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Oct 10, 2006

Aargh Diaries - If my neighbour's housekeeper started blogging

Its the right of every Blogger to write Boring Blogs. But my day would be more interesting, if my neighbour's housekeeper started blogging.

1. I would finally have proof of the nasty things, they talk about me, behind my back. And perhaps I could sue them and win something, even if it takes five decades to win it.

2. I could ask them, "Why do you want your housekeeper to be on time, when you dont go to work on time."

3. Next time I visit their house and they are showing off something they got from abroad, I can murmur, "but still you get your stationary from the office."

4. I can ask them casually, "You didnt mention your fourth bank account in your tax returns?"

5. When they crib about politicians, I can say, "But you didnt vote last time."

6. When he cribs about the Ekta serials, I can say "But didnt you cry last week when the hero seemed to have died and whoop with joy, when,yesterday, you found out, he had only lost his memory?"

7. And when they talk about a bad movie I can retort "Well how can we expect good movies, when we watch them on pirated cds?".

8. When he talks about human rights, I can ask, "But why do you insist your left handed child should use the right hand?"

9. When he talks about values, I can ask, "You mean, saying its ok to cheat in exam, to get a good rank?"

10. When we are stuck in the elevator, I can ask, "So you gave the sweets, you got 10 days back, to your housekeeper, yesterday, just when a fungal layer formed on it".

11.Or I could ask, "So you tried to kill a cockroach with a spray. And when you found, you had ran out of spray, you ran out of the room and locked yourself in the kitchen.“

12. I could also say "So last week, when the building maintainence said we wont get water for 2 hours, you filled 20 big buckets with water, and simply threw them away, the next day?."

13. I could ask him, "Hmmm, you didnt come down to the blood donation camp, because you were scared of the needle, and not because you gave blood last week."

14. I could also ask him "The rains were heavy for you to sit at home and watch TV, but not heavy enough for her to get a day off?"

15. And when I have to do the dirty dishes and wash my clothes, instead of feeling sorry for myself, I can be thankful that I dont have a housekeeper who could wash my dirty linen in the blogosphere.

And if my neighbour decides to fire the housekeeper, I can finally be on TV, and say "Not only was the housekeeper terrific, the blog was interesting. And its a shame, that this act against freedom of expression, happened in our nation. And when the entire nation is celebrating Gandhigiri, a housekeeper should be fired for telling the truth".

Aargh Diaries is a Fictional Series.
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