Happy New Year to all Bloggers
"It was one Bhagiram Barman, a local shopkeeper, who not only helped her with his own shirt after she ran for about half-a-kilometre but also handed her over to the police. By then, Chameli had been trapped in several cameras and numerous cellphones — and then on national TV. " http://www.indianexpress.com/story/244641.html
Half a km, to get a shirt? Whats more important, capturing nudity or showing humanity. When the police dont bother to do their duty, when citizens prefer to click use their cellphone or simply stare, perhaps its too much to expect journalists to show humanity.
After all, their job is to report the incident not prevent the incident. But would we expect the journalists to be professional, if it had been our sister or daughter or their sister or daughter?
When we are not against a crime, aren't we part of the crime?
Can't there be reporting without the camera. True, images have an impact, but if there is a gangrape during a riot, would it be ok to have live coverage and meaningless remarks about it being a shame, (if it involves a political party we dont support.)
I dont need to see nudity, even if censored, to express my outrage. I need to know how the victim is coping and if the guilty have been punished.
Post Partum Depression is a serious illness, which doesnt get the attention it deserves. But Post Partum Oppression? Thats unheard...
Well its unheard because maternity is already a hazardous task. After all, when a woman dies every 1 minute due to childbirth in the world, and a woman dies every 5 minutes in India, it seems more hazardous than the streets of Iraq or Pakistan. And the mothers are not even the co-guardian of the child in India. An unpaid, thankless task, with few hours of sleep, the process of childbirth and the raising the child, if imposed on prisoners, would probably violate the rights, even under USA's interpretation of the Geneva Convention.
But thats of course not the real reason why no one has coined the word. Women figure they could become mothers and hence dont talk about it and while men would be excited to criticise women, they believe, there is a big difference between mothers and women.
But just because there are people out there suffering from tumours, it hasnt stopped some from cribbing about the headaches. So without wasting more time, hinting this blogger deserves an award for bravery for bringing it out in the open, lets talk about PPO - Post Partum Oppression.
FAQs
1. Does it affect most women.
Yes and in some cases even the men.
2. Is it an urban or rural phenomenon
Who would read a blog post about rural phenomenons and floods and droughts? Of course its an urban middle-upper class phenomenon and it could Affect YOU. (If you are not yet an parent but friendly with someone who is about to become a parent).
3. OK get to the point. What are the symptons.
i.Photo Bombardment : Due to digital cameras and photosharing websites, its cheaper and easier to click and share pictures. That means all the friends and relatives are bombarded every week with baby pictures, which look pretty similar, but one is expected to notice the difference and discuss in detail (since chatting too is cheaper) the difference. This phase exists till the baby is old enough to run away at the sight of the camera.
ii.Baby Talk : The mothers believe, its your moral duty to socialise with their baby. So, dont be suprised if they ring you, and put their baby on the phone, even if you cant understand what the baby is raving about.
iii.Genius : For those who believe they have finally outgrown the a and b phase, be prepared for the my baby is a genius phase. The mothers get amazed at the reciting powers of the baby (It can say a,b,c,d!) and believe their little darling is a child prodigy.
iv.Shining Super Star : Parallel to the Genius phase, my son would be a star in future. (Either a film star or a cricketer.)Tip for the victims of PPO. Dont ask, "Maybe the child would be a star kabbadi player", unless you want to severe relations permanently. If its a daughter, the belief would be around beauty pagents. (Thats a decent and respectable aspiration unlike the film business). Tip for the victims of PPO : Dont remark "If the beauty pagents are about brains not bodies, why do the promos always show the women in swimwear?"
v.The right to Break and Make Mess : Just when one believes, one has seen it all. The PPO enters the Right to Break phase. The parent believes, its child abuse, if you deny your credit card, remote control or anything you cherish, to the child. So be prepared to handover your laptop and dont forget to grin, while the child plays with it. And if the child breaks your mobile or laptop, remark the child would become an engineer in future. As for the making mess part, a disciplined child is just a figment of your imagination. They havent figured out a diaper for the hands and mouth. So pretend its a priveilege to clean up after the child has crumbled, biscuits and chips all over your floor, dropped a chocolate on the sofa and inserted sticky wrappers among your important papers.(Hey be thankful the child didn't tear it up and demanded it be made into a paper boat).
vi.Your Preferences? Whats that? : You will be expected to stock the brands the child prefers and watch the TV channels the precious darling prefers, if you happen to live nearby. Tip : Dont be dumb enough to say, the American Paediatrics Associations says the child shouldn't be allowed to watch TV till its two years old or junk food isn't great for kids.
vii.Sorry it doesn't get better : Does it get better when the child enters kindergarden? Unfortunately no. It just means you will have to listen patiently to nursery rhymes and endless comparisions with the class mates and help with the project work.
