Life Lessons for my Kid

Dear Kid,
While its your life, and you have to learn your own lessons, thought I could make it easier for you by sharing some lessons I have learned.

LIFE & GOD

1.Life is not Fair
Instead of wasting your time thinking in terms of "but" this should not have happened, think "and" this has happened, what can I do now.

2.God Exists
Its tough to accept the concept life is not fair, with the existence of God. But just think of God as a Single Working Mom, who cares for her children but doesn't have the time and energy to do everything the children want or need. (When you are really mad at God, just think God is busy keeping some galaxies from colliding with each other).

3.Bad things can happen to Good people
The point of goodness is not to prevent "bad" things from happening to you. Goodness feels good, thats all.


PEOPLE
4.Don't Laugh At Anyone.
This is perhaps more of my superstition, but just trust me. Think, if Ram hadn't mocked Kaikeyi's maid, perhaps he wouldn't have been exiled. If the brothers had not mocked Surpanaka, Sita might not have been kidnapped. And if Draupadi hadn't laughed at Duryodhanan in the Palace of Illusions, perhaps the animosity wouldn't have increased. Why give "bad" people one more excuse to get back at you. (For the person who insults, its written in sand but for the receiver its etched in rock.)

5.People don't like to feel Guilty.
If you are going to make someone feel guilty, atleast provide them an excuse for their action. Otherwise they are just going to resent you. The temporary "holier than thou" high you will receive, is absolutely worthless. (This doesn't mean don't stand up for what you believe. Just don't make everything personal. (Focus on the behaviour and not on the person).

6.Trust but don't believe.
Trust intentions but don't believe everything people say. If your friend suggests you a scheme, trust the friend's intentions.But that shouldn't mean, you should believe in the suggested schemes.

7.People and You
Swat away the mosquitoes, gently sweep away the ants, be respectful of the bees, don't waste time chasing butterflies, ignore the spiders, and most importantly learn how to not get irritated with the flies. And don't be ashamed to scream, when you come across cockroaches. And if possible, corelate this with people. (A tip, the flies are the good people who behave badly). And be prepared for one category to transform into another. Just when you decide someone is an ant, they decide to become a fly.!!

CLOSE RELATIONSHIPS
8.Decide if you want to be Happy or Right.(thanks Dr.Phil). 
For many years I thought I couldn't be Happy if I wasn't accepted as Right. Well now I realise, being Right isn't the Only way to be Happy.

9.Satisfied but not Happy?
Its not your partner, friend or anyone's responsibility to make you happy. Learn to generate your own happiness.

10.Patience can be a part of "Aggression"
When it comes to in-laws, just remember Sunil Gavaskar's quote "Give the first hour to the bowlers because the next five hours will be yours."

CAREER
11. Career Choices
If you have to choose between "doing what one wants to do" and "doing what one is good at", choose to do what you want to do. Even if you fail, you will at least have the satisfaction of having done, what You wanted to do. And if you are confused about what you want, just imagine things going awfully wrong with your choice. If you are still willing to accept responsibility for it, you will know its Your choice.(Btw only in theories, Bosses want you to be perfect. Make a small mistake once in a while, they would love to correct you and guide you and prove to you, they are your Boss for a reason).

SELF
12.Smile
You don't have to feel great to smile,
You don't need an excuse or reason to smile.
Yet if you feel you do, just smile for a few seconds at yourself,
You would realise you feel good.
And what better reason do you need?
Just to feel good, many abuse their bodies.
Why go for that, when you can achieve it with a simple smile.

Think of Smile as a Single Run
And a Laugh as a Six or Four.
You need not hit a Six or Four with every ball
Even singles count.
Be glad you are not out,
Instead of waiting for a stimulus to make you smile.
Stimulate yourself with a smile :)

Love
Mom.

Life Living and Alive

Life is for Living
Living doesn't mean feeling
Alive, for just a few seconds
Trust not the thrills, that temptation beckons
Second Chances? Death never ever reckons

Death might Inevitable
But why Invite it, or become differently abled.

