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May 30, 2006

Do U Know - Tobacco Deaths

1 in 10 adults, die due to tobacco (about 5 million deaths each year). Tobacco is the second major cause of death in the world.Search Engines allowed, answer on Thursday. Source : None got it right:( Busybee though got almost to it.

Smokers, its horrible to my blog, why do this to your life? :D

Find out what happens when you quit smoking

And how foolish of you to go out and reduce your life by 11 MINUTES, with EVERY CIGARETTE you smoke. If that's not bad enough, smokers are likely to die a more painful death and spend longer being ill while they are alive.

See also : Sex life goes up in Smoke

Aargh Diaries - A Quote on Quota

"Would you mind if you were treated by a Quota Doctor." Ten days back, this was the question that a TV journo asked me when I was out for my morning jog.
And I cursed to myself. Just my luck. My 30 seconds of fame should when I am sweating profusely and in an unflattering outfit. But though I may not look my best, and look far worse when next to the journo who had time for makeup, I wanted the maximum time on TV, and that meant neither a Yes nor a No as an answer. So replied.
"Why not?"

"You mean you wouldnt mind being treated by a Quota Doctor?" (I guess the journo would have thanked his stars. After all there could be claims of bias from the proquota guys, saying how come you never come up with an non-political intellectuals (Citizens who can speak English, even if they dont vote) who agrees with quota. And now the journo would be able to fill that quota of quotes and say their channel truly reflects society and all views.)

I replied "Well a doctor is a doctor. Just because a doctor got admission due to a quota doesnt mean the doctor wont pass out. Rather than worry about just the admission basis, shouldnt I also worry about how the doctor passed, whether there was any copying involved or some leaked question papers or big donation or some bigee's influence etc? Anyway right now I dont ask my doctor, did you pass out on top of the class or where you at the bottom of the class or if you cheated during exams ."
(Right now I judge my doctor by :
1.The ability to speak English
2.The car (bigger the car, more successful the doctor and more successful the doctor, better probably was the treatment).
3.And the skin color. (somehow fair skin means smarter people, as the fairness cream ads point out.))

Journo with an earnest expression "So you think merit isnt important in a holy profession?"
"Holy profession! Most of the doctors treat for fees. Nothing wrong with that, but nothing holy about it either. Why does the holiness disapper when One Crore girls are aborted in just twenty years due to ultrasound scans, making it tough for perhaps one crore guys to get dates. Why does the holiness disappear when I have to wait for couple of hours to see my doctor , though I have an appointment, but allows the medical representatives to walk in almost immediately. If the doctor got the admission by merit, then why cant they see the patients by merit? Why do they need medical representatives? And do they let me know on what basis they decide the merit of the medicine they prescribe to me? The price, the effectiveness or the presentation of the rep? And what about the doctor-lab nexus or kidney .."
Just when I paused to breath, I get the next question

"So you think after so many decades reservation is still required"
When millions still cant think "Caste no bar" when it comes to marriage, how can caste be irrelevant? And when will caste become no bar in a marriage? When the "lower caste" is a doctor or an engineer? Not when the other person is a scavenger? Why do we worry about quotas imposed by politicians and not about quotas imposed by society. Why do we not ask why after Tsunami only one caste handled the dead bodies without any protective gear in Tamilnadu? Why dont we care about these reservations and say hey its not fair? Because our children wont be affected by this, right? Forget caste, we wouldnt want our maid's daughter to become a doctor, if our daughter is just a nurse."

"So you think the economic criteria is important?"
Yes. The underpriveileged are not from just one caste. But lets not pretend to care for the poor in the "forward castes" just when there is a talk about reservations."

"So you agree with Arjun Singh and VP Singh in principle?"
I hate Arjun Singh, just like I hated the Joshi before him. They indulge in gimmicks and have "ideas" for IIMs and IITs etc, just so that they would get more coverage, instead of worrying about the datas like 50% of Indian children aged 6-18 do not go to school" or "In India, only 20% of habitation has a secondary school And VP Singh, he can talk about reservations at home, but goes abroad for his own medical treatment, because the water is cleaner there. Instead of reservations let there be a rule that all MPs and MLAs should get treatment from a government hospital in his/her constituency. And then ask these MPs and MLAs, do you mind a lot because you are treated in your constituency?"

