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Sep 27, 2010

TV Thoughts

They didn't want to watch the match with us, because we might not use the projector and the big screen. Then they will have to see it on a small TV, brand unknown. Not even a LCD or a flat screen, forget LED, or 42inch. What in the world were we thinking?

Decades ago, it was okat to watch TV with friends at the neighbours. Today, the neighbours decide if we are worthy of their friendship based on what TV we own.

DD was not fun but today's DD (Disappointing Distance) is more horrible. Its not just adults who judge you based on
1.The locality and number of bedrooms in your house
2.The car
3.The TV you own.
Its kids too.

I haven't forgotten the fun in waiting for some fun on DD. Watching "Aamchi Mathi Aamchi Manoos" or "Apan yaana Pahila Ka?" and thinking an interview would end, if they showed the long shot (in a neighbour's house of course). Being amazed as a teen, when a friend's sister had TWO channels and could watch a match without being at the mercy of a cable operator who rotated channels.

I have the money to buy a great TV for my kid but how will I give my kid, the fun I had with TV, as a kid?

Why is it so tough to convince my friends and neighbours its not about Price but about Value. Fun is not just about what you see, but how and with whom you see it:)

PS : They are still my friends. I do feel bad when they don't get my point of view but as DD has thought me, Life isn't What you want it to be:) And I accept and love my friends inspite of their "snobbish values".

PPS : And who am I kidding, when the ribbing gets too bad, I am glad I have the projector:)


I don't think Bikram's Blog needs directions from this blog, but instead of writing a post I thought I could mention his post Shaheed Sardar Bhagat Singh.

Shameful Sanitation

In the sea of humanity, some fishes are more equal than others
If the toilets offered to visitors were not hygienic I wonder about the toilets offered to 400000 CWG workers. But in an image obsessed nation, these Indian workers don't matter. 

UN estimates 55 percent of Indians still defecate outside.The media conveniently sleeps to the fact that more Indians have access to mobile phones than improved sanitation and wakes up only to criticize Kalmadi. 

I am not saying unclean toilets are okay. Just saying Clean Sanitation options should not be a luxury and should be a right of every Indian.

2 articles which didn't say the usual

I am sick of writing about CWG, but sanitation is not a silly cause to support. Would like to recycle 180 feet and  Waste.

PS : Clicked the Pic on the latest trip. 

Sep 22, 2010


My brain is brimming with blog posts but I have to deal with this 2 and half year old.

I prefer to keep my offline life, offline, but thought I would make an exception and talk about whats been happening to me lately.

Saw Inception , after being depressed about the ending for couple of days, decided Cobb's guilt would have got him out of the dream. Guilt is more powerful than Love.

Read few days back, the three books in the Millennium series, by Stieg Larsson. Felt the original title of the first book "Men who hate women" was more apt than "Girl with the Dragon Tattoo". There are not just men who hate women, but even women who hate women. My most recent encounter, a maths teacher who said, women can't compete with men when it comes to cooking. (I couldn't resist pointing out, that perhaps, men focussed on taste and were more liberal with oil salt etc, while many women who cook regularly think of their husband's cholestrol bp and are moderate in its usage.) Five minutes later, she said, girls were stupids who had to slog and study everyday but boys could study at the last minute and still be brilliant. And continued to admire boys. I didn't argue on this one. Even if I had pointed out few girls who studied at the last minute and came up with good marks, she wouldn't have admired them.  I just pitied and prayed for the girls in her maths class. I simply gave up on the conversation. And for the record, I think its stupid to generalise that one gender can cook better than the other. On maths, even if the brains are different, the ALL boys and ALL girls is a bit too much. After reading the book, I thought about her and others like her (men and women) who hate women. And wondered if there were men and women who hated men. And for a whole day I was stumped. There are different standards for men and women. If Hilary Clinton behaved liked Bill, she wouldn't have got away with it so easily.

I tried to think of atleast one woman or one man whom I have met, who hated men. And I couldn't come up with the above teacher's equivalent. Till I thought, under what circumstances will the above teacher hate men? And the answer is so simple. I have a feeling she would hate a man who decides to be a homemaker or a man who wears skirts and lipsticks occasionally. I don't know if its true. But in my mind, I have restored the gender neutral balance.

I lost few files. One of the files was an excel file a daily planner which mentions what each member of the family had and will be having for the next month, for breakfast lunch dinner and snack. What me and my kid wore, the anniversaries and the expenses and whether I walked or had fruit. And the chores I did. And a 2do list. No I am not an organised person. I have that file, precisely because I am not organised. I have shopping lists, packing lists, 2do lists because I know I am stupid and liable to make mistakes. I believe in being a wise donkey even in real life.
Now I am busy typing in all the databanks. (The Shopping list, The Packing List, The Dinner Menu List, The Dress List etc and of course the Daily Planner till December.) So that I rotate all the clothes, and recipes and don't spend too much time on trying to remember if I have forgotten something.