Singles too and not just Sixes and fours,
are required to make, a good cricket score.
Accept the hot sun and singles, even if they seem to be a bore
Life is about dealing with, not running away from chores.

Your enemy is not Fear
for Your life, wisely She steers.
You don't have to conquer the elements to conquer your emotions.
Stop defining and living your life by other's notions.

Throw away the shackles of fear
If she chains you from making a stand.
But if she is going to keep you from being crippled
Fight your Ego, and take her helping hand.

From heights, or to depths, you don't have to dive
Close your eyes, Dive within, and Feel alive.

Risks & Two Minute Thrills are Death's Aura
Jeena Sambhalke mere yaara,
Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara
Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara

A Flame named Freedom

In humiliation, how brightly I burn.
Consequences? I have no concern!
I am the Mighty Dragon, breathing Fire,
Revenge is all, I now thirst and desire.
My Freedom, you are a wonderful flower.
Borne from you, the delicious fruit, Power.
When Retribution I can certainly elude,
Why suddenly has my rage subdued?

Oh Freedom, you gave me Power
But Power is also true test of Character, I learn.
By Humuliation and Character
My poor dear ego, you have now been, twice, burned.

Freedom, its unfair, you fight fire with your light
My rage has been controlled and caged by your light!

I thought I was truly free,
And could go on any spree, carefree!

But, Freedom is a flame within and it ignites

A guiding light, to do the right.

Not a weapon for the might,

To be used in any and every spite.

So, Freedom, I want to be Free from You
Without you I could float in self pity and rue.
For what is the use of being free if, I,
Can but Don't, get an eye for an eye?




Freedom, you might take me to great heights
But I am just as free as a kite.
The string of integrity, chains my flight
With Wind or String, whom I should fight?

Oh please me don't tell me, I am not Ego
I am Character and Ego, I must forgo.
Thought Freedom was a frame of mind,
Why should it be a flame in my mind?

Yet, I wonder if this flame will propel Me to Rise

Like a Phoenix, from ashes of my ego's demise.

Then Freedom, from my ego, you have set me free

Perhaps to happiness, you are after all the key.

An entry for Blogadda's Frames of Freedom Contest

Note : My twitter followers would have been aware of my anger and anguish the last couple of days. Towards the end of the journey called rage, these emotions and thoughts, fell into place. Since real life is hardly poetic, my Id Ego, has only been partially burnt and blackmails me more with its scars. Nevertheless, I am at a better place and at least in partial peace.Wrote the poem and then clicked these pictures (In the dark, a candle (including the first picture), a Silverish Shell articraft for the wing effect, & a helpage calender for Mahatma Gandhi's picture (in the last image). Never thought the toughest part of the journey would be in choosing amongst all the pictures I clicked . Well freedom is definitely fun, if we don't mind the tiny burdens. The line "Power is the True Test of Character" is my favourite quote, and it explains, the source of many a problems. From littering, taking an office pencil, or crores in scam. Gandhi never advocated non-violence as a weapon for the weak,(he asked them to be brave and fight back), but asked the strong to follow non-violence to prove the strength in their soul too. Forgiveness isn't about saying its OK but choosing to Respond instead of React.

Even when you can get away with it,

Ask yourself, what you would Not Do.

Well, thats the Real You, a sum of your Values.

Fly & I - Why a Fly

The Fly refuses to fly away
And my thoughts & posts on the fly, too refuses to fly away
Even though I realise, blogs on Flies ,
Will make my blog readers fly away

But then this blog is about my
expressions, not just for the readers eye
So what if they choose to skip this post
More than them, I should value myself the most

Now back to the Fly and I
or rather the Fly and Why

Not why I blog about Fly
But about why some life would want to be a fly
Not a significant life
And what is life
If its not significant?