"So you are for quota or against quota"
"I am against this hypocrisy of all things are right except the quota system. And I am against the hypocrisy of pretending that because doctors in some cities go back to work, all will be fine with our nation. Instead of talking about the doctors who are not working, why doesnt the media talk about the people who dont have a doctor. Why doesnt the media talk about sterlization camps where more than 100s are operated when the government norm is not more than 20 or the bicycle pumps used for putting air into the women's abdomen before laparoscopic operations or the lack of sterlization or that 63% of injections are unsafe in India?
Instead of talking about doctors from a majority community and the quota for them, why not talk about the lack of healthcare to the majorityIndians? Quota might be an issue and just because the medicos are striking it could become an urgent issue. But lets not forget the important issues, just because majority of Indians dont go on strikes.

I got a curt "Thank you" and I am still waiting for it to be aired. I have told all my friends and relatives have made the biggest sacrifice in life for me. They have stayed away from the remote and watched just that channel. I had even worked out a smooth shift schedule. And I had planned to transfer the tape and make it into a video blog. And they havent still aired my opinion.

Well if it was aired, maybe I would have been ostracized by my community and my doctor wouldnt be pleased, so perhaps it was for the best. I will just continue to jog everyday with designer clothes and make up and hope a TV crew asks me for my opinion on Rakhi Sawant.

Aargh Diaries is a fictional series.

May 29, 2006

Aargh Diaries - Partners at Work

"Dear Aargh
Our company has started a matrimonial website for us. What do you think?

I dont know if the person who devised this idea is a fan of Arjun Singh, I think it has more problems than benefits. Dont even dream of marrying someone within your office. And here are some reasons to avoid it.

1. You cant party all night and say you were working late. (So what if it works for the spouse too. Its just going to lead to resentment within marriage).

2. You cant pretend to be the most important person at work.

3. Your spouse will be aware of every bonus, incentive, raise that you get or dont get.

4. Colleagues who want to annoy you, would either flirt with your spouse or mention you were flirting with them (depending on their sex or sexuality)

5. Its tough to site traffic jam as an excuse for being late, when your spouse arrives on time.

6. Neither of you would be able to finish work at the same time, yet you would be obliged to wait for one another, in view of petrol hikes, and its just going to lead to resentment and more time at work. (You would think, let me finish this report while I wait, and your spouse would finish it 15 mins before you finish that report and then would start on another report till you finish this report.. )

7. Chances of both of you getting the same day off is slim, if in the same department.

8. It would be tough for one of you to quit on the spot, after yelling at the boss because, the other would have to face the heat.

9. If your building collapses, both of you are going to suffer physically.

10. If you work in a company like Enron, both of you are likely to suffer, financially

11. If you have a fight at home, others at work might know about it and as luck would have it, the colleague you hate the most, would be your spouse's best friend.

12. Your spouse could end up being your boss, and thats just going to cause resentment at home and irritation at work, and ultimately, a dash for divorce.

In a nutshell, if you are partners at work,
chances are, your life partnership wont work.

And instead of being eternally grateful and offering me a month's salary atleast, I got this reply from S

"#$#@$#@@$, this was my idea,did you forget I am in HR?
Some corporates are already doing it in India and it isnt bizzare
And instead of saying I would get a promotion at work
You are stupid enough to think this wont work."

Aargh :(

Aargh Diaries is a fictional series

May 17, 2006

Do U Know - Just a Century to be Developed

The UN Development Programme's Human Development Report 2005 has said that as per the growth trends “ it will take India until 2106 to catch up with high income countries”

Search Engine allowed. Source

May 15, 2006

Leo in your Life

Scratched your head, pulled your hair and screamed to the heaven, Oh God why did you put this $%#$@^ Leo in my life!!? Well hear is your answer.

1.Leo Employees
You would want to hire someone who would Work Hard, yet would be Happy to be paid Less.
Your search stops with the Leo Employee. Forget the salary, give a fancy designation, preferably President of ____. Mention frequently how much you appreciate the employee, how valuable the person is to the organisation and watch the magic!

2.Leo Boss
Ask for advise and guidance. APPRECIATE the advise and guidance, and the Practical Demonstration of your job, you would have your Boss doing your job too. And what more do you want?

3.Leo Spouse
Appreciate,Admire,Appreciate. Even if it comes to cleaning the toilet, do it and to start with, you will have the cleanest toilet in town.
If the food is burnt, appreciate your spouse for eating burnt food and you will have her/him eating out of your hand.
If you disagree, appreciate your spouse for giving you the freedom to call him/her names.
You can do whatever you want, just learn to appreciate forever.
And dont forget Leos can be generous. Just hint that royalty and generousity go together. (No need to hint Leos are like royalty, they would be aware of it). But just be careful, while it will be wonderful if they showered their generousity on you, you would be bankrupt if everyone around your spouse, starts with the hints.

4.Leo Child
Yes its tough when your child thinks it knows more than you. But just appreciate its maturity and request the Leo darling to be more responsible. Leo hates letting others down.

