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Nov 24, 2005

Dumped and Down in Dumps

Never mind the reason or (the excuse), you think you have been Dumped!And now you feel you are Down in the Dumps.

Well here is a checklist for you, to help you bounce back.

1.Moody Music
Music might be good, but watch out for the lyrics too. Dump "How am I supposed to live without you" and go for "I will Survive". Same goes for movies books and arts.

Need not burn the photographs and letters and some memorabilia from your first date together. But dont spend your time with them either. Gazing at them and sobbing with them for 32nd time isnt going to bring back the person into your life. Lock them and put them away.

3.Perhaps things would work out
Well great if you could get back. But do think twice. If the message is a clear Baby I am dumping you, think twice before rushing back and saying Oh I want you so badly and will do anything for you. You might do Anything for Love, but just dont do that. Dignity is important.

4."Exposing" Ex
Hmmm yeah yeah all the negative points start to roll. And you want to tell the world what a rotten person, your ex was. But don't go overboard. Everyone has plus and minus points. It could always get around to your ex and why make things nastier. Be diplomatic and dont brood over it while talking about it to others.

5.Race you to find the next love
Be open for new relationships, but dont be desperate. And please be mature, dont get into one relationship, just to show off to your ex. The new relationship could develop complications too

6.Oh I am so unlucky
Well all have ups and downs. And sometimes its so great to be just alive. After all you arent amongst the
24000 people who die Everyday from hunger. So stop making the rounds of every astrologer or brooding to yourself on why should I be so unlucky. You are alive, you are not unlucky.

7.I just wanna die
Who said you are not going to die? Everyone dies. So stop thinking about speeding it. Think of this as your second life and enjoy it.

8.I will never get another one
Uh never say never. The point is, even if you never get another, that doesn't mean you can't live, happily. You have got yourself, and You are Complete.

9.Something is wrong with me
Well it could be or it couldn't be. But a relationship is not just about wrong or right but about compatibility and love. If you think you need to be different in something, be different, but do it because you want to do it, not because you want a relationship.

10.Perhaps I should be just friends
Nothing wrong in being friendly, but make the boundaries clear. And its stupid, to say I just want to be friends and then obsessing if perhaps, there was more to the smile..

11.Let me find comfort in food/alcohol/drugs
Watch out you could end up with more problems

12.I have the Right to Roar with Rage
If one relationship goes wrong, doesn't give you the right to sabatoge other relationships. So however tempting it is to vent your frustration at family,friends and colleagues, do go easy on them too:)

13.I am embarrassed and can't face the world and want to Crawl into a hole
Its your life, live it. If others bother you with it, look them in the eye, lift an eyebrow and say Oh yeah, So what? If they care about you, they are not going to taunt or embarass you. Why care what those who don't care for you think or say?

14.I will be always wrong and can never make the right choice
Uh. No child can walk with the first step and if every child think, hey I stumbled, I shouldn't try walking, the whole world would be crawling not walking or running:) Sure next time be careful, but please don't give up. Its not natural. Go get the world, fighter.
15.Wherever Ex goes: Perhaps if I keep appearing in front of my ex, things would change / I will avoid everything connected with Ex
Hey people get scared of stalkers, dont fall in love with them. Don't force your ex to get a restraining order. At the same time, if there are places and persons whom you have to visit, for reasons OTHER than your ex, do visit. Just be cool, polite and keep a distance, when you come across your ex in those situations

16.I have to be happy : I am very determined to be happy. And I will tell all I AM VERRRY HAPPY
Forced cheerfulness, is ok to an extent. But please don't pressurise yourself too much to feel something you aren't feeling. Its ok to feel sad. Acknowledge the pain, before deciding to move on. And its ok to cry for a while, if you want (like the rest, this is for guys and gals)

17.I just cant stop thinking about my Ex
Hey its not easy to forget. At the same time, don't be obsessed. Accept your ex is Ex. Whats worse than the time not being with your Ex, is to regret tommorrow that you spent today, thinking about Ex.