Unknown, if you are reading this, I didn't win or get a mention in the Freedom Contest. Didn't pout this time, just shrugged and moved on.

It might not be a coherent blog post, but just wanted to update. Rachna's comment acted as the Kick. And I have been back to mention I will have to go back for 3 more days on a short trip. Then I hope to blog till October 10th before leaving on a one month trip. And somewhere in between I have to shift my house.

I have kicked myself many times over choosing the online Identity wise donkey. (Try to tell that name to a group of bloggers in a blog meet). But now I am think thats better than Parents who think their children's kindergarden and primary school marks are a reflection of their Identity.

I have to catch up with many blog posts. Hope to catch up with them by Tuesday.

On Ayodhya, Would like to recycle Path of Ram

Sep 6, 2010


My tweets on #LegendofRajni started by @PritishNandy yesterday. Sorry followers for filling your timeline. Perhaps I owe an apology to Mr.Nandy too, but I was inspired and out of control.
For those who  think he is just a regional superstar, well he has fans not just in Japan. A Superstar is not a Planetary Thing.
He is the only celebrity who doesn't mind being photographed without Makeup, in the Entire Universe! How many times has Ash, his Robot co star and former Miss World , come out without make up? (Thanks $#23ror3fero from Neptune for pointing it out). So without wasting more time, lets start with the Legend of Rajni.

  • In the Real #Hitchhiker'sguide2galaxy Earth is known as the cave where Rajnikanth meditates #LegendsofRajni
  • 743825 telescopes across the universe are tracking Rajnikanth Live #LegendsofRajni
  • #Stephen Hawking has changed his statement to Rajnikanth created & sustains Universe #LegendofRajni 
  • #StephenHawking discovered today, the universe revolves around Rajnikanth #LegendsofRajni
  • You may run to the end of Universe to hide from Him, but He would have strolled there b4 you #LegendsofRajni
  • Stars are flashbulbs of aliens clicking pics of #Rajnikanth #LegendsofRajni
  • Aliens landed on earth yesterday.Visited Universal Idol #Rajnikanth  & went back screaming He really Exists. #LegendofRajni 
  • Eclipses are caused by #Rajnikanth's shadows #LegendsofRajni
  • #Rajnikanth fights evil in 89283027346 planets, simultaneously  #LegendsofRajni 
  • Rajnikanth's birthday is celebrated as a festival in 830239201 planets #LegendsofRajni
  • Rajnikanth's birthday is a holiday in 74356454 planets 

  • When Rajnikanth stares at the sun, it hides behind the clouds & it rains (Yipee! it was RT by PritishNandy)
  • Rajnikanth stared at the lightning, Lightning Blinked & Closed its Eyes #LegendsofRajni

  • Is it a bird,Is it a Plane? Oh its Bal Rajnikanth skydiving again! #LegendsofRajni
  • #BalRajnikanth thought Volcanoes were just hot fountains #LegendsofRajni

  • Rajni never gets credit card calls.A marketeer swears Rajni's hand appeared thru phone & tweaked his ear #LegendofRajni
  • Rajnikanth can see through You even if you are on the other side of the Earth #LegendsofRajni 
  • #Rajnikanth can find a needle in an ocean 
  • When Rajnikanth wants diamonds, his hand scoops stones from volcanoes & cuts them with his stares #LegendsofRajni
  • His statue at Tussads spins zooms & flies #LegendofRajni
  • Once Rajnikanth reached upto the sky to save a crashing plane while retrieving a sinking ship with other hand #LegendsofRajnI
  • #Rajnikanth can make #NarasimhaRao laugh. #LegendsofRajni
  • #Osama cannot be found because #Rajnikanth kicked him out of Earth #LegendsofRajni
  • #LegendsofRajni can never be publishd on Earth. All the Trees on Earth can't produce enough paper for even 1 Chapter
  • #ThegreatRajnidiet Breakfast Bullets & Grenades shake, Lunch Knives which have crunch. Dinner Spears & Arrows. #LegendsofRajni
  • He can converse in 543194 languages while sleeping (Can't tweet the languages he can speak while awake due to Twitlimit #LegendsofRajni 
  • While shooting for a song in Switzerland, he held up an avalanche with his little finger #LegendsofRajni

  • James #Bond may have license to kill #Rajnikanth has license to Thrill #LegendsofRajni 
  • Hollywood has not made #LegendsofRajni movie coze it can't find technology to showcase his Powers
  • Indian version of #Expendables stars Rajnkanth with 10 other Rajnikanths #LegendsofRajni 
  • #Superman, #Batman & #Spiderman complained, How can we do all this! What are we #Rajnikanth! #LegendofRajni

