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Oct 20, 2009

Do I Look Fat?

Answers are generally never simple. But there are some simple answers. Like the answer to "Do I look Fat?".

The answer : "No" or better "Of course NOT!"

Unless the "asker" is visually challenged, the asker knows the answer is Yes. The asker asks your help, only to float in denial land, and you are not expected to make them crash land to reality, with Your Yes, unless you wanted to be hated, forever.

If you find this tough to accept or understand; well, we don't tell, first kill the chicken, when asked for a chicken recipe, or Boss I want to wring your neck for waiting till evening to give me this job or I want to marry you to be my unpaid maid. Its not about thoughts, its about How You make them Feel. And thats why I am NOT saying "You are a Sick Sadist, who confuses being truthful with being factually correct. Don't you have any mercy within you??"

We are humans! Our best invention is Lying..If you are still uncomfortable with a No and tempted by Yes, Wait, there are other options :

1.The fabric has shrunk? or The tailor has messed it up again? or Salesperson gave you wrong size..or the Labels say XL but the dress looks Medium. (Always blame someone - The Cricket Analyst style)

2. Wear Well Fitted, Vertical Designs with a V neck and smaller prints. And please throw away those high waisted pants with tapering legs. You would look a lot thinner. (Fashionesta style)

3. Hmmm Of course Not! Look in the mirror! (It looks cloudy but it won't rain - Meteorologist style)

4. What matters is not how you Look, but how you Feel! How do you Feel? Surely Great! (TV Guru style)

5. Oh I dropped my lenses again! or Something wrong with my ears..What did you say? (Bollywood Slapstick comedy style)

6. Did you know what Sharukh did...? (Distraction is Best - Breaking News style)

7. Lets discuss it later..(The Judicial style)

8. You look Sexy! (Sex sells colas and cars and cement - The Ad industry style)

9. Lets ask @!$% and %$^% also (Lets appoint a Committee's equivalent in the Political style)

10. Do You think I look Fat? (Let me get even with you for making me feel guilty about lying - Spousal style)

11.You make me feel like a Beauty Pageant Judge! (The Successful Employee style)

12.I asked the same question 3 months back but now I don't ask. You know why? I joined $##@$, ate $#@$^#. And now you can Earn Money, Eat whatever you Want and Never Worry about being Fat..(The "friendly MLMer" style)

13. Why? (Questioning the Obvious, Philosopher style)

14. I was just being sarcastic when I tweeted you look fat. (Shashi Tharoor style)

15. No dear, have a Cookie. (Nobel Committee style)

PS : Please refrain from being Factually Correct. Since Saying "You look Fat" can be hazardous to Your Health..(And if someone murdered you for being "truthful", who would read my blogs?).


  1. Wise Donkey,

    I can't tell you how much I laughed reading this post! Really, the best were:

    12. But, I couldn't get what is MLM. :(

    13. Philosopher style

    14. Shashi-style; special LOL@ tweet!

    15. Nobel committee style!

    And to be 'truth'ful, you missed point no. 2. But please don't murder me. I know my best appeal now--I read your blog!

    What I do in similar situations is answer according to how prepared the other person is of truth. I also ask a similar question when I meet my friends after a long time if I'd have lost weight in the interim. And if they say I'd gained weight instead of losing it, I'd feel mildly disappointed only if I'd myself had thought that I had lost weight. But if I myself know I've gained weight, I won't be disappointed and would rather appreciate their honesty. :)

    Great, great post! Your classification of people was really good! TC.

  2. mlm is multi level marketing..u know the amway goldcrest and mushroom capsules and other stuf like that..

    the point 2 was lost when i combined the fabric with tailor part.. added a new one..some lame ones are being plump is healthy granny style and thats what u will think for next 6 months due to mercury and venus positions. wear a turquoise ring and eat from a small silver bowl and stop eating after sunset..well meaning astro junkie style..

    i liked the spouse style..the nobel just came out of thats another favourite:D

  3. hehe.. I will try future ..
    i liked this "Hmmm Of course Not! Look in the mirror!" :P

  4. unknown let me know if it works:)

  5. I will surely..if I survive after that :P

  6. Reading this second time...
    This time I liked the
    Why? by philosopher..
    I think with time people I am :)


Have a Great Day!