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Dec 5, 2009

Nigerian Noble

An email I received.

"We are honored and privileged to present you with the Nigierian Noble. Each Category gets you 10000 USD.

My father, a Nigerian nobleman, left Nigeria few decades back and settled in USA. He became Uber Rich by investing (and getting out at the right time) in the Internet. Known as the the Nigerian Noble in the financial circles, he decided, his legacy should be a prize which would one day be as coveted as the Nobel.

He decided to award blogs, to empower the New Net Era. We have therefore introduced the Nigerian Noble in 4 categories. Since my father was a shy yet powerful man, he decided these categories, would be dedicated to the Vice Presidents of USA.

A blog has to have Purpose and Intelligence. While browsing through your posts, we were stunned by your answers to the question Do I Look Fat?. This question had stumped every Philosopher, Counsellor and Agony Aunt, till now. Congratulations! This post has won you the Dan Quale Quest Award.

A blog has to be Powerful, and create an impact. (Otherwise it would be merely words). Your post Not Psycho a Psychologist , has become a mantra and a rallying cry of almost every Mental Health Care Professional. If they are treated with respect, and dignity, its definitely due to your post. Hence please also accept the Al Gore Power Award

Intelligence and Power are meaningless in Humans without Compassion. Bollywood has conquered not just the Oscars. The Nigerian Noble Jury too were moved by your post Divine Justice Bollywood style - Kompassion ya Kruelty. We hope you will be kind enough to accept Dick Cheney Compassion Award.

Intelligence, Power, Compassion, are wasted in the blogworld if the post does not have brevity. After all, almost every reader is a blogger, who reads and comments, in the hope you would return the favor. And to maximise the results in minimum time, bloggers seek a post that is brief, concise and to the point. Your post Thankfully I am not a Celebrity achieved the impossible. Please honor us by accepting the Joe Biden Brevity Award.

Super Blogger
In the history of Nigerian Noble, this is the first time, a blogger has won all the 4 awards. We have now instituted a new Category, Super Blogger Award. Please also accept 5000 USD with this award.

As a tribute to the New Net Era, you can accept this award over the internet and display it on the blog, if you agree to accept it.

In the past, winners had blown away the prize money within a year, given up blogging, and taken to booze. And the Prudent US Corporates had blown it away, faster. Therefore your award money USD 45000 has been used to purchase an Annuity from a Careful Chinese Corporate and you will get your annuity from your next birthday, throughout your lifetime.

Unfortunately the New Net Era enables pirated Awards which takes away your Exclusivity. To cover the legal costs of going after these, Pirates of the Blogworld, we require an advance of 1000USD from you. If you are interested, and willing to Accept the Awards, reply with the subjectline Thankyou Thank you Thank you, to us with your date of birth (to receive your Annuity).

With Regards and Respects
The Simple Son of a Nigerian Noble."

Of course I sent the 1000 USD. Why would I deny my blog, what it deserves. I got an .exe file, the 5 awards and an offer to accept or nominate another blog for "Clinton Conscience Award" "Bush Bravery Award" and "Obama Well Deserved Award". with prize money of USD 25000 for each. (Legal fees 100 USD, each), in honor of his Mother, the Primary Power. If you are interested let me know. I am not the greedy kind, 5 awards are enough for me.

If you are interested let me know. I am not the greedy kind, 5 awards are enough for me.

The Educational Blogger Award Quale Quest Award to Wise Donkey

A dead cockroach Gore Power Award to Wise Donkey

A karate kick to the groin Cheney Compassion Award to Wise Donkey

A dead horse (so it can be mercilessly beaten) Biden Brevity Award to Wise Donkey

A pair of clean underpants Nigerian Noble to Wise Donkey The SuperBlogger


  1. LOL @ Thankyou Thank you Thank you!

    Incidentally, I had read all of your linked posts except the psychologist one. ;)

    Congratulations on winning those awards!

  2. ketan thank you, thank you, thank you..:)it feels great to win:)

  3. Congrats :-D. The dead cockroach award is my favourite, guess I have to find the dollars from somewhere ;-).

  4. deeps you dont have to !i sent you one immediately , hope u received it. I think you would know whenever i see a cockroach, i think of you..and whenever i think of power, again i think of you..when i saw the award, i wanted to send it to you..but was not sure if you would appreciate it..

    i should have remembered leos have a great sense of humour:D


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