5.Leo Blogger
No comments in your blog? Want an ego boost through the number of hits and comments.
Comment on a Leo Blogger's Blog. No need to agree, appreciating the other point of view would do..
And appreciate the Leo, when the Leo comments and mention how encouraging it is for you.
Just mention it everytime, one time appreciation is never enough for Leos. And you dont have to look hard for a Leo blogger. They may not believe in zodiacs, and astrology, but a Leo will never fail to admit he/she is an Leo. After all a group of Lions are called pride, and in being Leos, Leos take pride.

So go ahead, Thank God for putting a Leo in your life. And if you dont have one, go get a Leo in your life. But errr stick to one, its not easy taming the lions.

PS : Non - Leos, as always, while commenting,please remember Leo has a capital L.

May 14, 2006

What I cant Blog about on Mothers Day

Muse : Not this post Dear. Didnt you read myTerms and Conditions ,when you clicked Accept.

Self : Well I didnt. I thought I could trust you. And anyway who reads the Terms and Conditions before clicking Accept on the Net?

Muse : Well in page 23 para 3 covers the Topics on Mother's Day
And it reads

A. "Its suggested that you do not blog about maternal mortality on Mothers Day. Mothers Day is about the mothers who are alive, not mothers who die in the process of giving birth."
If you desire to blog about Indian maternal mortality scenario, of a mother dying Every 5 minutes in India. You are expressly forbidden to mention that our rate is worse than that of China, Sri Lanka and even Bangladesh. You are instructed to mention that our rate is better than that of Pakistan. And you are expressly forbidden to point out that it would become a matter of concern if Pakistan killed 105120 women every year."

B."You should not blog about the Earning Working Mother's and wonder if she would have some problems. You are also not allowed to blog about Non-Earning Working (homemaker) mother's and wonder if she would need financial assistance. You are of course allowed to blog and mock the concept of equality for earning women when they want maternity benefits. You are not allowed to blog about paternity benefits or the concept of father taking care of the child"

C."You are not allowed to talk about respect and women. People respect their moms. And some may respect just their moms and not other women, because, duh, these other women are not their moms. You are of course encouraged to point out that as long as one respects their own mother, their quota for respecting women is completed."

D."You are not allowed to point out that some abuses towards women would be termed as an insult if its used against our mothers. The point of abuse is to insult."

E."You are also not allowed to talk about perception of women, like stupid,irrational,cunning,deceiving, etc. And wonder if it would be ok, if someone attributed these to your mother. The point of perception, is to imagine, what we want to be the truth, is the truth."

F."You are encouraged to compare mother with motherland. But expressly forbidden to say civic sense and environmental concerns, if absent, is an abuse of motherland"

G.You are welcome to write about the pains of motherhood. But please do not vulgarise it by wondering on the magnitude of pain or by mentioning the size of a vagina and size of a baby. You are expressly forbidden to mention the lack of healthcare in our country. You are of course welcome to protest against some doctors who are unethical enough to advise a surgery instead of normal delivery.

H.You are enthusiastically encouraged to post a beautiful poem praising your mother or all mothers

I.You are enthusiastically encouraged to post a touching picture of a woman and child. If thats not possible, you are encouraged to post beautiful flowers.

J.You are enthusiastically encouraged to blog about any Page 3 star and their gift to their mother.“

Self : OK. But does it mention anywhere that I cant blog about these clauses

Muse (angrily) : No.

Self : Thanks Muse, and Aaah what else can I say, Happy Mothers Day to my Mom, my Mother in law, and 3 more women who think of me as their own daughter.

Happy Mothers Day to the bloggers who are Mothers

and a very Happy Mothers Day to the Mothers of all Bloggers.

May 9, 2006

Do U Know - Underweight Under Five Children in India

Approximately 47% of India’s under-five population is underweight. (There are more undernourished children in India than in the African Continent).

Search Engines allowed. Answer on Thursday.

Latest in Indian Sports minus Men's cricket, Sania and Narain Blog Shooting World Cup

May 6, 2006

Aargh Diaries - Mr.Wannabe Popular and TN Elections

An Email from my friend who is not from Tamilnadu.

Dear Aargh
I will have to go to Chennai tonight. I dont want to appear dumb when the local politics is being discussed and want to blend by voicing the popular view. So tell me what I should tell where.

Dear Friend, this is a quick guide to TN Assembly Election.

1.Forget BJP and Congress. Unlike in other states, they are not a major ruling or opposition party. But they allign with AIADMK and DMK. And of course they switch their alliances.

