Aargh Diaries - Cricket Catastrophe

There are still some souls in India who think cricket is a waste of energy. OK OK I will be specific - men's cricket. (They dont have an opinion on women's cricket because, though they reached World Cup final, most dont know they exist.)

But what no one considers a waste is the post series analysis. So what if the Indian team has a laptop, software etc, I wonder if any computer can compete with the billion opinions which will be discussed now.

Well what can we do when India wins? Party all night, burst crackers, distribute sweets and tell the next day wow did u see the match etc? So we will have some commentators singing praises and we will have to endure the cricketer who is the flavour of the month, in few more ads.

But when we lose :

We can moan and groan at parties and say Indians are not tough enough mentally.

Discuss that cricketers come in too many ads. (Never mind we wouldnt imagine boycotting even a soft drink they endorse.)

We can focus all our energies on criticising the team. And now our life would have a goal, which will be for the welfare of the nation.
Now every Indian (except those on the team) will have one common enemy - Indian Cricket Team (never mind the hunger, corruption, maternal mortality rates, neonatal death rates etc).

Its good for team spirit too.
Neighbours who will turn the other way to cries of help, will agree over chai, coffee or cold drink, on who needs to be sacked.
Colleagues who wouldnt see eye to eye on a project, will agree whole heartedly on Tips to improve Team Spirit and Team Strategy. (err Cricket Team of course)

I will have to check with Saas Bahu Expert Ekta on whether Saas Bahu will agree on the national disgrace and also if she will feature Saurav in a Serial - Kyonki Commentator bhi Kabhi Captain tha (and let Saurav have a gala time criticising every cricketer on earth)

Never mind the Men's cricket team not doing their job, tommorrow the main job at work for many would be to unanimously criticise them. Supreme Court can say they will function inspite of Ram Navami, but it cant say, Indians should work inspite of a Loss. (Especially after we lost to Pakistan. What a national disaster and shame na..).

Of course the Indian public have been denied their treat and Ganguly was not the captain, and everyone's blue eyed boy was the captain during the last 2 matches. (Grrrr why didnt Afridi give Saurav a torrid time?).

But that will not interfer with the media having a glorious time.
There will be polls on who is to be sent to the chopping block.
Advise from cricketers who earlier didnt perform, telling the team where they went wrong.
And last but not the least, match fixing will raise its head. And now the media will wonder if any hidden camera will work any wonders (for their ratings of course). And even if proof is not there, one can always talk of that possiblity.

Mushji sure knew about timing. Whats important to Indians, the team winning or plight of Kashmiri pandits? Well if what gets discussed is any indication, its definitely the former. Hmmm, perhaps he thought if India won the whole series 6-0, we might not care about giving him some chunks of Kashmir. And well think of it the other way too. If Ganguly had been the captain and lost the series 6-0 and Manmohan had agreed to some compromises, who would have been in media's headlines, Ganguly or Manmohan? OK OK I wont ask dumb questions.

Well I would write more but I am now going to join others, to check if there are any TV cameras in my street and confess my Despair, Dejection, Distress, Disillusionment, and Declare its a National Disgrace and Demand that the entire cricket team be Banned, Jailed, or Drowned depending on the channel in question.

And along with the nation, I say Aaargh.
No, not at the team losing.
No, not at the time I spend on watching it and discussing it...

Aaargh if only BCCI could be sensible and appoint me as the next Coach...