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May 14, 2006

What I cant Blog about on Mothers Day

Muse : Not this post Dear. Didnt you read myTerms and Conditions ,when you clicked Accept.

Self : Well I didnt. I thought I could trust you. And anyway who reads the Terms and Conditions before clicking Accept on the Net?

Muse : Well in page 23 para 3 covers the Topics on Mother's Day
And it reads

A. "Its suggested that you do not blog about maternal mortality on Mothers Day. Mothers Day is about the mothers who are alive, not mothers who die in the process of giving birth."
If you desire to blog about Indian maternal mortality scenario, of a mother dying Every 5 minutes in India. You are expressly forbidden to mention that our rate is worse than that of China, Sri Lanka and even Bangladesh. You are instructed to mention that our rate is better than that of Pakistan. And you are expressly forbidden to point out that it would become a matter of concern if Pakistan killed 105120 women every year."

B."You should not blog about the Earning Working Mother's and wonder if she would have some problems. You are also not allowed to blog about Non-Earning Working (homemaker) mother's and wonder if she would need financial assistance. You are of course allowed to blog and mock the concept of equality for earning women when they want maternity benefits. You are not allowed to blog about paternity benefits or the concept of father taking care of the child"

C."You are not allowed to talk about respect and women. People respect their moms. And some may respect just their moms and not other women, because, duh, these other women are not their moms. You are of course encouraged to point out that as long as one respects their own mother, their quota for respecting women is completed."

D."You are not allowed to point out that some abuses towards women would be termed as an insult if its used against our mothers. The point of abuse is to insult."

E."You are also not allowed to talk about perception of women, like stupid,irrational,cunning,deceiving, etc. And wonder if it would be ok, if someone attributed these to your mother. The point of perception, is to imagine, what we want to be the truth, is the truth."

F."You are encouraged to compare mother with motherland. But expressly forbidden to say civic sense and environmental concerns, if absent, is an abuse of motherland"

G.You are welcome to write about the pains of motherhood. But please do not vulgarise it by wondering on the magnitude of pain or by mentioning the size of a vagina and size of a baby. You are expressly forbidden to mention the lack of healthcare in our country. You are of course welcome to protest against some doctors who are unethical enough to advise a surgery instead of normal delivery.

H.You are enthusiastically encouraged to post a beautiful poem praising your mother or all mothers

I.You are enthusiastically encouraged to post a touching picture of a woman and child. If thats not possible, you are encouraged to post beautiful flowers.

J.You are enthusiastically encouraged to blog about any Page 3 star and their gift to their mother.“

Self : OK. But does it mention anywhere that I cant blog about these clauses

Muse (angrily) : No.

Self : Thanks Muse, and Aaah what else can I say, Happy Mothers Day to my Mom, my Mother in law, and 3 more women who think of me as their own daughter.

Happy Mothers Day to the bloggers who are Mothers

and a very Happy Mothers Day to the Mothers of all Bloggers.

2 comments:

  1. surprize!!

    and one more..

    surprize!!

    You didnt expect anyone to comment here except mothers of bloggers or bloggers who are mothers... Did you (^_*) ?

    Happy mothers day...if you are a mother..else pass it your all 5 moms.

    ReplyDelete
  2. nishu:d

    (hmmm i am a mother, but my kid is in heaven waiting for me, unless i goto hell. thanks and will pass it on to 5 moms. so what if he isnt around, not everyone gets 5 moms)

    ReplyDelete

Have a Great Day!