2.To find out who belongs to which party and believes which party will win, just ask which TV channel they watch. AIADMK followers will watch Jaya TV and of course will believe that Amma will rule again. DMK followers will watch Sun TV and obviously believe that Karunanidhi will win. Even if they aren't Party followers, those who watch these channels would have been brainwashed into believing it through endless ads and "news".

3.The hot topic would be the switch of Vaiko, MDMK.
He was earlier imprisoned by Amma under POTA. But now he has switched from DMK to AIADMK. If you meet a Sun TV viewer, moan how money is everything in politics and that Vaiko has no shame and mention people are not fools now. If you meet a Jaya TV viewer point out that even Karunanidhi changes from BJP ,led NDA alliance, to Congress, and he cant expect others to be unlike him. If the person nods but is uncomfortable in praising Amma, its a Vaiko fan who believes that after defeating DMK, Vaiko will rise and defeat Amma and become Chief Minister one day. Dont suggest, but if you come across this suggestion, just nod and say of course.

4.DMK has promised, it would lower the price of rice to Rs.2, and free Color TV, Gas stove, and assignment of 2 acres land to the landless poor farmers, waiver of all cooperative loans of the farmers etc. AIADMK has promised free rice of 10kg and a computer to every student who clears 12th std and some more freebies
To the Sun TV viewer, mention how finally the manifesto is pro people and how Amma initially mentioned the rice rate was impossible and then changed to free rice. To the Jaya TV viewer point out, DMK is not giving it from its party funds, that ultimately its taxpayers money. And ridicule free TV and compare it with computer.
Dont be stupid enough to mention almost 60% of Tamilnadu's rural population dont have access to a toilet. So how come TVs are more important than toilets?Or ask has anything been mentioned on healthcare and is there a policy on HIV/AIDS since the state has the highest number of HIV/AIDS patient?

5.Star Wars. Simran and Kushboo are with Amma, Radhika and Sarathkumar have gone from DMK to Amma. T Rajendar has gone back to DMK again, from Amma. Karthik is with a different party and claims his candidates are being threathened by AIADMK. Vijayakanth has a new party but since he has no TV channel, people dont seem to care much for him. Veerapan's wife is standing as an independent candidate and you can always talk about Veerapan, even if you dont know nothing about his wife. If you are with a Sun TV viewer, mention the IT minister Dayanidhi Maran is a big hit. To the Jaya TV viewer point out that thanks to Maran, Sun News can have live telecast of speeches but not Jaya TV and the crowds come not to hear the speeches but to be on TV.

Of course you can come across a person who says I watch Vijay TV, Raj TV, Win TV, DD or someother channel.. But if you do, just ask them their opinion , they are bound to have one. And nod..And you can always get away with most of the politicians are cheats and nothings going to change.

And dont make the mistake of asking if they will vote to the people you meet. Having an opinion on who should win and who will win and why someone will win doesnt mean the person will vote.

For more on the leading parties, watch the Channel wars and even though the propoganda is supposed to end today, I dont think the channels will stop airing their "news".

May 3, 2006

Fly & I - Why a Fly

The Fly refuses to fly away
And my thoughts & posts on the fly, too refuses to fly away
Even though I realise, blogs on Flies ,
Will make my blog readers fly away

But then this blog is about my
expressions, not just for the readers eye
So what if they choose to skip this post
More than them, I should value myself the most

Now back to the Fly and I
or rather the Fly and Why

Not why I blog about Fly
But about why some life would want to be a fly
Not a significant life
And what is life
If its not significant?

And who decides the significance of the life
The media of course, without them, what would be life?
or the cool people who ask you to "get a life"?

But then is there a difference between being significant in others eyes
But not being significant to yourself because you stop being "I"
And whats that "I", is it just what one perceives of "I"

What will be the fly if it perceives itself as not a fly?
Will its life be one big lie?

Or what if its parents lied
and told it was more significant
and not just a mere fly
Told it, one can be what one wants to be
Yet do want something significant
Even if one doesnt want anything significant

What should one be?
Something significant?
Something one is good at?
Even if one doesnt want to be That?

So if the soul within the fly had an option
Would it still have choosen to be a fly
Would it choose to be a guy
or a big star in the sky
Or think I still want to be a fly,
because otherwise I wont be I

Guess the real I is the "I", I want to be
Even when I dont have any reason to be that "I"
And yet willing to take responsibility for being that "I"

Aaah life seems so easy for the fly
It doesnt have to questions like Why
But then still I dont want to be a fly
So there I go with another blog on fly

Significant, the fly might not be
Yet I blog about it
Simply because I want to do it
And "I" am the most significant in my life.