  • #Rajnikanth styles Giorgio #Armani #LegendsofRajni
  • Beauty queens ape him when it comes to hair tossing

  • If #Rajnikanth kicks a football once, the ball spins around the stadium & becomes a goal, 200 times over #LegendsofRajni
  • When #Rajnikanth is made a goalkeeper he kicks 839475 goals #LegendsofRajni
  • #106yearoldvirgin vowed she will mate someone like #Rajnikanth only #LegendsofRajni 
  • For his honeymoon, Rajnikanth took his wife for a stroll on Jupiter's moon #LegendsofRajnI
  • #SalmanKhanisShirtless coze if he meets #Rajnikanth he can get #Rajni's autograph near his heart #LegendsofRajni 
  • Harry Potter is actually the story of younger Rajnikanth #LegendsofRajnI
  • Rajnikanth is not on Twitter. Who needs followers when you have infinite worshipers #LegendsofRajni

  • #mychemicalromance is the story of Japanese Robots pining for #Shankar 's #Robot #LegendofRajni 
  • #1billionrajnikanthers can easily defeat #5millionbeliiebers #LegendsofRajni 
  • #biggestliethatworked Rajnikanth is merely a superstar #LegendsofRajni 
  • Beyonce is not celebrating her bday. Rajnikanth forgot to wish her. #LegendsofRajni #happybdaybeyonce 

Eyes lights candles, Smiles melts hearts, Wth Finger Flicks Evil Fought. WhoisHe,she thght.Thats #LegendofRajni Sweetheart

Sep 4, 2010

Audacity of Art

The giant display case on the wall, still had the newspaper cutout. It mentioned she was a Child Prodigy, and carried a picture of her with her teachers. Near it, the trophy she had won the school last year, glistened. But today, when she whispered wishes, none of the teachers, listened..She stood head bowed, outside the Principal's Office.

This year, she hadn't won the Prestigious Painting Competition, yesterday. Her Art Teacher was disgusted with her. While her parents were furious and ashamed of her. She was scared, of the Principal, but tried to console herself with, it can't be worse, I will get used to it in couple of days.

Yesterday night, she had painted on the topic again, and had taken it to the Art Teacher today morning. It was a gesture meant to convey, I get it, I can do it. But that just infuriated the Teacher more."You knew what was required, and yet had the audacity to paint, something else yesterday!" she had screamed, flinging away the painting in disgust. The seven year old girl, wondered if that was the reason she was being called to the principal's office.

Summoned, she went meekly in, scared. Not daring to look at the principal in the eye. "I heard you didn't win this time" He said. She managed to mumble, she realised what was required and that the entrance fee was big and she was sorry to disappoint all those who supported her...

He interuptted her with "Did you give it your best?"

She looked up suprised, eyes brimmed with tears, blinking. She bit her lower lip, to stop it from quivering. Choked with emotions, she managed to nod furiously.

"Well, then, well done." came the reply and she stood in a daze, and stared, amazed.

"I am not an expert on Art, but the essence of Creativity is not Popularity but Integrity. Be true to Yourself and Express Yourself. I am told, Van Gogh sold only one painting in his lifetime, yet today his paintings are worth millions. Not just in art, whatever you do, as long as you are not harming others, be Yourself, thats why You were created. You are unique, just like everyone around You."

"Now, have they given back, your painting?" She nodded and dug out the Dud Painting from her school bag. She summoned up courage and dared to ask "Do you like it?". He smiled and said, no, I won't pretend to like it. But as long as you like it, its Priceless not Worthless."

"But my parents are upset that I wasted their money and painted a Dud" she said through sobs.

"I will talk to your parents" he said. "Artists are not like fixed deposits, which churns out safe returns, but like equities. Sometimes Superlative,and brilliant  returns and at times shocking " he paused,  "Duds". If we start expecting artists to deliver safe bets, we will only produce mediocre artists, who are scared to experiment and take risks."

Passing back the painting, the Principal said she could leave, the little girl still dazed thanked the principal and with a twinkle in his eye the Principal probably said "Welcome". But why did she hear it as "Swagatham"?

Outside, the girl leaned on the wall and murmered, I am probably day dreaming again.

Dedicated to Ms.Khan, Madhavrao Bhagwat High School, Vile Parle, Mumbai. 
Mam, decades ago, I argued with you and turned out to be wrong. You didn't take me to task, for my audacity. But appreciated it with "Its good to have Its good to have confidence like this, keep it up". A passing remark, it might have been to you. But not for me. I only vaguely remember the lesson in History I argued about, but your response, when I felt humiliated, has made you an integral part of my history. Teachers like you are the true artists, who shape our nation's future. You mould us, not with just knowledge but your attitude and affection. Happy Teacher's Day.

