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Jul 25, 2006

A Sunrise during the Sunset

The waves came towards the shore, with a loud roar. Tall, as if they wanted to touch the dark sky and soar. It was few minutes before the sunset. Yet it seemed like hours after the sunset, as dark clouds had covered the sky, from horizon to horizon, like a thick blanket. A lightning, lit and split the sky, and a thunder sounded like a giant's, war cry. And for once, those in the metrological department were right. The storm had arrived on the beach, that night.

The silhouette, wet, upset, filled with regret, unable to forgive or forget, walked towards the place where they had first met. She hadnt realised the storm, yet.

The storm around her, wasnt bigger than the storm within her. The darkness around her, that made her blind, wasnt as dark as the despair that enveloped her mind. The depression at the sea, wasnt bigger than the depression in her mind. She couldnt see the sea. But the roar of the waves, guided her towards the sea.

She walked carefully and slowly, towards the sea. Careful, since she didnt want to trip over some debris, tossed back by the sea. She didnt want a sprained ankle, or a scrapped knee. Death in the sea, was her mind's only plea.

Death, right now, was just a technicality. Hadnt her spirit and soul abandoned her, few hours ago, when he had decided against marrying her? Oh, the pain of dashed hopes, the pain of rejection. When fate punches you below the belt. Perhaps that pain, the waves too felt. When they hit the rocks with hope and roar, just to be smashed into million droplets on the shore, and sent back to the sea by the rocks and the shore. Oh the pain of rejection, even if its by a stone or someone with heart of stone. The mind screams, I cant take it anymore.

She glanced back. Hope. The eternal enemy of death. Hopefully he would realise, she couldnt live without him, and she would decide to die, and die, in the same spot they had first met, where later, they had jumped and walked amongst the waves. Not caring for being wet, smiling and laughing, as their eyes met, ignoring the beauty of even the sunset. She froze, hoping against hope, straining her ears, against the roar of the waves and the storm, hoping to hear his footsteps, as they ran across the beach in the hope of saving her, hoping to hear his voice crying aloud her name, crying out that he too, couldnt imagine a life without her.
Hoping, to hear him hope - he wasnt too late,
Hoping, to hear him hope - she would forgive him,
Hoping, to hear him hope - she would forget the hurtful words,
Hoping, to hear him hope - they would spend the rest of their lives happy and together.

Minutes passed. He didnt come.

And as she stood wet and realising the worst, she felt within her, a burning thirst. A thirst for revenge. The fire of anger, raged within her.
Now she hoped he would come, but not in time to save her. Just when, the sea threw her body back at the beach. He would surge through the curious crowds, and fall beside her. Crying and Clutching, Hoping and Praying, for her return. She hoped he would regret and would live a long life, filled with guilt and pain. Yet not enough to die or become insane.

Its easy to die, but tougher to live, a thought popped into her mind. This didnt combine well, with the decision of suicide in her mind.

She told her feet to walk on,
even though a small voice in her mind said, hey hold on.
Suddenly lightning split the sky in two,
and she found herself, waking up to what she was upto.
The thunder seemed to shout sense in her ears ,
and ask why she wanted to surrender the gift of years.
Tears of self pity, flowed down her eyes,
but the rain continued to wipe the tears from her eyes.

She sat down on the edge of the shore. Hesitant to live, yet hesitant to die.

What would she gain,
by dying and hoping it would cause pain?
A voice within, whispered to her,
Admist the pouring rain.

Why should She die?
If his love had been a lie.
Tears continued their trail, from her eyes,
As she pleaded with God and asked Why.
Why couldnt he love her or care for her?
But then, she too didnt care about, what happened to her.
Why expect him to love her, everyday of his life?
When she couldnt love or cherish, her own life?

Confused she buried her head in her knees and cried.
Could she really move on and take even this pain, in her stride?

Succumbing to the storm, a huge wave jumped over her,
And dragged her in, and her life, became a blur,
Yet instead of a meek surrender,
Her mind screamed, life, it would prefer.

She struggled and swam to the shore,
She was filled with love for her life and more,
As Lightning streaked across the sky,
It reflected the determined gleam in her eye,
She wanted to live, after all someday she was sure to die,
But this wasnt the way, she wanted to say her goodbye.

Through pain somehow she would survive,
To live happily she would strive,
Perhaps one day even another love might arrive,
With a lust for life, she felt very alive.

Behind the storm clouds, it was finally time, for the sunset.
But in her life, with the light of hope & determination, it was a bright sunrise.


Have a Great Day!