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Jan 7, 2006

Aargh Diaries - The Borrow Sorrow

Got an email from a friend.
Aargh what can should I do? My friend didnt return what I gave. I feel miserable. Please advise.

So emailed back.
Dear ...,

Let this be a lesson. Dont lend. If you still want to lend, lend it without expecting it to be returned.

Well this is a quick guide on What to Do When your Best Friend Borrows and doesnt return or says its Lost. What matters is not the price of your item, but its value. Even if you didnt care much for it earlier, Even if it costs less a Rupee, it was yours, and you expected it to be returned. And when it doesnt happen, you have every right in the world to be upset. And want to do something about it.

1.Keep borrowing the friend's stuff. And return them the next day. The purpose of borrowing is not for you to use it, but to scare the friend into thinking, what if it doesnt get returned and its a tit for tat. And to make the friend feel guilty when you return it promptly.

2.Buy what has been misplaced, and give the friend the bill. Might seem the sensible option. But life is not about doing whats sensible, but what feels good.

3.Talk about the case in, Texas USA where one friend sued another for not returning a book and won $15000 in emotional damages. No big purpose, just would make the friend guilty and be thankful for not being born there and being aware of a factor called Emotional Damage.

4.If its a lost CD or Book or anything which has a name, whenever you meet your friend, wear a Tshirt with that name. For variations, wear another Tshirt which says "The Mystery of the Lost ___".(Fill the name of your precious object in the blank, dont leave it a blank).

5.Blog about it. Write about the loss of faith and loss of trust when something that is yours is taken away for ever. And get another friend to send your friend that blog link. And if your friend confronts you with it, say, you will blog about it again if you get it back. And point out your friend could be the symbol of being better late than never.

6.Mention that you will be on TV next week, and they will be asking you about your friends. After a minute, ask if there is any chance of you getting back what was yours and precious to you. Hopefully your friend wouldnt want you telling on TV to the world, that he/she lost what was precious to you and perhaps would search seriously this time.

7.Ring up the music channels and the FM channels and start dedicating songs to your precious item. And say solemnly, you miss it so much and life is so tough, because it was your friend who lost it. Refuse to name your friend, though. Do it every week. And of course life would be wonderful, if your friend watches or listens to that program.

8.Challenge your friend, by saying, I dare you to find that precious item, exactly within 6 hours 23 minutes and 12 seconds

9.If sms is free, SMS "Good morning, did you find it" atleast once every day. Or send ecards which say "Have a great day and hopefully I can have a great day tommorrow, when you finally tell me you found it."

10.Always be aware of the dates regarding the precious item. The date of buying, the date of lending, the date of being first told its lost, and today's date. Whenever you reach any of the anniversaries, dont forget to celebrate it with your friend.

All this may not ensure you would get back your precious.
But atleast next time your friends would think twice about losing something that is yours.
Of course if the friends decide to dump you, fine, who wants friends with people who dont return stuff.

All the Best

Got the 2nd email. I expected a warm thank you email. But all it said was -
"Aargh I am confused. I gave my heart to my friend..."


Aargh is a fictional character.
More from Aargh Diaries Series . Blog Post No.262


  1. i am having probs commenting in o3 blogs. i get the msg, blog not found. so sorry for not commenting.

  2. If he has given heart to his friend then, #3, #8, #5 will work for him...a lil bit of #6 might work too...

  3. Hello Aarghs frnd,

    Good tips.....:D:D:D

    1) Do u really need to return the stuff.....:(

    2) Giv the bill and also add ur own bill for the intrest to be paid to u @ 10% on it from the day u gave it 2 ur frnd and till he pays up the bill.

    3) Huh.....this is India Mrs. D. Judges dont hav time to decide on criminal cases.....iska kya hoge???

    4) Dont 4get to write with washable paint, cos u might need the T-shirt again and again and 4 diff frnds

    5) Naahh. Who reads the posts anyways....:D

    6 and 7) Wont work on frnds like me. Am intrstd in generating bad publicity only...:P. So in case me happen to borrow something from u.....this wont work...:D. On the other hand since I already know ur tricks.....nothing will work...:D

    8) I wud say that I am 2 lazy. You can come and search my home if u like.