viii.Foodie : The child won't eat the right food. And be prepared to sigh and say its normal. Tip for the victims : Don't be dumb enough to suggest, hmmm the kids at the orphanage don't exhibit this behaviour.
ix. Fit or Fat : Parents hate it when their kid is called skinny (So you think they don't try to feed the child) and also hate it when their kid is called plump (Dont cast your evil eye on the food my child finally eats..). Therefore nod your head and go with whatever the mother says and say the child appears fine.
x. Grand parents are grand : If you think the grand parents would knock some sense into the parents, forget it. They would do anything to the spoil the kid, to get the kid on their "side". And forget the Dads. Worse than the Post Partum Oppressors or the "Diaper Dads" who imagine they are right out of the Raymonds ad, when they bore you with the number of diapers they change, everyday.
4.What can the victims of PPO do about it?
a. Break off the relationship.
b. Get a baby or adopt an baby and fight fire with fire.
c. Get a pet and mention its unsafe for kids to be around it. Tip : Start with a snake or a rat, not a doberman. (But be prepared to take responsibility if the pet harms the baby or vice versa).
d. Resolve you or your spouse wouldn't be a PPOer after you have a kid. Ha ha, just kidding
e. Pretend this is just normal, and this blogger is wasting your time and energy and making much ado about nothing.
5. So tell the truth, are you a PPOer or a victim of PPO?
Neither. I am in the 8th month and hope to fall in 4d category. But none of my friends or relatives have ever suffered from PPO. And if any of them is reading it, Please, Please do not make my kid a social outcast. I share your enthusiasm for your children and wouldnt dream of equating your enthusiasm for Post Partum Oppression.
Thankfully, I need just two shoes.
Do I need more than 2 shoes? I dont think so. Do I need two? Why not just one?
Er..Well there is something called vanity and something called comfort and since these two dont meet, I have two pairs. A Black Heel, and a comfortable uncool, skolls. So whats the big deal having Just Two? Well there are some advantages..
1. I dont spend much time wondering what I ought to wear. Lets assume I had 6 pairs, and I went out everyday and I spend 15 seconds everyday thinking, what I should wear. That would be 91.25 minutes every year, and if I live for around 30 more years..thats 2737.5 minutes i.e 45 hours i.e almost 2 days!.
2.And now to the time I could spend shopping for shoes. If its around 3 hours for one shoe and I buy perhaps 3 shoes a year, than in the next 30 years its approximately 270 hours and almost 11.25 days, phew !
3.And lets not forget the time I might spend,
i. Checking and wondering, if my shoes look good and
ii. If it looks better than that of the person next to me
iii.And since most of them wont be comfortable, massaging my foot at night,
iv.Searching for them
v. Finding storage space for them (Not everyone has space, ask any Mumbaikar)
vi.Wondering which one I should take, if I go on a trip
I would end up spending a lot of time, over it.
4. And I dont have to buy a dress or a handbag to go with a new gorgeous pair of shoes.
5.I can break into a run, almost any time. (Since I will be wearing my comfortable one most of the time). And one never knows when one has to run, a fire, a rescue, a thief snatching a purse, to catch a bus which never stops where it should..or to escape a dog, even though its dumb to run from a dog.
Some might find happiness in having a shoe in every color and style, but for me, more the shoes, more would be the worries from them. And rather than feel good, when I look in the mirror or when I get a compliment, I choose to feel free, from worries and feel good about freedom.
After all, I may not be able to increase the length of my life, but why should I spend couple of days of my life, just on shoes...
So next time, you are tempted to buy shoes you dont need, think how easier life would be, if you were in my shoes:)
His parents hugged him and praised him. He gave them a smug smile. He would get a treat for his marks, tonight.
His mother hesitantly mentioned, their neighbour had made a complaint against him. The neighbour claimed, he had bullied their daughter.
"They are liars", he shrugged.
His father became irritated with his mother. He scolded her, for spoiling their son's mood. They were probably jealous over their son's performance, he said.
His mother looked at them, doubtfully. After all, this was not the first complaint against him.
He smiled at his mother and hugged her. She sighed. He was Her son. Surely, he wouldn't do anything wrong. How could a smart, brilliant child, be mean. She apologised and hugged him again.
He smirked, now the treat would be bigger.
His teachers and parents were proud and cared about his performance. He felt, he was entitled to his sadistic pleasures.
Reading :
Bhopal: Ragging turns into nightmare
http://www.ndtv.com/convergence/ndtv/story.aspx?id=NEWEN20070028607&ch=10/8/2007%209:31:00%20AM
'They would make us strip and dance and then would beat us up
Killer kids
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Killer_kids_on_the_prowl/articleshow/2435524.cms
The number of violent cases among teenagers that are referred to us has grown by three times since 2001," says Dr Rajat Mitra, clinical psychiatrist and director, Swanchetan, an NGO which provides psychological counselling to children affected by violence, trauma and abuse.
