss, or debate, about it, with you.. " She moved her toe over the telephone, to disconnect..

"Hang on!" he cried.

"Have you written your note, cleaned your toilet and mentioned about eye donation? The three suiciders I knew, didn't think about it. You know what's worse than neighbors speculating about your death, its neighbors gossiping about your dirty house! Even if you think neighbors don't matter,think, is it fair to kill your eyes, when they can light couple of lives? Did you know, eyes are alive up to six hours, after death?"

She took in a deep breath.

"A breath she wouldn't have taken, if few seconds ago, she had hanged.
Oh death she would have gladly taken, if only, the phone had not rang"

But how many seconds and breath, of her time and life, could a sudden stranger stretch? The pain, which had been on hold, with a fury began to unfold. It shot from her heart to her head. "I can't handle it" said, the voice in her head and began to scream "I just want to be dead!!". Her heart pounded, the abandoned pain, tossed between her heart and head, wanting to absorbed and grounded, throbbed and tightened within her neck and throat, making it impossible to whisper or weep.

 "Hello??" he tentatively asked. "Hope you haven't mentioned in your note, that you were harassed to death by an anonymous caller...By the way, are you a celebrity, then I would be a celebrity for couple of days too....You know, why decide to die today when we all are going to die someday. ?" He jabbered nervously."I wondered whats the worst, feeling unwanted or being bored.."

 "STOPPPP!!!" she finally screamed, and started laughing hysterically. Just one swing, away from the armrest, she would be finally free. Yet her mind now, was far from her intended journey.

She wanted to Kick!. Kick, the first expression of her life. A simple act, within the womb, which had made her parents swoon and feel blessed about their boon.

But, all she wanted to do now was to kick away her life. Simply kick, she told herself, just like you would kick away a pebble, on a trail. But the pebble wasn't IN her trail. It was him, she decided. She had to first kick Him, for spoiling her final moments.

She thought,
"Oh Destination Death, you sent your knight to drown me through the trail of blues, and dark hues!
Yet Destiny drives me crazy me with this voice and keeps me afloat, grabbing my ankles. Irritating and distracting me, like a pebble in my shoe!"

Between Death and Destiny she stood, stunned, unsur,e and suspended. Mind or Body which did she want to swing? 

Another deep breath she took.
And untied the bedsheet from the hook.

 "I will call again, hope you won't die..goodbye " He had hung up, before she could tell him she had't hanged. 

So many things she now wanted to ask and say..
She wondered who he was, and why he had called her today.

Months later, she greeted the first rain of the season, with a song on her lips, and a dance on her hips..
As she  inhaled deeply the fragrance which the first rain brings,
she felt shot by a hopeful thrill.
She finally heard the telephone's tring.

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda (Thanks BlogAdda for bringing back my blog)