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Sep 25, 2006

Lonely? Get a Pet not a Spouse

A Drama Called Life -

Victim : The single human, who is earning and feeling lonely. And even though there aren't reasons to feel sad, thinks, perhaps life could be enriched further.

Conspirators : The entire society, who assure the Victim, every problem would be solved, by a single relationship called Marriage. The Victims are made to believe that the spouse would listen with wide adoring eyes, to every nonsense the Victim spouts and love the Victim, even when the Victim is being angry/stupid/arrogant, and ignore all the faults and say Love is Blind.

Ha ! If you are such a Victim, and belive the Conspirators, you can have better luck thinking your Boss would understand you, love you, cherish you, and accept you for who you are. And promote you, to be the Boss's Boss. And after all you don't have to deal with the complex mechanisms of your Boss and your family, you and your Boss's family and your family and your Boss's family. (If comprehending this is tough, then imagine living through it).

If being lonely is one of the main reasons for getting married, then think again. Marriage requires more.

Its easier to quit the job, but tougher to quit the relationship called marriage. If an IT person, had switched 15 jobs in 12 years, its ambition, but if its 3 spouses in 12 years, its being loose, and the tag "hmmm perhaps something is wrong".

You feel lonely and think another life would enhance and enrich your life, don't go for a spouse, get a pet.

1. The pet won't crib.

2. The pet won't expect much from you

3. The pet won't say out loud, you are a loser. Or give a sad sigh, when it meets its friends after couple of years.

4. The pet won't criticise your family. Your family won't criticise the pet much (if its your choice). The pet's family won't criticise you. And you don't have to worry about the nuclear war that could happen, when the pet's family meets your family.

5. The pet will expect food, not the best food , and won't complain about the food and say, I could cook better or my family could cook better or say your family has weird tastes when it comes to food.

6. The pet will not argue with you and will not pout when it loses an argument with you or gloat if it wins an argument with you.

7. The pet will not complain if you spend too much time on the net, and drag you to relationship counselling and crib you are escaping from it.

8. The pet will not cost much, and you won't have to spend most of the money you have saved till now, by treating a crowd you will never meet again, to a grand reception. And you don't have to worry if you look faboulous, and if your reception is the best one in your circle. And you don't have to worry about your pet interfering with your financial plan.

9. You need not buy another TV for your pet. And your pet won't criticise your tastes in movies, books etc.

10. The pet will not vent its frustrations on you.

11. The pet will not blog about your quirks and label them "nasty habits that drive me crazy"

12.The pet (unless its a bird) will not tweet about you or compare the number of followers with its followers and smugly say, "well I am a friendly type so have friends or see after marriage, I have lost my followers because of you".

If you think advantage of human company is sex. Well, no sex is better than having sex for the sake of sex, or having sex with someone you dislike. And sure, the pet might not share your workload at home, but for that get a housekeeper.

A Quick Pet Guide.
1. Dog : Loyal, and will adore you ,even if you are a serial killer. A great way to avoid people who pester you.
But check your building rules, and it might be tough to leave it alone, if you dont have anyone at home.
2.Cat : Not as wonderful as a dog. And its not going to adore you, as much as it adores itself, but it perhaps requires less care and maintainene.
3.Fish : Easier to leave them alone at home. But you might feel queasy after watching Finding Nemo. Ideal for those who dont want to spend too much time with another life.
4.Birds : Personally, I think better to let them fly. But its your life, not mine
5.Insects..Ants, Cockroaches, Lizards. Thats for the lazy ones. You dont have to hunt around for them. And they will take care of themselves. You can feel good for not using the pesticide, and your friends will secretly envy you. There may be people who arent afraid of tigers, but sweat and scream at the sight of a cockroach.. But do draw a line, with the rats.

The PET IS NOT A SUBSTITUE FOR MARRIAGE. But its better to get a pet, to solve the problem of feeling lonely, than to marry, just because you are feeling lonely.

IF you are just interested in getting and have not given much thought to giving and compromising, ignore the Conspirators and their suggestion of marriage.

