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Jun 8, 2006

The Spy who would Love You

What do you email, when you know your Boss could read your email?
Well you could get angry and write an email with the message "Whoever is reading this message is wasting their time and is absolutely stupid and doesn't value privacy. Err I don't mean you just the Spies.." or do the smart thing, stop emailing stuff you don't want to your Boss to read. Or completely stop sending emails from work.


But why waste an opportunity. So here are some emails, that you could send
1.To a Recruitment Consultant. Dear ____ Thanks for the offer. Even though the your offer means a higher position, I am not interested in this offer since, I would be getting a promotion, in my own organisation soon.

2.To Spouse. Sorry dear I will be home late again today. Just because the work is not urgent doesnt mean its not important. or
To a friend. Sorry I can't attend the party tonight, I will be working late. or
To a friend. Hmmm, the party will mean useful contacts and better business for my company, even though its informal? Well I will speak to my Boss.Think my Boss will understand and let me off early today.

3.To a Colleague. You know it bothers me that ___(the colleague you both dislike) is sleeping during working hours. Or
To a Colleague, I don't want to be a tale teller, yet it bothers me that ____ (the colleague you both dislike) said _____ (fill whatever you want to say) about Boss.

4.To a friend. I am sorry to hear about your Boss, I am lucky I have a fantastic Boss who recognises my talents and I am sure I will get a raise this year.

5.To your younger sibling. If you dont have one, then a friend. Congrats on the result! Its wonderful to hear that my stories about my Boss inspired you. My Boss has been a constant source of inspiration, to me too.

6.To your parents. Dear ___. I have a very professional environment and an inspiring, fair Boss. And I have worked a lot this year and I am sure my Boss has noticed this and will give me a good raise.

7.To your friend. You don't see me on my way to work, because I come early and go late. Its so inspiring to work under a fair Boss.

8.To your friend. You are right on the zodiac. Leos are really inspiring and fair. (Obviously only if your Boss is a Leo, otherwise substitute the zodiac. And of course if you belong to same zodiac mention it).

9.To your friend. I didn't know about the century/goal/___ yesterday. My work is more important than a cricket/football score.

10.To a friend. Please don't send forwards, or expect emails from me. I don't like to waste time.

11.To your friend. OK I will not send emails, if you think your Boss would read your emails. But my Boss trusts me ,and I can't imagine my Boss accepting this policy. (Its not going to stop your Boss from being a spy, but just makes him/her feel guilty. Don't send this more than once. People hate having to feel guilty).

12.To your friend. What amazes me is that my Boss is putting up with being undervalued. Luckily, I don't have that problem, otherwise I might just quit and get a new job.(And who knows your Boss might take the cue, and you could get the vacant position).

Note :
Praise your Boss not your Company. If you praise your Company, the Boss would think you would stay with the company even if you didn't get a promotion. But if you praise your Boss, well there is a slight pressure on your Boss to recognise your talent. Dont send all the emails at once. Spread them.Warn in advance over phone or in person that you would be sending these emails. The Boss might read the incoming emails too and it doesn't look good, if you get a reply "Have you become crazy, you said you hated your Boss."
Dont send this blogpost as a forward to your friend. It doesn't serve its purpose when your friend's Boss reads it along with your friend.

So go ahead create a new email id and an imaginery friend and send the emails and from being just a Spy, your Boss would become the Spy who Loves you.
So what if your Boss could be a spy
And now while sending emails you have to be shy
Rather than say its unfair and cry
Or with stupid emails, defy
And kiss your job goodbye
Why not make your Boss, your ally
Starting sending emails with few startling lies
And with your Boss, strengthen the ties
And who knows you could get a promotion as time flies
And you could be reading others emails, and you would recognise the lies

9 comments:

  1. aaha..great ideas there.Will owe u a treat if i get a promotion :)

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  2. Hey donkii

    Think they really will work, let me give it a try.

    We really appreciate your service to the community.

    Hari

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  3. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  4. If you want your boss to stop reading your mail... (but in a 'subtle' way)
    14. I get the feeling that my boss has a man-crsuh on me!

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  5. I will try,I will try these:)
    Hey Gaya,will mail you soon,right now on a cooking marathon:p {learning everything for the first time}

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  6. :D bard
    hari wow thanks:D

    raka :D but then ur boss is going to think, this $#$#@ is spreading lies about me and will get angry, now whats the point of an angry boss. one could write many people at work have a crush on Boss.. and make boss happy:D

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  7. alapana all the best:D

    no probs take ur time:)

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  8. Wow!! nice post buddy.. i'm copying it and sending it to my friends Of course, from my dummy mail id as important spam..
    next time i'm even thinking of ciphering my text with my own software and sending it to my GF. she never sends me mails complaining that her boss reads her personal mails!! Any ways..i'm soon gonna send her 128 bit DES encrypted data with required software..and will tell her the key on phone ;) how's that? haha..!

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Have a Great Day!