18.My Ex is now with my friend!
Dump your friend too. And move on.

19.My Ex is getting married! To go or not to go
Hmmm, if you get an invitation and if you Want to go, go. And make sure you don't have expectations of your ex deciding at the last moment to marry you:) But if you dont get an invitation, please don't go.

20.I want revenge
The best revenge is to NOT let it affect you. Just be yourself. Instead of thinking I will not do this, because the other person would want me to do it, do what You want.

Precious Minutes
This minute is precious, so is every minute after this. You climbed Mount Everest and had a fantastic view. And unfortunately, now you feel like you have been pushed down. But that doesn't mean you can't recover, and decide in future to climb another peak either.

You had good time, now its tough time.
Don't regret,
Forgive, but don't Forget
Every minute you live is a gift to you.

You may feel exhausted and want to lie down for a while
But have a plan of getting up refreshed too.

You have a choice, to brood and feel low for a long time
Or decide to bounce back.
The past can be a hammock or a springboard.

The choice is yours
Its your life, don't let your beautiful minutes, be taken away.
It may not be in your hands on how others treat you
But you and you alone are in control of how you treat yourself.
Don't dump yourself, You deserve better and the best:)

This post is not about stopping you from loving your Ex,
but to tell you, your love for your Ex,
shouldn't stop you from a happier life:)
if your Ex decides to not reciprocate your love

PS : This post like other
Relationships posts is gender neutral :)


  1. Very good and apt advice. And the 12th point is oh-so-right. I've seen friends just turning into something else, just because they don't want to do what their ex wanted them to..

    Also I've seen one more trend, where a dumped person claims to be happy to everyone around. I've even adviced one to not convince me or herself that she's happy, but be genuinely happy. Man, she sounded desperate for me to believe that she's happy!!

  2. yeah...well said....

    Pain is inevitable, Sufferings is Choice


    Happy week end


  3. having gone thru this, i know how it feels...and after reading this one i can say that you haven't missed even a single thing...bravo.

    although doing all this aint easy, but then you have to get hold of your life.

    though its the memories that keep on coming back, the ghosts of the past....and some bookmarks that remind you of those books you once read...well.

    guess i must stop before i start goin back in time...

  4. When I went through this I kept myself very very very busy... :)

    Self respect is something which should never be given up.. dumping or no dumping.. that intact.. you can come out of it all... little by little

  5. Work,It helped me,I buried myself deep into it,Got busy and thank god it helps:) Yes,As Pallavi said,Nothing more than the selfrespect,I wouldn want anyone to pity me,And i never let anyone pity me,Its unfortunate for the other person,Not for me {i found it difficult to say at the begining} but trust me self pity is very dangerous,better be away from it:)I learnt it myself.
    That was a beautiful post gaya,Helps:) thanku
    To be happy or not is in our hands,and the day we realise it we will smile more.

  6. deeps hmmm should have thought of that too:) yeah false cheer isnt great, but then self pity is worse will modify that in the post, thanks

    vishnu none could have phrased it better, wow:)

    @$#!$# i am really sorry, wish i could say something better though, take care:)

    pallavi YES:)

    akruti:) u have a beautiful way with words, take care:) and thanks:)

    have added 3 points think will have to again modify it:)

  7. What up?
    Post about the dumped - hope things are ok!

  8. Pareshaan thanks:)
    Things are wonderful , I just celebrated the 8th anniversary.

    I post on relationships too, so this was for some other bloggers.
    sorry didnt see this comment earlier:)

  9. Tx I needed it.

    I think I was losing self respect sometime back.

  10. I badly needed this, and you really are wise! Thanks for putting this link on Tanvi's blog. Helped me as well. :) ~Punam

  11. you are welcome Punam. I won't say its easy, just saying try to deal with it, second by second.

  12. wise donkey is wise in every aspect..good post on relationships...point to be noted is gender neutral :)..

  13. of course only rarely are my posts not gender neutral:)


Have a Great Day!