Beaming Bollywood Producer (BBP) "Our astrologer has suggested a Patriotic movie to launch my son".
Superhit Scriptwriter (SS) "Excellent! An Angry Hero is upset with the corrupt government.."
BBP "No No they might mistake him for a Naxalite, nothing anti-government."
SS "Hero is a soldier.."
Son of Rich Producer (SORP) "No that would make the movie boring and drab"
SS "A non-violent journalist,"
BBP "Again boring character. Make it a romantic patriotic movie"
SS "Hero falls in love with a girl from another country.."
BBP "No Way! Look what happened to Sania!"
SS "Hero is a pop star, who has made it big through a reality contest."
BBP "Excellent, we can show off His dancing skills"
SS "We open with Hero on stage, head down, hearing in his mind, the comments of the Reality Show Judge (some old star who wants to make a comeback) berating him for being a poor orphan with just hopes, going up against his classy prodigy. Someone shouts Action and the spotlight turns on him. He faces the camera and comes up with a mix of rap and soul number, with Vande Mataram, Mera Bharat Mahan and ends with Jai Hind". The audience and the other judges give him a standing ovation. While the Reality Judge reluctantly applauds him. Later this Judge tellsHero, its not easy to get voted as the winner since, smses costs money. Few days later, he becomes the winner closely beating his rich competitor.
SS "While flying abroad for a tour, terrorists take over his aeroplane. Since he is popular they want to hold him hostage to get their colleagues released. (They explain Indians might not care much for a minister's life, but will care for him since he has got the maximum votes amongst all reality stars and reality shows reflect the real India) The heroine is a flight attendant who initially pretends to hate him, but is actually his biggest fan, who is extremely rich and got a job as an airhostess, simply to meet him. Hero fights back with small help from heroine. We can have a parachute, sky diving chase scene, rescues everyone and hands the terrorists to the police.
He sings a duet with the heroine and goes to New Zealand for his concert." We can have a fast catchy number for the concert.
To avenge their colleagues arrest, terrorists plant a bomb during his concert and blast occurs at the end of the concert. The Hero looks at the death and destruction all around him and becomes distraught. And we go for the intermission."
Gets approving nods from BBP and SORP.
SS continues "The only survivor is a small girl holding a teddy bear who has seen the terrorist who planted the bombs. She has lost her family, and the Hero decides to take care of her and sings a bubbly kids song to cheer her up since, next day is her birthday. "
"Great that will make it a wholesome family entertainer" booms BBP.
SS continues, "The heroine is actually a painter. So she paints the picture of the terrorist, after getting the description from the girl."
BBP "Excellent! Since the heroine has a role of substance, we can get any star we need."
SS, "Hero realises he has seen this person at a hotel and goes to the hotel, just when this guy is checking out. Here we can have a Hot Car Chase. Hero catches the guy and thrashes him and makes inquiries. The guy says his Boss is hiding in the jungles of Brazil and is planning to attack India with missiles, after getting his colleagues released. If missile concept is outdated, we can have a virus with no cure."
"Hero hands over this guy to the authorities in New Zealand. But when they say their hands are tied, they can't extradiate the terrorists, he decides to take matter in his own hands and goes to Brazil, with his girlfriend and the sweet kid with the teddybear. He explains to them, he has a facebook friend in Brazil who has herself been a victim of terror and thirsting for revenge. He arrives in a nightclub and we can have an item number by a Brazilian Babe. She agrees to help him and points out a local thug who might know the location of the terrorist. After a beach brawl with knives, the Hero finds out the exact location. And makes a plan with the Brazilian Babe. The heroine gets jealous and we can have a melody number at this point, as he tries to convince her, he loves only her.
With Brazilian Babe's help he goes into the jungle. Fights crocodiles and giant snakes. Then after a high speed boat chase with water skis etc in the Amazon river, catches all the terrorists and packs them for justice in India. The heartbroken Brazilian Babe requests him to let at least the Saccharin kid stay with her. The kid too wants to stay with the aunty, so he relents with tears and promises to visit them frequently."
Back home he gets a hero's welcome. A TV journalist explains, "One of the terrorist captured, is the 2nd Deadliest Terrorist according to USA and now USA is begging India to have access to this terrorist." A huge cheer goes up when he lands and journalists scramble for sound bytes. A female with blond hair from CNN asks in accented Hindi "You are a celebrity. Why did you take so much risks?."
He says "When I think of my motherland, Its Duty first, even if I am a Celebrity!".
And everyone claps. Even the Reality Judge who is watching the interview at home. He stands and salutes the TV screen, and we finish with our Hero, with pumped fist in the air, shouting "Jaaaaaai Hind" We can name it The Patriot (A celebrity with Duty)".
SS pauses. BBP is thrilled and hugs SS with tears in his eyes, while SORP is on the phone with someone.
BBP explains "The story sounds good, but my son is not old fashioned like me. He is running it through his Tarot Card Consultant, before okaying the Project".
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