Marriage is not a pill which will cure all your problems, but like a tonic, which can enhance your life. You will have to solve your problems. If you think marriage will solve it, you are just going to end up with more problems.

Alone and feeling Lonely? Dont Fret
Just go and get a Pet
The idea of marriage as a cure, please forget
After couple of months, you wont have much to regret

Also check Before Walking off into the Sunset ,
Posts on Relationships
Post no.325

Sep 18, 2006

Censor the Sad Movies

If there is anything more awkward than bunking college to watch a movie, only to find your Principal with your Parents, sitting next to you, its watching a movie with your best friend's wife, after his death. I walk along the corridor with Her, leaving just enough space for Him to join us, as we used to earlier. Panting, with popcorn elaborately arranged on His left hand, as His right hand would lunge for my left shoulder, chiding us for leaving Him. My shoulder feels the burden, of the lack of His hands. The seats bring more memories of Him, of Them. The entire gang sat between Them. The times, when I sat next to Him, when She would be watching the movie, when He would try to watch Her, and when I would move my head forwards and backwards, to block His view. I curse myself silently, why had I stolen those moments from them?

We arrive at our seats. I remember the popcorn and ask Her but She shakes Her head. She has already looked around. Wondering if someone would notice us. Perhaps I should have taken a rakhi to Her this raksha bandhan. That would perhaps make it easier for Her to be with me. But I am too stubborn. Being a Rakhi Brother would be responding to the gossip, and I want to deny and ignore their existence, and hope it would go away.

I sink further into my seat and try to watch the movie. And drift away. I am awakened by her at the interval. Well it isnt, its the end of the movie. I feel sheepish, as She smiles, until I adjust my eyes to the light, and realise She had been crying.

"Sorry, didnt realise it would be so sad" I apologise. But as we stand waiting for the crowd to move, She answers. "Its ok I enjoyed it."
Urgh, "Movies are for entertainment, the sad ones should be censored", I harshly reply.
She pauses, reflects and says "Perhaps we can appreciate the sadness in life, even if one feels sad, and accept that ultimately, it doesnt matter much, its just a trick of time and emotions. Its ok to feel sad, but its pointless to feel sad about being sad."
I want to say or rather scream "Bah" and couple of foul words, but mumble "Whatever" and move on, letting her walk ahead of me and making sure no one jostles her.

Its raining outside. And She has come prepared with an umbrella. And while an umbrella could accomodate the three of us, earlier, now, I pretend to enjoy the rain. A two wheeler goes past her, and splashes muddy water on her white sari. I am unable to resist "Its a message from Him. He doesnt want you to wear white. He hates white". And though it hurts me to hurt her, by bringing up what He would like, I console myself with the thought, She needs it to hear it, and He would want me to tell it.

She has to cross the road to walk towards the bus stop and She waits with me near the gate, for the traffic to slow down (it rarely halts). She has choosen the bus, probably because it would be awkward for her, to travel with me in an auto or taxi. I dont know what makes me crazier, his death, or the behaviour of his family towards her after his death, or her meek acceptance of everything.

She breaks my thoughts with "Perhaps its a message, that pain is a part of life, and even the skies have pain and they send this message through rain. And rain might be inconvenient, but necessary part of life". And waves a quick bye and leaves, before I could think of a repartee.

I stand still, drenched in the rain. Trying to understand the mumbo jumbo of accepting pain. The rains stop. A girl squeals about a rainbow. But I dont care for rainbows. Or for appreciating or accepting pain. Life to me isnt a movie. And if its like a movie or a serial, I hope they fire the scriptwriter soon, because its silly and the TRP cant be lower. As for the rain and the rainbow, I prefer the desert, I want to scream after her. But She has already left and a guy asks me, "The movie that bad?" Oh the rain had earlier conveniently hidden my tears, earlier. Inspite of myself, I smile, and say "I slept". And try to find the right metaphor for sleeping through a sad movie called life. And whats this nonsense about its ok to feel sad, but dont feel sad about being sad ?