Sep 2, 2010

Shades of Saffron

Dear Mr.Chidambaram (or Chidu),
Sometimes, you ask for the impossible. You want to use the word "Saffron Terror" and still get the support from All of "Us" against those XYZ terrorists. Perhaps you thought, people didn't see red, when I use Red Terror for Maoists. But excuse me, do you see Red in our National Flag? Besides, saffron has many Shades, its not just in our national flag but its also sacred to the Hindus and all right minded humans, including Julia Roberts. So if you thought by using the term, Saffron Terror, you would be alienating those XYZ terrorists from mainstream Hindus, and majority of Indians, you are WRONG. Whats your hidden agenda? You want to be called "Buddhu Chiddu"?

Being an Indian, you should have realised that we have a process for everything, so please follow the due process, and then use the term Saffron Terror, as many times as you please.

Follow the masters, the Fairness Cream Makers. They don't say black or wheatish is ugly, just say fairness is beautiful and associated with success and desired by all.  So sponsor a meet of Hindu leaders and ask them to wear Orange. And coin a phrase "Future of Hinduism, Orange and Bright". See we are not saying anything negative about Saffron, just saying Orange is brighter and better.

Make Orange the National Fruit. Point out India is the Diabetes Capital of the World. And point out with charts and cartoons, the glycemic index of Mango is higher than that of Orange. The government cares for the health of its citizen and so we would like to make Orange the new national fruit. And have an Orange India Campaign. Point out Orange is a Pavitra Phal, while Ripe Mangoes is filled with Rich Chemicals. If the Mango growers object, threaten them quietly with "I will not let you export our national fruit".
If you are very scared of controversy, add an Orange colored National Vegetable (Pumpkin or Carrot). Follow the Beta-carotene routine instead of diabetic routine. Specifically point out that Beta carotene is great for eyes and you want Indians to be Visionaries.

When Karunanidhi (Karuna to northies) wanted to encourage Tamil names for Tamil movies, he simply removed the entertainment tax. (50 crores loss is worth the pleasure of an aam admi, not consulting a dictonary to check the meaning of the movie.)
Subsidise all products which use the orange color. If you don't want to actually give the subsidy, just add some loopholes, even accountants won't protest, since they will be making more money. But the important point remains, you will seen as Pro Hindu, Pro Growth not Anti-Saffron. If those from other religions protest and ask for subsidies of Green White or Whatever, point out Orange is not religious but National and Neutral.

The communists would probably get outraged over the dynastic influence of Dutch over the color propaganda. And the BJP might join them. So get few Swamis (wearing orange) to point out on TV, for centuries, we worshiped Orange since its closer to our fire God Agnidev. And since Orange was targeted by our Invaders, our ancestors used a duller color Saffron, to camouflage themselves. There you go, Two Birds One Stone. Orange is associated with Resistance and History and Fire Power. And Saffron  associated with fear and perhaps cowardice. Which color do you think our Hindus would opt?
Start a rumour, Saffron flower is the symbol of the Stone Throwers of Kashmir.

Indian Public has lost faith in Police, Politicians, Media & Judiciary. We believe only in advertisements, especially those endorsed by Celebrities.

  • Get Deepika to wear Orange at Cannes, Suggest to Julia's Stylist, Orange is in,
  • Mention to Mukesh Ambani, Mumbai Indians, and therefore Sachin should wear Orange,
  • Pressurise Pawar  to change Men in Blue to Warrriors in Orange (hey the team might lose but Shewag,Dhoni Sachin still sell),
  • Hint to Raj Thackeray, Marathi manoos prefers Oranges to Mangoes.
  • And ask Bappida to sing a tribute to Tagore wearing Orange colors, since "Tagore meditated among orange groves and conceived of a new type of university, desiring to "make Shantiniketan the connecting thread between India and the world." (It will become a hit on Youtube & Internet Hindus will be more benevolent towards Orange.)
  • And get TeleShopping Network to suggest Orange colored Yantra makes the future bright and succesful. (Actually they will probably do it automatically, you don't have to suggest to them.)

6.Proxy Criticise
Next time a Godman is caught in a scandal, get a Godman wearing Orange to say its now a Saffron Shame. If someone objects, let the Orange Godman retaliate with "Sex Swami" is not Shameful?
Make sure SoniaG, BurkhaD and Arundathi don't wear Orange and get few bloggers to wonder why they haven't worn Orange yet.

Thus, after throughly ruining the Significance of Saffron, you can use the term Saffron Terror, Saffron Monster or Saffron Sadists. And you will have an Orange Outrage against those xyz terrorists.  

But then, those xyz terrorists might object to you, for associating them with Saffron.