And who decides the significance of the life
The media of course, without them, what would be life?
or the cool people who ask you to "get a life"?

But then is there a difference between being significant in others eyes
But not being significant to yourself because you stop being "I"
And whats that "I", is it just what one perceives of "I"

What will be the fly if it perceives itself as not a fly?
Will its life be one big lie?

Or what if its parents lied
and told it was more significant
and not just a mere fly
Told it, one can be what one wants to be
Yet do want something significant
Even if one doesnt want anything significant

What should one be?
Something significant?
Something one is good at?
Even if one doesnt want to be That?

So if the soul within the fly had an option
Would it still have choosen to be a fly
Would it choose to be a guy
or a big star in the sky
Or think I still want to be a fly,
because otherwise I wont be I

Guess the real I is the "I", I want to be
Even when I dont have any reason to be that "I"
And yet willing to take responsibility for being that "I"

Aaah life seems so easy for the fly
It doesnt have to questions like Why
But then still I dont want to be a fly
So there I go with another blog on fly

Significant, the fly might not be
Yet I blog about it
Simply because I want to do it
And "I" am the most significant in my life.

Fly & I - More stupid than a Fly

I try to make the best of this moment,
though there is a fly buzzing around me
And while I am absolutely irritated with it
It seems truly delighted to be around me

Yet if an earthquake happened now
How silly would it be, to not enjoy the last moments of my life,
Just because of a fly?

I try to duck the fly and oh God, thats a trial
Errr God wouldnt the world be better if while creating the fly, you had paused for a while..

Well its just a fly not a bee or a mosquito or aargh a cockroach..
So perhaps I should try to be thankful and smile
And though life isnt great, this post isnt great
I will be thankful for it being not worse, and still smile for a while

Because even if its not a earthquake, ultimately my life is going to be only for a (long) while
And my life includes the time I spend sulking over a fly
Time has a funny way of flying even when you dont want it to fly
And ultimately, I dont want to be more stupid than a fly.

Blog post no.270

Just Smile

You don't have to feel great to smile
You don't need an excuse or reason to smile.
Yet if you feel you do, just smile for a few seconds at yourself
And you would feel good
And what better reason do you need?
Just to feel good, many abuse their bodies
Why go for that when you can achieve it with a smile.

Think of Smile as a Single Run
And a Laugh as a Six or Four.
You need not hit a Six or Four with every ball
Even singles count.

Be glad you are not out,
Instead of waiting for a stimulus to make you smile.
Stimulate yourself with a smile :)

Power of One - Spirit of Seed

The soil was overwhelming
Though small and against the might
It was ready to proceed
To face the world, the small seed.

It didnt worry, wondering if it would get water
The essense of life is to grow inspite of challenges
With this attitude who wont succeed?
When down in dumps, I try to learn from the seed

A Butterfly called Happiness

Muse : You want to write a blog post on happiness?Wouldn't it be better to write a book on it with the title " 376 ways to be happy" and appear on talkshows and promote it, and try to make a million? After all everyone wants to be happy.

Self : Maybe I don't want to be happy

Muse : Huh I know you are on the crazier side, but surely everyone wants to be happy

Self : Well there is a difference between satisfaction and happiness. For eg, if my home gets water (which can be considered a luxury in India) I am merely satisified, but if the water supply is cut off for a day, I become unhappy and grumble. Similarly when 24000 die everyday from hunger, I am merely satisfied if I have a good lunch. So I have decided searching for happiness has no logic, when being satisfied itself is a big deal in today's world. Anyway I think I have arrived at the formula for happiness - Stop expecting and start accepting.

Muse : Well I guess if we realise that its futile to expect others to be what we want them to be and there is only one person we can change and thats ourself. And buying stuff which we think will make us happy, will give only temporary pleasure, but not happiness, makes sense (and reduces the credit card amount). But isnt accepting being passive and having a "I give up attitude" .

