The Gun vs The Videotape

You can die now or you can watch this movie alone and then die, says the voice.
The wiser option would be to watch the movie and prolong your death and hope that in those hours, some superhero or supercop would break through the door/window/walls and rescue you (Filmi) or, you might find a way to escape (Realistic).

But then there are movies which drive you to the edge of insanity. Which makes you think, death is better. For me it would be :

HINDI

Haan mein ne bhi pyaar kiya hai. Tell me in Karishma's voice "Switzerland honeymoon har Hindustani ka khaab hai" at your own risk. And yeah all movie actors are like the one potrayed by Akshay Kumar sweeeeet, innocent, and sexy..

Aitraaz : Oh baby, if I could simply bang my head against the wall, and forget it..Another interpretation of Christianity is offensive and invites protests! But Gross Misinterpretation of Indian Laws, by a movie is OK? Dont we have any respect for our country?

CENSOR Dev Anand : Ok I could tolerate Awwal Number with Aamir and some Meehakshi Jackie movie by Dev Anand. But Censor Takes The Cake and throws it Flat on my Face. I can understand Dev Anand wants to play the journalist,lawyer,policeman all in one movie, but please please dont make me watch it.

Jansheen Yeah I just need to watch Feroz Khan wearing kajal, with a tiger or whatever.

Aap Mujhe Achche Lagne Lage Hrithik, Amisha : I escaped the first time by seeing only half the movie

Ek Rishta : Oh boy, no rishta between logic and story

Chor Maachaye Shor Bobby Deol : Why didnt I simply stick with the original in English

Khalnayak Sunjay Dutt Madhuri Jackie :

Kitne Door Kitne Paas Fardeen Khan, Amrita Arora, Sonali Kulkarni : Wow a fire in the mandap, is so convenient in the climax

Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani : Shahrukh Juhi, OK I am not a big fan of mainstream media, but they certainly dont ask a person before they are about to be hanged, his favourite shampoo. Satire doesnt mean being Ridiculous. And yeah the entire nation walks and stops the hanging..

Pyar Ishq aur Mohabbat Sunil Shetty, Aftab Shivdasani, Keerti Reddy : When not one, and not even two is enough..

Hatimtai Jeetendra : Sick of brats who watch Pogo? Torture them with this movie.

Love Love Love Aamir Juhi : Sigh. And I was so eager to see that movie

Phool aur Kante Ajay Devgan's first movie. OK.Gopal is not a bad name, but it seemed so funny when Ajay and madhu's baby's name was Gopal..Tumse milne ko dil kar ta hai Re Baba seemed more fit for begging.

Khoon Bari Maang Rekha, Kabir Bedi : Ha Ha Ha when models fight to decide who is better, they go into a song and dance “wafaaaaaaaaa kya hai“.

Dil ka kya kasoor Divya Bharti : The whole movie is about her helping the hero become a singer and the hero being ignorant about it. And when the hero finally becomes aware about it, its a marvellous example of wooden acting. One of the few movies with no fights. But if I come across the producer, I might pick up a fight asking Mera kya kasoor

Any remake of a Tamil movie with Anil Kapoor in it. Sorry he isnt a Kamal Hassan and not even an Arjun.

TAMIL

Priyasakhi Madhavan Sada & Priyamaana Tozhi Madhavan Jyothika, : A simple rule for all Madhavan fans, avoid most of Madhavan's movies if you want to remain his fan. .

Uyirodu Uyiraaga Ajit Richa : Ajit is terminally ill. Richa fools him by saying she is too, and he falls in love. And they marry. Ajit doesnt want a baby, but never realises till the Baby is about to be born that Richa is pregnant and just when the baby is due, he realises the truth. Richa walks into some forest, and Ajit helps her deliver the baby ! Citizen, Ajit : Aiyo tortue. What a beautiful climax, strip the villains of their citizenship blah blah.. Jana Ajit Sneha : Ha Ha Ha, you roam the streets as a dada and your family will have no clue Paramasivan : Ajit Laila Yeah its so easy to capture the terrorists in the end. They will wear helmets and go around in bikes. And India's entire foreign investment will disappear because of a bomb. Give me a Break! (Beware of the friend who is an Ajit fan who will assure you, Ajit's hard work is worth the money you spend on the movie and on headache pills)

Chocolate Prashant Mumtaaz and a heroine no one remembers: (Beware of a spouse who sleeps during the movie, and wants to see it again and then asks you to explain the movie)

Udaya, Vijay Simran : Yeah its so easy to manufacture a bomb in a small lab, and so easy to get conned and become a terrorist

Time Prabhudeva Simran : A big waste of Time.

Pachai Kudirai Partiban : Please dont make me write the story

Manasellam Shrikant Trisha : The story is about the hero spending the last few days with the heroine. And then he just walks away in the end..Wish I walked away earlier.

Kamarasu (?) Murali : Everyone dies, and ok I like realistic movies, but the heroine also dying from a lightning ,please..

Paarai Sarathkumar : K.S.Ravikumar made this movie!?!

Devan Vijaykant Karthik Arun Pandian Meena Kausalya : Yeah all the rice in India, is controlled by one guy

Vikatan : (Yeah Harish Raghavendra is fab singer, and an average actor, but AVOID Arun Pandian). A murder mystery, with a Thread solution. If your enemy is a thriller fan, give the cassette.

Duet Prabhu Meenakshi Seshadari : What a horrible climax with barrels etc. Did Balachander make this movie? (Beware of seeing a movie because the director was good and the songs are fab)

Parthale Paravasam Madhavan Simran : Parkamal irundhal Inum Paravasam. What a waste of talent through a stupid climax..

Any more suggestions? Any language..

Blog Post no.313.