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May 30, 2010

Ash Tweets aur Bollywood

Thanks Blogadda!

SORP, (Son of Rich Producer) wants a different contemporary script for his debut. He has 3 choices.

1.Romantic - Assh aur Ishq
Poor boy works as a pizza delivery boy. Meets rich girl when he delivers her a pizza while she is dancing in her swimming pool. (Bikini Babes song.)
Gives bashan on Culture and they fall in love after couple of more squabbles. The contemporary touch. They follow each other on twitter and he learns she loves him through her tweets. (Dream Duet in Switzerland, France and New Zealand)
Determined to impress his inlaws comes up with new pizza flavour. Company sends him to Italian HO.(Sentimental missing you song).
Meets goras who are impressed with his work. The next day he will meet the CEO. Rich girl calls. Papa plans to get her married to his partner's son. Decides to skip his meeting with CEO and arrives at airport.
Flights cancelled due to volacanic ash from Iceland.
Popcorn-Paracetamol break.

Visits discotheque to drown in sorrow. Fast number by a blondie. Later rescues blondie from goons. She falls in love with him. Rich Papa calls. Rich girl has been abducted to Greece by his partner because she tried to escape from wedding. Inspite of all his wealth, he can't do anything about it because all flights are cancelled and his partner has his jet. Can SORP get his girl back with honour?

Blondie gets him a yacht by seducing a rich customer of hers. He sails to Greece. Swims to a beach house. Instead of dobermans, this house is guarded by sharks. He fights sharks and couple of octopuses too and then the goons. The next day, His mother arrives with the Rich Family for a wedding in Greece. Evil Partner appears again and tries to stop the wedding. His mother confronts him. The Evil Partner is actually his Father who abandoned them to marry a rich girl.

After few sentimental dialogues, Father unites with Mother, SORP marries Rich Girl.

The CEO arrives in Greece to bless the couple and offers him a position in Italy. He prefers to be the Incharge of Indian Operations.

2. Thriller - K-Ash.
Prime Minister requests SORP a secret agent to find a diamond on which an eccentric scientist has engraved a missile technology blueprint before being killed. The diamond has been stolen by a jewel thief who mocks the police by Tweeting from a new location everyday. SORP visits a discotheque for inspiration. (Skimpy girls song). SORP cracks the code and decides to go to London.
Squabbles with Miniskirt Heroine on plane and misses their connecting flight in Switzerland. And they fight more and fall in love. Duet song shot in Switzerland, Austria and Italy.
Confides his secret to her. Next day he realises his cover has been blown because she is a tv reporter & has done a story on the diamond & tweet thief. He delivers a lengthy dialogue on love and betrayal to her. She cries and repents and puts on her specs (Looking intellectual and serious style). The thief stops tweeTing.
Popcorn-Paracetamol break.

Hounded by press he goes to London, gives lengthy dialogue on irresponsible journalism to BBC. The interview ends with emphatatic BBC reporter asking in an
accent. "Ab tweet thief ko pakadenge kaise?" Later that night, he gets into a helicopter, flies to Iceland, parachutes down to a volcano and drops a grenade into the volcano. It erupts. He runs and escapes in a jeep and then sails to Belgium. The tweet thief is stranded in airport the next day. Mini Skirt Heroine, removes her specs and pretends to be a rich heiress and tweets @ tweet thief to buy the diamond. Tweethief asks her to meet him in Belgium. She drives from Switzerland to Belgium. But before she can get the diamond, another guy kills tweet thief, steals diamond. She clicks his pic &
mmses it to SORP. SORP grimances. The guy in MMS is an Old enemy, an Alqaeda operative. But even the Al Qaeda guy can't escape by air so escapes by car. SORP arrives in Belgium and with Ms Miniskirt chase the guy all over Europe. After a car chase, ski chase and a helicopter chase, catches the Al Qaeda agent, gets the diamond and drags the guy back to India for justice, even though he wants to kill him for killing SORP's parents.

She quits her career and becomes his wife and attend a private dinner in White House. They are appreciated and awarded by US President. If Al Qaeda had got the code, USA could have been wiped off. Offers him a position in CIA. But he refuses and comes back to work for India.

3. Family Entertainer - Ash mein Dash
3 Brothers. Anil Kapoor, Akshay Kumar and SORP live with their mother in a dairy farm in Switzerland.
Meets 3 girls through Twitter. 4 songs, 2 clashes, 4 slapstick comedies and 5 fights later, their mother is bitten by a rare snake.
Popcorn-Paracetamol break.
Only a herb from Iceland applied with 10 hours can save her. Akshay Kumar and SORP go to Iceland and get the herb but the volcanno erupts and flights are cancelled. They glide in the Ash from Iceland to Switzerland and save their mother at the last minute. And defeats the plan of their evil uncle who had tried to kill their mother to get their dairy farm. Uncle repents and begs for forgiveness and gives his daughter to SORP.

So which script did SORP choose. You will know this Diwali..


  1. he should choose the 2nd one :D will b able to do some business atleast !!!

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  3. Such crazy scripts :). Whichever is chosen, seems moronic.

  4. Wow looking forward to the release why choose one have a series any chance for tickets advance booking or ivite to premier cum on i need to book holidays and flight tickets please

  5. vicious hmmm:D:D

    indi, thanks:) i checked it:) but one gets tired participating in too many sites:)

    rachna yeah:)

    bikramjit, instead of series perhaps it will be all in one, as per the shooting goes..while its still in promises on the premier dates:D

  6. Lol!!! Oh my god!! One hell of a laugh riot!! Err..yes laugh riot. One script beats the other. They should all be released at the same time :-)

    When are they releasing? :-)

  7. Now you have given all our script writers a run for their money.
    I liked "Popcorn-Paracetamol break." Hilarious.

  8. Whichever script comes to screen both the media and box office is going to hype it unnecessarily and will retire to the box, with a loads of commercial breaks...! :D

    Nice work...!

  9. Insignia What a brilliant idea!!!

    wordsmithy that was my favourite line too:)

    kavitha YES!

  10. Hi there!!WD..remember me?? It's been a while since Ive gone blog hopping.
    Thought a tag's a gr8 way of getting back in tch with you'r IT!

  11. sangeeta the teacher:)
    of course i remember you. Glad to have you back:)


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