Self : an excerpt from an article I read in http://www.almamater.com/
"When acceptance precedes any action , there will be happiness in that action
When resistance precedes any action,there will be misery in that action.
Action is a necessity for any progess, but the question is do you want to happily progress or miserably progess.
There is lot of difference between "I dont like WHAT IS, so I want to be THIS" and "I accept WHAT IS and now I would make it THIS
.....Misery and Bliss are not matter of destiny, but a matter of choice born out of choosing resistance or acceptance.
The argument is not about what has to be done... the question is what preceds that action... resistance or acceptance?
When i resist what is happening in life, what is happening in life continues to happen, creating misery in me. When I accept what is happening in life, what is happening in life continues to happen leaving me blissful."

Muse : Ha Ha so you do want to be happy and blissful

Self : Well its something like wanting the butterfly, the moment you try to catch it, it flies away. Act indifferent and it comes to you.

Muse : But will this apply for those with problems?

Self : Its easier said than done. And thats for me too. But lets realise even Bill Gates has problems. Instead of thinking I would be happy if so and so conditions are fulfilled, its better to think I can be happy even if the so and so conditions are not fulfilled. Happiness in life cant be achieved by escaping from problems, but by tackling problems. It would be stupid if Saurav Ganguly thought, I can hit a century provided the bowler doesnt bowl a short one. (Sorry Saurav:D)

Muse : Hmmm if happiness is a butterfly, what is sorrow, a mosquito :D

Self : Maybe a caterpillar :)

New Year Resolutions

The New Year is a good time to make resolutions but what is the point of resolutions if we cant keep them?

The right time for new year resolutions is Now. Surely you would have an idea of what you would like to be your new year resolution? Well start implementing it today. And see if you can maintain it and modify it accordingly on the New Year eve.

Tips for new year resolution

Review your last year's resolution.
Have you succeeded, if not, why have you failed. Examine it and if necessary keep the same resolution this year too.

Drastic never works
No one can change overnight, so avoid drastic resolutions

Not toooooo easy please
Not being drastic, doesnt mean it shouldnt be challenging.

Not too many please
Keep a focus. Yes we would all like to become everything to everyone, but doing everything may not be possible, and the chances are that we would get discouraged and give up after a month. Maintain a core focus for each year, if you are able to do achieve everything else , great! But dont give up on the core.

Let it be for a year not a day
New year is the time to plan for the entire year. Let the resolution not be something for which you need just couple of days.

Have a plan
Whats the point of intention if you cant think of execution?
Write down what you have to do carry out the intention and of course, do it:)

Reminders
Sometimes its easy to forget the resolution after the New Year euphoria passes away, and one is tempted to postpone the resolution to the next year. :) Plan to remind yourself of it throughout the year. Make a mention of it in the diary, online reminders or if required inform people close to you about your resolution.

Strengths , weakness, Opportunities Threats
Enhance your strengths, act against your weakness, see what how you can utitlise the opportunities for the year and see if you have to prepare yourself against any threats.

Bifurcate your tasks into Urgent and Important, Urgent but not Important, Important but not Urgent, not Important, not Urgent.
Let your resolution concentrate on what is not urgent but still important to you.

Suggestions
New year resolution need not be about people quitting bad habits , it can be about deciding to learn something new, to do something differently, better management of Health, Wealth and Time etc

All the best and Happy New Year

Pawn Power - Wise Donkey says

"Wise Donkey, I want to achieve greatness but how can I do it, when I am born in an ordinary family. What are the chances for an ordinary person like me becoming extraordinary?" asked one of my friends.

Wise Donkey's reply
Well mate, Shakespeare said, "Some are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon them"

In the chessboard, the king is born great, and queen by her association with the king has greatness thrust upon her. (In real life it can be other way around too). But think of the pawn. It might start by being an ordinary pawn but with Planning, if it completes the 6 moves, it can have the Powers of the queen.