Earlier in the Imagine Series Imagine - Him Her & Me
Other posts in the Imagine Series

Sep 16, 2006

Dead or Alive

What has happened to you when
1.You stop caring about the Indian cricket team (the male one, who cared much about the female one anyway)
2.You stop watching the news
3.You dont care much for the remote control or the mobile or the net
4.You dont care about what others think of you , (and dont contemplate suicide even if a blog post gets zero comments)
5.You dont become euphoric after a cup of coffee or cola or whatever
6.You havent bothered to pick up and finish the book you loved.
7.You dont bother about thinking for a few seconds more and making this list atleast till 10, even you know you can make it till 10.

You are Dead or more Alive?

Sep 12, 2006

A Minute Before Murder

Panic grips my heart. When you read that line in the books, you just yawn. But when you experience it in real life, you dont think, hey let me check if there is a better phrase, you go back to the cliched. Because, you are too busy feeling it, to be thinking about it (and better phrases for it).

Perhaps I am being too afraid. Perhaps I need not be scared. But its me, and I know what I am feeling. I can feel the fear. And I dont want to be afraid.

Something snaps. I want to kill it. So what if its a life. So what if its as important to The Supreme, as I am. Its not important to me. Perhaps this is what they mean, when they talk about porn objectifying women. When you dont think of them as life, but just as what they mean to you. When a Life, simply becomes It.

Hmmm I dont want to compare myself with a porn reader. After all, everyone objectifies. When a child thinks its parents aren't supposed to have feelings or will or wishes of their own, and that they exist merely to buy a TV, handover the remote, order the Best Junk Food, do their homework,and get them gifts whenever they go out, isnt the child objectifying its parents? And the child is the symbol of innocence. And after all haven't I already objectified The Supreme. The Supreme exists, for me. The Supreme created life. I dont worry if The Supreme has a life or whether, The Supreme ought to be given a break and The Supreme ought to have a life of his/her own. Objectifying a Life is being innocent and perhaps being religious.

Idiot ! Why think now? Why not just Act? Act before It attacks me. Oh perhaps I am being ridiculous. Surely It wont "attack" me. But then its very existence, gets on my nerves. And its existence itself is an attack on my harmony and happiness.

Logic and morals abandon me. I seem to be engulfed by a feeling of frustration and desperation. A scream comes from within, saying, I can't be happy like this. I cant be happy as long as It is around me. And I am not able to drive it away. And its my space, so I wont walk away. And if this situation must go, It must Go. Life would be so beautiful (for me), if it doesn't exist (in my space). And what is the point of my life, if I cant try to be happy?

A small voice whispers within me. Perhaps I need help, I am being paranoid, after all It hasnt really hurt me, and probably wont. I look around, hoping someone would reason with me. But there is no one except me and It. And now above the emotions, rises a calculative cloud. If I can get away with it, why not do it. Another calculation, what if I fail? Probably I wont.

Atleast let me make my point clear. Its not going to be a point of no return. Not in this case.

After all I am not like Bin Laden attacking USA, I am like Bush preventing a possible attack, by attacking.

There is no panic, only purpose in my mind. And is there a high now? A feeling of power? In being able to destroy, what took The Supreme, some time and thought to create. Aah so tough to create life, tougher perhaps to live it, and yet so easy to destroy it. And easier still to not feel guilt or remorse over it. Because I am always right. And anyway guilt would be pointless, because I cant undo it.

I look normal. And I feel that I am normal. Therefore, what I want to do, ought to be normal. Others can label me as cruel or unkind. But they arent in my shoes. Normal, is just a point of view. Normal doesnt mean moral. If everyone did, what I want to do, then the act would be normal.

I look around now, for a weapon. I grab one, and move softly behind It. I want to be calm, yet my heart is pounding. What if I make a mistake. Could It realise, what I had been thinking.

I take a swing, throwing back my hand up in the air, hoping to give the maximum force in the first blow, so that I don't have to fight It. And though I wanted to be silent, I scream..

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