Big impact flipped Pluto on its side
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Big_impact_flipped_Pluto_on_its_side/articleshow/2438074.cms
Melosh had said this mechanism might have also caused Earth's Moon — which boasts the biggest impact crater in the solar system — to roll over so that the crater moved from the equator to the South Pole.
Motivation affects honesty detection
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Motivation_affects_honesty_detection/articleshow/2437258.cms
the more motivated a person is, the more likely he or she is to make mistakes
Mother's milk is first right of newborn, says Govt
http://www.ibnlive.com/news/govt-to-extend-maternity-leave-to-6-months/50087-17.html
Only 23 percent of the infants born in India are introduced to breast milk in the first hour of their birth and only 46 per cent in the first six months
Explosive theft: Everyone admits problem, no work on solution
http://www.indianexpress.com/story/225874._.html
"There has been a recurrence of incidents in which explosives are getting diverted from the manufacturing factories for unauthorised usage within India and getting lost en route, indicating that there is a review of the entire procedure of issue of licenses and also monitoring of firms dealing with explosives."
I dont know the literal meaning of "Ched Chaad", a theme in this week's Nach Baliye 3, (The mid-day says its mischief between couples). But its disgusting to think, its just fun and mischief to hit ball against girl's back (Pooja-Hanif). And ,eve teasing and molestation are not topics of fun and dance (Karan-Kavita), even if the victim is Rakhie Sawant. Its not easy to report molestation. But to add insult to the injury, one is supposed to grin when someone makes fun about it? Would the compere or the audience ask their sister to laugh at it, if they had been the victim? And leave alone outrage, we dont get even a murmur against it from the judges. Thankfully, I have a remote and continued to surf.
When mobs dont care about killing, perhaps, its silly to wonder why, ragging, eve-teasing or molestation, doesnt seem outrageous to all. And perhaps its sillier to brood, over the attitude that its ok to molest men. Many months back the media reported with a touch of amusement on a fan kissing, Dhoni.
So there we have it the rules of Kissing :
Kissing is fun and fine, even if forced, on some women and most men.
But kissing is not fun, if its between consenting adults in public, and definitely not fun, if the man happens to be a foreigner.
A 14 year old girl in Malda, protests against her marriage to a 75 year old man, the authorities shrug off with the message, its a "social problem".
Even though rape is not an offense legally, within marriage, its going to be rape emotionally, for the child, and not just once. And anyway Child Marriage is an offense legally.
Its wrong for teachers to humiliate children, but its ok for a man to repeatedly rape a child, in the name of marriage?
Yet the authorities are able to shamelessly shrug it off with a "social problem" statement and and can be solved only by "social awakening".
Oh when will we wake up?
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/75-yr-old_hounds_child_bride_in_Malda_/articleshow/2417638.cms
The mother weeped, over her dead child.
But before we grieve we must perhaps know
How the child died..
Was the child kidnapped and murdered by friends?
Or a victim of drunken driving?
Or perhaps washed away by the flood waters?
Or did the child die of a disease, due to contaminated water?
Did the child die because the doctors were unavailable or on strike?
Or because the terrorists decided to strike?
Did the child due to its religion, caste or gender?
Or just one among the 7000 Indians who die EVERYDAY from hunger?
There might be financial compensation in some cases
There might be extensive media coverage in some cases
The child could be the topic of drawing room conversation in some cases
People would, think the child deserved to die and doesnt deserve an outrage in other cases.
Many ways for a child to die
But before we grieve we must know how it died
Unless it could happen to us, they perhaps deserve to die
Though the grieving mothers, wonders, why my child had to die..
PS :Shameful condition of children in Mumbai’s Aarey Milk Colony went ignored. A child died of hunger and more deaths will likely follow because of the desperate poverty in this semi-urban suburb but for some reason this does not bother us
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Worst_floods_in_living_memory_UN/articleshow/2257910.cms
http://wisedonkey.blogspot.com/2006/05/do-u-know-underweight-under-five.html
http://wisedonkey.blogspot.com/2005/09/do-u-know-maharashtra-child-hunger.html
http://wisedonkey.blogspot.com/2005/09/do-u-know-children-hunger-deaths.html
http://wisedonkey.blogspot.com/2005/03/do-u-know-india-neonatal-mortality.html
http://wisedonkey.blogspot.com/2005/02/do-u-know-delhi-female-foeticide.html
http://wisedonkey.blogspot.com/2005/02/do-u-know-child-commercial-sex-workers.html
http://newshopper.sulekha.com/news/2007/08/while-cong-bjp-fight-boy-dies-in-ambulance.htm
Enneagram Test Results
Your variant is social |
1.If a woman had tried to steal the Florida vote, inspite of not winning the Popular Vote..