Biologically birds can fly, humans can't. But haven't we supassed the birds now and have flown into space too? Don't be intimidated by the environment, its a thought unfit for humans :)

And if you become "great" and if you give an acceptance speech in some award ceremony, dont forget to thank your friend Wise Donkey :D

Began with a Rupee for Laloo

Manmohan noticed that Laloo was procrastinating many decisions. Being an economist, he decided to use the power of compounding to teach a lesson and invited Laloo to a game of golf.

Manmohan told Laloo that if he missed the first hole he would have to pay him one rupee; from there on it would be double for every hole that he missed. Laloo thought for a moment. Manmohan was asking money for every hole he would miss, not every shot, there are 18 holes, and they were starting at Re.1 one only. He tried to calculate how much he would lose if he missed all the 18 holes, but decided it wouldn't be much anyway. And of course he couldnt get it right immediately in every hole.

And at the end, he gave a Rs.100 note to Manmohan and asked for the change. But Manmohan asked for the balance of Rs.1,30,972! Laloo got angry and asked for
the calculation. Prepared for it, Manmohan gave him the calculation sheet. Hole
Amount Owed

1 1

2 2

3 4

4 8

5 16

6 32

7 64

8 128

9 256

10 512

11 1024

12 2048

13 4096

14 8192

15 16384

16 32768

17 65536

18 131072



Metaphorically, what we do not realise is that when we postpone doing something in life even by a day, the gap in the beginning is only "2 minus 1" but the gap later is "131072 minus 65536". Our procrastinations may not hurt us too much in the beginning but what we will be deprived of in the long run can be very damaging.

Thankfully Manmohan didnt invite Laloo to a game of chess and start at Re.1 for the first square ask it to be doubled for every square in the game i.e 64. It would have started at Re.1 and for the 64th square it
would have been Rs.18,446,744,073,709,600,000. Even chess, at the 16th square , quarter way mark its just Rs.65,536. And in the half way mark at 32nd square, it becomes Rs.42,94,967,296. And remember it started at Re.1.


We understand the importance of health and fitness but we postpone our efforts in that direction. We realise the importance of financial planning and investment but we procrastinate our initiative that direction. We comprehend the importance of board exams but push our preparations till it becomes a crisis. We find pushing papers into the pending folder as the most convenient option.

Of course you can replace the characters with your own personal favourite characters and get a good laugh. Or you can decide, the life and the lifestyle you want at 60s and 70s. The benefits of any habit or deed, good or bad is always compounded. We may not appreciate the
importance of healthy food or exercise or financial planning or communicating our love to our family now. Most of us are still at an early hole, lets make the choices now. And let the power of compounding work, in every sphere of our life. Perhaps Laloo wouldn't have agreed if he knew about the magic of compounding in the beginning. Now you know it, if you decide to procrastinate even now, you will be dumber than the Laloo in the story.

The choice is yours :)

The Waves & The Rocks

The waves come, some gentle , some with a roar
Full of life, hope and cheer, towards the shore
But the hard rocks stand, on their way
and in a second, they splash and become mere spray.

And they withdraw meekly, back to the bay
Can I learn a lesson from that today?
But the waves don't give up, do they?
And years later, as sand, the rocks lay.
Oh the waves seem to have won their way.

Consistent efforts, do seem to pay
The immediate results - don't always count
Let the adversary's strength, not intimidate you,
Losing the battle need not mean, losing the war
Never ever give up, the waves seem to say

Light a Lamp

Diwali, the festival of lights
Is celebrated with sounds and lights
To celebrate light,
only fireworks one need not ignite
.Give some to the needy and see their delight

What you give may not be an eternal light
But like the lamps may give a temporary respite
But dont let that stop you from being you.
and prove that if not at all times, sometimes you can care too.
A lamp's light doesnt diminish by lighting another lamp

When you give, your spirits too dont become damp
Celebrate this festival of lights
By lighting a lamp in another's life
Wishing all the O3 bloggers a Happy Diwali