    9) Now thats one good way to bug someone, until they change their number or blocks ur id...:D

    10) Sure I will celebrate with u and also invite u to the aniversary of the day it was lost....:D

    PS: Tell ur frnd that wait untill total heart replacement is possible, and the he/she can give it to as many as they like.

    Now for some complaints....

    1) U hav turned the verification back...X(

    2) "since i dont read all the comments of course i am konfusd on the rumour." u hav finally admitted it......:P:P:P

    If u r really intrsted, u wud hav 2 read the comments in "Very Old Forward"....u will get a ver good idea bout the current post....:D:D:D
    Its worth it.....though u r bound to totally disagree.

  4. lol konfusd

    1. if you dont return, you will be just like ur friend and anyway ur friend is not likely to lend anything good the first time, of course you can try to keep it if after 21 times you finally get somethin ur friend cherishes and blackmail..


    3.its just to make the friend feel guilty. u need variations na..

    4.funny even i thought of it.. but hopefully if u target one friend, others will get msg... what, the friend will read na:D

    6 and 7... hmmm well it always helps to have some up ur sleeve, especially with u:D assumin i would lend u:d

    8. that would be great as along as u dont mind some stuff in ur house broken and misplaced:d


    10. hmmm thanks btw just dont forget 2 pay the bill.

    spam is a pain. i just hate it. sorry.

    if its above 15-20 comments, i dont read them in o3, now.
    will check that post

  5. 6 & 7) Was xpecting that reply....:D

    8) that was gr8. dint think bout that....:D. Me will move all the precious stuff to ur place without ur knowledge aand then get them back when u r returning home.....:D

    10) can i borrow some money pls.....i'll return latr.....:D

    "if its above 15-20 comments"
    well it comes to 70 comments, but only te last 15-20 comments(by max, peshwa, punkedge, etc starting from Neel....:D) are related to the current post.

  6. grrr konfusd now you should have told me who was mr.cheese.
    and i had to read every comment thrice trying to find out.
    well the donkee never gives up and came found thru another blog and on the "crowning of mr.cheese".

  7. i was busy reading ur blog so didnt read ur Sat Jan 07, 08:22:34 PM 2006 comment, so had no clue on the cheeeeeeeeseeeeeeee:d

  8. hey dint know there was "crowning mr. cheese"
    can u giv me link?

    "and i had to read every comment thrice trying to find out."
    Sorry u had to go thru such trouble. But D, seriously, saying that out direcly wud hav spoiled the fun na....:D
    Am letting ppl geuss. Some does.....some doesnt...:D


    update : blogger who were talked abt and missed

    Neel, Max, Busybee, Gayatri, Wise D, N.G., does it matter, Savy, Samy, Sunny, The Bard, Godo, amita, leon and on immense pressure i hav to add abt bharti goin gagagoogoogaga over neel shah and his comments .... and hence he was crowned as MR. Cheese unanimously ...CLAP CLAP CLAP ....

    btw i hadnt paid attention to comments by mr.cheese b4
    hmmm didnt u attend this meet:)

  10. LOL!! You can also do another thing: Complain to every friend you meet, rearding the missing item. The friends will get so sick and tired of you saying it that they'll never even think of borrowing anything from you again. Hey, it might not return you the item, but it'll make sure all your other items are with you :-D.

  11. Have i read this before, somewhere? ;)

  12. hehehehe...:))

    Aargh is brilliant:D

  13. deeps, yes, but then you wouldnt want the friend to avoid or get irritated and break a nose.
    sms and ecards are safer, i thought:)
    i loved your last line, "it might not return you the item, but it'll make sure all your other items are with you " Precisely :D

    Vaibhav, its not a direct lift from my comment in your blog, i did change some points and the context of the post, and i did mention in ur blog that the post is based on my comment in your blog:)

    ramses thanks:)


Have a Great Day!