Every woman on the planet would have been termed opportunisitic, cunning and manipulative. (Oh I know right now, thats what, most guys think of women (except their mother). But still, the small walls of political correctness would have crumbled heavily.)
2.The 9/11..
It would have been assumed, women are incapable of protecting and leading a family, leave alone a nation.
3.If she had not caught Osama..
It would have just meant, she didnt have the will power or the maturity.
And she probably spent too much time on make up and shopping, like women all over the world.
4.Iraq War..
Iraq war would have happened?? If a woman had been the President,wonder if the Americans would have called the french fries, "freedom fries" so quickly.
If it had been Hillary they would have called her Hallucinating Hillary, and asked her to get more proof or wondered if it had something to do with control issues at home. And perhaps Tony Blair would have become a bigger joke, for supporting a, woman.
And women would have been labelled, insecure and paranoid cratures, who stupidly want to express aggression by engaging in an expensive war with a powerless dictator.
A foolish guy means just a foolish guy.
A foolish girl means, no girl can be smarter than a guy.
When he "won", I cried and wondered why
Now I am thankful for Bush being a guy.
Update : I think these beliefs might have become popular beliefs. I may be a donkee, but I am not stupid enough to believe all men would believe it. I think many men and women would believe it. And for that matter I could have replaced this post with Obama with perhaps few word changes. Bias is not exclusive to one gender or race, or group. Thanks Ketan for pointing it out.
She didnt want him to waste time and told him to get to the point. The point of the Emergency meeting of the Highly Honourable members of the Executive Committee of the Residents Association, with the residents. "No Samosas" he grumbled. She glared and said I dont care.
"Regarding pets and PDAs" he summarised. She sighed in relief. Atleast it was not a rule about maids being paid less, to work in less homes. (For the curious, the rule remains unchanged, uncared and ignored).
Relieved and yet curious, she asked "What and Why".
He hesitated and then said "The president saw our neighbour hug and hmmm, express PDA, with his dog, yesterday and realised its against our culture and could be against the law too."
"You mean people shouldnt kiss and hug their pets in public?"He looked alarmed. And stared suspiciously at their child, who was watching TV. Since he didnt have the energy to argue with their child on leaving the room, he beckoned her to the bedroom.
"How could you say Kiss, in front our child" he asked annoyed. "Pleazzzzzzzzze the child, watches the news. Anyway, give me more details."
"Well yesterday our president came across an owner kissing his dog in public. And since thats not part our culture, the Executive Committee Members thought they will send out a strong message and protect our children from the cultural invasion. After all the children might see people kissing their pets and think why not kiss people too and their mind would become polluted."
"And are we allowed to watch movies? Do we have to lock our children away before watching TV" she asked..
"Thats our private decision as parents, but the Association has decided to be responsible and protect our cultural values".
She complained,
"Is it part of our culture to get continous media reports about kilos of henna used in a marriage, when 7000 Indians die Everyday from hunger?
Is it part of our culture to moan about endorsement deals of cricket stars while not caring, if an official gets Rs.3 crores as a bribe, for one deal?
Is it part of our culture to burn brides or kill the girl child before birth?
Is it part of culture to have the largest number of child labourers or have 5 lakh children enter the commercial sex trade Every year?
Is it part of our culture to have 47% of children below 5 years underweight or let 50% of the children without even primary education?
Is it part of our culture to eat biscuits & chips loaded with transfats and harm the God given body?
Is it part of our culture to dump this earth with plastic bags?
Is it part of our culture to zoom around in cars and then complain about extreme weather?
Is it part of our culture to complain about Valentine's Day and rush out to buy platinum on Akshaya Trithi?
Guess after no PDA, the only thing that is part of our culture, is making sure women dress up so that men's biological instinct is repressed. Biological urges! Humphf! Elephants, donkeys, birds, bees, and every other creature on this planet, seem unperturbed when their female counterparts are nude, whats so special about men.."
She paused to inhale.
"Why are you getting upset, when we dont have a pet.." He asked perplexed.
"Well I am just sick and tired of people defining culture for their own convenience. I am going to vote against this President in the next election."
He smiled and said, "Well many of us feel the same.."
She looked amazed and said "And I thought, part of the culture, was to never question or care!"
"Of course we care! They collect a ransom for maintainence and dont give us anything to eat. We are going to vote en masse against this group, unless.." he paused, thought and then added, "the President manages to get some TV coverage on us being a Culture Conscious Complex."
