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Jul 14, 2010

Predictor Paul

The World Cup might be end of the road for many players and coaches but could kickstart a new career for Paul the Octopus. And while he might make millions choosing between Pepsi and Coke, there are other interesting avenues open for him.

1.Adult Entertainment.
Well if people can google donkey sex (and arrive on my post on Sex life goes up in Smoke), won't similar people be interested in octopus sex. (Even if Octopus is a British slang for a sexually importunate man).

2.Peace by Piece.
If Paul could pick up the winner of a match, why not the owner of land. Simply start with a map and 2 flags. Middle East Conflict? Resolved! And no prizes for guessing the winner of next year's Nobel Peace Prize.

3.BP Consultant.
Pipes,ROVs, Top Kill, Super Skimmer, Top Hat 10 .. Oh please Paul Pick up the strategy that will work.

4.Godman.
Become a partner with any Godman in India, be a Private Psychic to Politicians and Stars, get a temple and a huge devotee following. What else would it want. Market an Octodollar that will bring luck and forget millions, Paul could be a billionaire.
Oh wait. There is a Godman who claims his soul went into Paul's body, because he was in Himalayas during the World Cup.

5.Expert commentator on TV.
A Predictor among the Predictable Crowd ,it would be interesting and a huge relief (one less shrill voice on TV), even if its not as lucrative as other options.

6.Reality Show Judge.
Replacement for Simon on American Idol? Thats a boring option. The interesting one would be Paul's Pathi-Patni. Tie up with NDTV Imagine to pick the winner in each round of its next Swayamvar. A Pathi or a Patni decided by Psychic Paul, which celebrity will say no to it?

7.Social Networking
Netizens bored with facebook, twitter and foursquare can pester their friends and strangers, by sending out invites to join them in Octreach. Tweets would be out, Squirts would be in.

Well I can forget other options. Heard the Breaking News on Twitter (where else). Modi is back as IPL Incharge in alliance with Paul. And since BCCI will be making millions by auctioning Paul's services (Team/Strategy Selector) amongst the IPL Teams, they have forgiven Modi for his technical mistakes. Oh well, guess its a smart move. If Paul Predicted the winner of IPL 3, who will watch the matches, and what will we do with our lives.

11 comments:

  1. Very creative.. I was thinking to write What Next for Paul but with a different perspective. Will post it soon.

    About your lists, I am thinking which would be the most lucrative option for Paul? Everything is nice, maybe he can try every profession you have mentioned :-)

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  2. Thanks Insignia:)

    btw there was an article titled Paul's murky past, maybe you could work on it too:)

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  3. Oh!! Was it murky? This is news!! Let me dig for the news :-)

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  4. hiii

    hahah! very nice post! esp point number 4, a god man! its the best profession in India... lol!

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  5. vicious thanks:)

    AS my fav was the reality show judge:)

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  6. :) made me smile now that post.. he he ehe Paul is going or is a celebrity and for whatever reasons tons of people are writing about him...

    but I liked the GODMAN part someone in himalayas sent his soul , my humble request please Can you send your sould for just three days in me , Wednesday, friday and Saturday .. THATS all i ask.. LOTTO results come .. if three is greedy then 2 or even just 1 would do BEGGING ...

    and the past you mentioned in the comment, ah ha well who doesnot have a past..

    and please dont advice him to join one of the BABA's in india we already have tons of them One more :)

    nice one :)

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  7. thanks bikramjit especially for the long comment:)

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  8. Thank you for the link about his past. :-)
    It was nice knowing his past as well

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  9. This is the badge created for Parentnet.in. Would appreciate if you could promote it on your blog. Thanks!

    http://parentnet.in/images/ParentNetBadge.png

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  10. rachna i had visited ur blog earlier and added it:)

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